Zosavomerezeka Zosavomerezeka: Kufufuza Malire Ovuta

M'zaka zaposachedwa, zokambirana za "kuvomereza kuvomereza," kapena "CNC," zakhala zikuchulukirachulukira mdziko la kink ndi sadomasochism (BDSM). Malingaliro a CNC ndikufufuza kwamphamvu, ndikukhazikika kotheratu mphamvu zonse, ndikudziyika kwathunthu mmanja mwa wina. Ngakhale lingaliro ili ndi lochititsa mantha kwa ena, kwa ena kuti mantha amatanthauzanso kukhala chizolowezi champhamvu chogonana.

Zachisoni ndi masochism zimafotokozera anthu omwe amachita zopweteka kapena kulandira zowawa, ngati gawo lachiwerewere. Kafukufuku wamakono akuwonetsa kuti kufunafuna chisangalalo, kutengeka, komanso kutseguka kuti mukhale nazo ndizofunikira kwambiri zomwe zimapangitsa anthu kuti azichita zachiwerewere monga BDSM (Brown, Barker & Rahman, 2019; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013). Monga momwe anthu ena amatengera zokonda za "adrenaline" - monga kusewera skydiving pomwe ena amakonda kuluka, anthu ena amatengeka ndikukhala ndi zikhalidwe zogonana zomwe zimalimbikitsa kwambiri, pomwe ena amakonda kupanga zachikondi mwakachetechete.

Khalidwe logonana lomwe limakhudza kumenyedwa komanso mphamvu, nkhanza, kapena kulamulira ndizofala kwambiri ndipo sizimagwirizana ndimatenda kapena kusokonezeka kwamalingaliro (mwachitsanzo, Joyal, 2015). Nthawi zambiri, pamakhalidwe a BDSM, pali anthu omwe amakhala ndi machitidwe apamwamba, olimbikira, aukali, kapena owongolera. Kwa ena, kuwongolera kwamaganizidwe kapena "masewera am'mutu" ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri pazochitikazo, zomwe kugonjera kumakakamizidwa kukhala ndi malingaliro amphamvu, amantha, nkhawa, ngakhale kunyansidwa, pomwe amakhala pachibwenzi chodalirika, chokambirana, komanso mgwirizano.Ngakhale BDSM ndi CNC nthawi zambiri zimakhala zogonana, izi nthawi zina zimangokhala kungofufuza mphamvu, osalumikizana kwambiri.

Kuvomerezeka kwa zizolowezi za sadomasochistic ndikulandila kafukufuku waposachedwa (mwachitsanzo, Carvalho, Freitas & Rosa, 2019), ndipo pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana yazoyimira zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito mu BDSM, kuphatikiza: "Otetezeka, Oganiza bwino komanso Ovomerezeka," "Risk Aware Consensual Kink , "" Kusamalira, Kulankhulana, Kuvomereza ndi Kusamala, "ndi" Chivomerezo Chopitilira "(Santa Lucia, 2005; Williams, Thomas, Prior & Christensen, 2014). Anthu omwe amatenga nawo mbali mu BDSM amakonda kudziwa zambiri pazovomerezeka, ndipo amakhala ndi luso pakukambirana zavomerezo (Eg Dunkley & Brotto, 2019), ngakhale kuphwanya chilolezo ndikuzunzidwa kukuchitikabe m'maguluwa. "Safewords" ndi gawo limodzi lazokambirana pazochitika za BDSM, momwe anthu amadziwira njira (mawu kapena chisonyezero) momwe angathetsere ntchito akakhala ndi nkhawa, komanso zomwe zimawalola kuti anene "ayi" ndikukana kapena kulimbana , osamaliza ntchitoyi.

