Kuchita Ndi Anthu Ovuta Kuyamba Nafe

Mu bulogu yam'mbuyomu, ndidapereka zolozera kuti ndithane ndi anthu osakhutira omwe tonse timakumana nawo m'maofesi, masukulu, mabanja ndi magulu azikhalidwe, ku Kusunga Mizimu Pamwamba Anthu Ena Akatikokera Pansi.¹ Malingaliro omwe agawidwayo samangokhala nyengo imodzi yokha koma ndiwothandiza pazochita zathu za tsiku ndi tsiku.

Chinsinsi chothanirana ndi mkwiyo wa anthu, zotchinga ndi ziphuphu zomwe amapereka, komanso kudzudzula kwawo ndi mauthenga osalimbikitsa omwe amatulutsa mawu ndikutenganso kwathu. Osati iwo, koma ife. Kwenikweni, momwe machitidwe awo onse amatigwirira kapena kutisintha, makamaka ... ngati tiwalola.

Masiku kapena masabata mutasonkhana: Tinawalola?

Kodi timalola anthu ovuta kapena zochitika kutilanda? Ndipo tingasinthe bwanji tokha kupita patsogolo?

Bulogu yanga yam'mbuyomu idalongosola kusiyana pakati pazomwe zimachitika ndi momwe zimachitikira, ndikuwona kuti anthu nthawi zambiri amatsutsa pamitu yatsopano (zomwe zili) koma kuti kusintha koona kumaphatikizapo kukonza momwe timayankhulira kapena momwe timachitira.

Nayi mndandanda womwe ungakuthandizeni kuti muzichita zinthu mwanzeru kuti “chaka chatsopano” chizigwiradi ntchito:

Musayembekezere kuti ena asintha. Gwiritsani ntchito nokha m'malo mwake. Tikakhazikitsa chiyembekezo chochepa kapena osayembekezera ena, timakhala ndi mwayi wokhutira. Kuphatikiza apo, dziwani ngati mukulimbana ndi vuto la umunthu wozikika. Khalidwe la munthu, popita nthawi, limatiuza izi. Ngati kapena mukazindikira tsango la mikhalidwe yovuta, malingaliro azomwe amachita ndikukambirana sizigwira ntchito monga momwe ndidalemba mu Stop Granting Free Passes kwa Anthu Ovuta.

Nanga bwanji ngati chisangalalo chimangodalira omwe ali m'chipinda chotsatira kapena gawo lanyumba? Pitilizani kuwerenga.

Chitani chitsanzo chosintha chomwe mukufuna kuwona. Mahatma Ghandi adati, "Uyenera kukhala kusintha komwe ukufuna kuwona mdziko lapansi." Inde, ngati takumana ndi zovuta, tikhoza kulimbikitsa ena panthawiyi. Zachidziwikire, ngati tizingotsika pang'ono ndikuchita bwino, chiyembekezo chimakhalabe chowala pang'ono.

Chitani zabwino. Ganizirani za chiwonetsero chazabwino pamalingaliro olakwika omwe amapangidwa, kaya kunyumba, kusukulu, kuntchito, kapena pakati pa abwenzi.

Zimatengera mphamvu yocheperako kapena yocheperako kuti mumve kumwetulira kapena kuyankha mwachidwi kuposa momwe zimakhalira kupuma, kukwiyitsa, kapena kupereka mawu achipongwe. Fred Rogers mwina ananena izi motere: “Pali njira zitatu zopambana. Njira yoyamba ndiyo kukhala okoma mtima. Njira yachiwiri ndiyo kukhala okoma mtima. Njira yachitatu ndiyo kukhala wokoma mtima. ”

Osangotenga zinthu panokha. Onaninso izi ndi zina zopotoza kuzindikira, monga kulingalira, malingaliro akuda ndi oyera, kuwonjezerapo, kuwerenga malingaliro a ena, kuneneratu zamtsogolo, ndikupangitsa zinthu kukhala zoopsa.