"Kuvomereza kosavomerezeka" kumafotokozera kuchita zomwe zitha kuphatikizira zikhalidwe zosakondera, kapena zitha kukambirana zikhalidwe zogonana pomwe wina avomera kusiya chilolezo pamikhalidwe kapena maubwenzi ena. Mwachitsanzo, izi zitha kuphatikizira anthu omwe amafotokozera anzawo kapena anzawo omwe angaganize kuti akuganiza zakubedwa ndi kugwiriridwa ndipo abwenziwo agwirizana kuti izi zikhala sewero pamoyo weniweni, kuti akwaniritse malingaliro oyenerawo. "CNC" imalongosola momwe anthuwo amakambiraniraniranatu pasadakhale zomwe machitidwe omwe angakhalepo posachedwa komanso sewero lomwe angaphatikizepo. Kuvomereza kosavomerezeka kumayimira mtundu wa anthu omwe amaika udindo ndi kuwongolera m'manja mwa munthu wina ndikuwayitanira kuti amukakamize kupitilira malire awo kapena kutenga udindo wogonjetsa zopinga zamkati mwa omwe akuchita zomwe akuchita. Kuvomereza kosavomerezeka, makamaka, kumawonetsa kukokomeza kopanda mphamvu.

Pali zokambirana zochepa za CNC pazofufuza komanso zamankhwala. Lingaliro lofananira la "zoseweretsa zakugwiririra" lafufuzidwa kwambiri, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti ndizofala kwambiri. Kafukufuku wosiyanasiyana akusonyeza kuti pakati pa 30-60% ya akazi amafotokoza zakugonana, kugwiriridwa, kuchitiridwa zachipongwe, kapena kugwiriridwa mosagwirizana ndi chifuniro chawo, pafupifupi theka akuti maloto oterewa amawadzutsa komanso amawathandiza (mwachitsanzo, Bivona & Critelli, 2009) . Palibe chidziwitso chokhudza azimayi angati omwe amaphatikiza malingaliro oterewa pakugonana. Amayi ambiri amawopa kuti kugawana nawo zoterezi kumawapangitsa kuti agwiriridwe, kapena kwa anthu omwe amakhulupirira kuti amafunadi kuchitiridwa zachipongwe, zomwe (Bivona & Critelli, 2009). Maanja akafuna kuphatikiza zoseweretsa zakugonana muzochita zawo zogonana, imatha kukhala yovuta, yodzaza, koma yopindulitsa nthawi zambiri komanso yabwino. (Johnson, Stewart & Farrow, 2019)

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom idachita kafukufuku wa anthu omwe akuchita nawo BDSM kuti afufuze kuchuluka kwa kuphwanya chilolezo kwa iwo omwe amachita BDSM. Mwa opitilira zikwi zinayi, 29% adalemba mbiri yakuphwanya chilolezo, kuyambira kuseweretsana ndikukhudza mpaka kulowa maliseche osagwirizana. Anthu 40 pa 100 alionse ananena kuti anali atachita zinthu zodziwikiratu ku CNC ndi m'makhalidwe awo, momwe “munthu m'modzi kapena angapo amapereka ufulu wololeza kuvomereza kwa nthawi yonse ya zochitikazo.” Mwa iwo omwe adachita CNC, ndi 14% okha omwe adanena kuti malire awo omwe adakambirana kale adaphwanyidwa mu CNC kapena ubale, womwe unali theka la kuchuluka kwa kuphwanya chilolezo komwe kunanenedwa pachitsanzo chonse. Ndi 22% yokha mwa anthu omwe amachita machitidwe a CNC omwe akuti adakumana ndi zophwanya chilolezo nthawi iliyonse, poyerekeza ndi 29% ya zitsanzozo kwakukulu. Olembawo akuti "kukambirana ndi kukambirana kowonjezera komwe kumafunika kuti munthu akhale mu CNC ndichimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kuti mukhale ndi chidziwitso chokwanira." (Wright, Stambaugh & Cox, 2015., tsamba 20)