Mukufuna thandizo kuti mugwire ntchito ndi malingaliro ndikuzindikira zikhulupiliro zopanda nzeru? Funsani thandizo kudzera mu pulogalamu yothandizira ogwira ntchito (EAP) ndi / kapena magawo angapo ndi mlangizi wamaganizidwe omwe amagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso-machitidwe othandizira (CBT).

Khalani olunjika. Pewani kupanga zing'onozing'ono. Mtunda woyandikira kwambiri pakati pa mfundo ziwiri ndi mzere wolunjika.

Muli ndi choti munene kwa munthu wina? Ganizirani za mzere. Mzerewu ukagwedezeka, umafanana ndi anthu awiri omwe sakumvana mbali zonse ziwiri.

Ngati titapakira katundu kwa winawake - kupanga kachetechete - kupumula kwathu kwakanthawi ndichoncho. Zosakhalitsa.

Lankhulani mwaulemu ndipo phunzirani momwe mungayambitsire zokambirana ndi munthu amene mukufunadi kuti mulankhule naye.

Chotsani zodetsa nkhawa. M'mabuku omwe ndalemba nawo, pali magawo anayi a mkwiyo: kumangirira, mphamvu, kuphulika, kuphulika (kapena zonse ziwiri), ndi gawo loyera. ²

Monga ndikufotokozera makasitomala, ngati titha kuthira soda pansi, kodi tingawasiye pamenepo? Ayi, chifukwa zitha kudetsa, kukopa nsikidzi, ndikupangitsa kugwa, mwanjira ina, kumakhala chisokonezo.

Koma nthawi zambiri anthu amasiya mkwiyo, zomata paliponse pomwe zikuchitika popanda kuwatsuka kapena kuwathetsa. Ndizofanana ndi miyala yamiyala, yomwe tikudziwa kuti isinthanso ubale, popita nthawi.

Mtima pansi. Gwiritsani ntchito maimelo. Pewani zonena za "inu" ndi mafunso "chifukwa" chifukwa amayamba kudziteteza.

Osadulidwa kwa okondedwa anu. Kutha kuwona, kunja kwa malingaliro, chabwino? Cholakwika. Mabanja amatiphunzitsa kuti cutoff, imodzi mwazinthu zisanu ndi zitatu za malingaliro a Bowen, imayendetsa nkhawa zambiri kuposa momwe zimakhalira. ³

Kudula mtima ndi njira yodziyesera yokhayokha, koma izi zimakhala ndi mayankho kwakanthawi kwakanthawi kothandizirana mtsogolo, ngakhale mibadwo, chifukwa kuda nkhawa sikungatengeke. Kuda nkhawa kwakanthawi kumachulukirachulukira.

Iwo omwe adadula amayang'ana ena kuti akwaniritse zosowa zawo zolumikizira. Ubwenziwo ukakhala wovuta, makamaka ngati anthu sachita kudzikonza okha, mavuto omwewo amayamba.

Copyright @ 2020 wolemba Loriann Oberlin. Maumwini onse ndi otetezedwa.

Gawo Loyamba ku Buloguyi:

https://tinyurl.com/Keeping-Spirits-High

Ma Blogs Ena Ofanana:

https://tinyurl.com/Free-Pass-Misery

https://tinyurl.com/Sabotaged-Romance

https://tinyurl.com/Mary-Trump-Revelations

2. Murphy, T. ndi Oberlin, L. (2016). Kuthetsa Kuvutikira Kwaukali: Momwe Mungaletse Mkwiyo Wobisika Kuti Ungawononge Maubwenzi Anu, Ntchito Yanu ndi Chimwemwe. Boston: DaCapo Press.

3. Gilbert, R. (2018). Malingaliro Eyiti a Chiphunzitso cha Bowen. Lake Frederick, VA: Makina Oyang'anira Makina.