Maubwenzi a "Master-akapolo" ndi njira yovomerezeka yamaubwenzi osagwirizana a BDSM, pomwe anthu amakambirana za mgwirizano womwe m'modzi amaloleza wina kuti aziwongolera mbali zonse za moyo wake. Maubwenzi apatsogolo ndi akapolo ndi ochepa, koma alipo, ndipo adaphunziridwa mu 2013 ndi Dancer, Kleinplatz, ndi Moser. Adapeza kuti pophatikiza zochitika zatsiku ndi tsiku zatsiku ndi tsiku monga ntchito zapakhomo ndi zochitika zatsiku ndi tsiku pamagawo azosiyana mphamvu m'miyoyo yawo, ophunzira adakulitsa malire azokonda zawo za BDSM kupatula zochitika zachiwerewere zokha. Ngakhale panali malingaliro ndi malingaliro a "kugonjera kwathunthu," "akapolo" omwe adakambirana mosagwirizana osagwirizana adagwiritsabe ntchito ufulu wawo pakafunika kutero mokomera iwo. Pafupifupi theka la "akapolo" mu phunziroli adalongosola kuti adadziwiratu kuthekera kokana malamulo ochokera kwa mbuye wawo, akangolowa pachibwenzi. Makumi asanu ndi awiri mphambu anayi a "akapolo" adanena kuti anali ndi machitidwe omwe kale amawoneka ngati osatheka kwa iwo, chifukwa "adakankhidwa mopitirira malire" ndi mbuye wawo.

Zosavomerezeka, maubwenzi a akapolo, malingaliro ochita zachiwerewere, ndi BDSM makamaka ndizomwe zimakambirana kwambiri pa intaneti pazanema. Tsoka ilo, monga chilichonse pa intaneti, zokambiranazi zitha kukhala ndi zambiri zoyipa kapena zolakwika monga momwe zimakhalira ndi malingaliro kapena zinthu zabwino. Othandizira azakugonana komanso azachipatala monga ine ndimakumana nawo nthawi zambiri omwe zidziwitso zawo za BDSM, CNC, kapena njira zina zogonana zachokera ku magwero apaintaneti, ndipo zimakhala ndi zokayikira zambiri komanso zosavomerezeka.

Kumvetsetsa kwazachipatala komanso kwasayansi kwakuchulukirachulukira, chikhalidwe, ndi malingaliro azikhalidwe zovomerezeka zomwe sizigwirizana zangoyamba kumene. Kafukufuku ndi ntchito zamankhwala pazinthu izi zikuchitika, koma gawo ili lachiwerewere likusinthanso ndikukula, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kulingalira bwino. Zikuwonekeratu kuti anthu ambiri amaganiza zakugonana komwe sangathawe kapena kumaliza zomwezo. Ndi anthu ochepa okha omwe amachita izi m'moyo weniweni kudzera m'masewero, poyerekeza ndi zongopeka, ngakhale zikuwoneka kuti sizachilendo kuchita izi. Kuchita ndi chilolezo, kudzizindikira, kukambirana, komanso kulumikizana, zikuwoneka kuti kuphatikiza machitidwe osavomerezeka pazikhalidwe zogonana kumatha kukhala gawo labwino komanso lokwaniritsa lachiwerewere kwa anthu ena, kuwalola kukulitsa malire awo ogonana.

Dunkley, C. & Brotto, L. (2019) Udindo wovomerezeka pamalingaliro a BDSM. Kuzunzidwa Pogonana, DOI: 10.1177 / 1079063219842847

Johnson, Stewart & Farrow (2019) Zopeka Zokhudza Kugwirira Akazi: Kulingalira Zopeka ndi Zazachipatala Kuti Adziwitse Zochita, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, DOI: 10.1080 / 15332691.2019.1687383

Santa Lucia (2005). Kuvomereza kosalekeza. Mu The Regulation of Sex, Carceral Notebooks, Vol 1. Ipezeka pa: Carceral Notebooks - Journal Volume 1 (thecarceral.org)

Williams, Thomas, Pambuyo & Christensen, (2014). Kuchokera ku "SSC" ndi "RACK" kupita ku "4Cs": Kuyambitsa dongosolo latsopano lokambirana nawo BDSM. Zolemba Zamagetsi Zokhudza Kugonana Kwaanthu, Vuto 17, Julayi 5, 2014

Wright, Stambaugh & Cox, (2015). Kafukufuku Waphwanya Zovomereza, Lipoti la Tech. Ipezeka pa: Kafukufuku Wovomerezeka Wachiwawa (ncsfreedom.org)