Kodi Kukumana Kwanthawi Yonse Kumadzetsa Ubale Wofunika Kwambiri?

Zamkati

• Mfundo zazikuluzikulu
• Njira Yopita Ku Chikondi
• Kodi Kuyanjana Kumatanthauza Kuchezera?
• Kuyankhula Pokambirana M'malo Mokumana Ndi Zosavuta

Mfundo zazikuluzikulu

• Ophunzira ambiri aku koleji akuyembekeza kuti kulumikizana kumabweretsa chibwenzi kapena kudzalumikizananso mtsogolo, kafukufuku akuwonetsa.
• Olosera zamtsogolo zamalumikizidwe mtsogolo kapena ubale ndikudziwana ndi mnzanu komanso kukhala ndi malingaliro abwino mutalumikizidwa.
• Ngakhale pali malingaliro olakwika, achinyamata ambiri amafunafuna ubale wabwino womwe umayamba chifukwa chocheza m'malo mokhala pachibwenzi.

Achinyamata omwe ali pachibwenzi nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi malingaliro akuti amafunafuna anzawo oti agonane nawo. Koma uku ndikulongosola koyenera? Chowonadi ndichakuti achinyamata ambiri alibe chidwi chokhala pachibwenzi chopanda tanthauzo, koma kutengapo gawo. Zachidziwikire, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti ngakhale masiku ano, pakati pazinthu zingapo zapaubwenzi pa intaneti komanso kutali, achinyamata ambiri amawona kukumana kwanthawi yayitali ngati njira yokhazikika.

Njira Yopita Ku Chikondi

Anthu achikulire amatha kukumbukira chikhalidwe chosiyana cha zibwenzi. Palibe amene amafunafuna tsiku kuchokera kuchipinda chawo chogona pogwiritsa ntchito kompyuta, komabe mwanjira imodzi ma single adakwanitsa kusakaniza ndikusakanikirana. Chifukwa chake, kupatula njirayo, nanga bwanji zolinga? Kodi anali osiyana ndi lero?

Heather Hensman Kettrey ndi Aubrey D. Johnson adasanthula nkhaniyi mu chidutswa chotchedwa "Hooking up and Pairing off" (2020). [I] Adapeza kuti ndizosiyana ndi zomwe atolankhani odziwika akuti "chikhalidwe chaku koleji" chathetsa chikondi , kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti ophunzira ambiri aku koleji amawona "hookups" ngati njira yopita ku chibwenzi - ngakhale kuti ndi zochepa zochepa zomwe zimapangitsa izi.

Kodi Kuyanjana Kumatanthauza Kuchezera?

Kettrey ndi Johnson adazindikira kuti mawu oti "kulumikizana" ndiwopanda tanthauzo komanso osamveka bwino, omwe achinyamata amagwiritsidwa ntchito kutanthauzira kukumana kosiyanasiyana kofananira. Ponena za "othandizana nawo," amawona kuti zolumikizana zimatha kuchitika pakati pa omwe kale anali malawi, abwenzi, kapena anzawo. Komabe, akuwona kuti zolumikizana ndizotheka kwambiri kuphatikizira odziwa anzawo kuposa alendo.

Kettrey ndi Johnson akufotokoza kuti ngakhale achichepere ena amangokhalira kufunafuna chibwenzi chopanda "zingwe," ambiri akuyembekeza kuti awiriwa atha kudzipereka kapena kudzalumikizana nawo mtsogolo. M'malo mwake, amazindikira kuti ophunzira aku koleji omwe sakhulupirira kuti zolumikizana zitha kubweretsa maubwenzi sangayanjane pomwepo.

Mwa zomwe Kettrey ndi Johnson adasanthula, kuphatikiza kuchuluka kwa anzawo, kusintha kwa momwe zinthu zilili, momwe amakhalira, komanso momwe akumvera pambuyo pake, adapeza kuti mayankho omwe adalumikizidwa pambuyo pake anali olumikizidwa kwambiri ndi chidwi chamtsogolo, komanso chidwi cha ubale. Amazindikira kuti zomwe apeza zikusonyeza kuti azolowerana ndi mnzake ndikukhala ndi malingaliro abwino pambuyo pake ndiye olosera zamtsogolo.

Ngakhale ndizofala, komabe, machitidwe olumikizana ndi anthu nthawi zambiri amabisidwa. Kettrey ndi Johnson adazindikira kuti anyamata ndi atsikana akhoza kuweruzidwa kapena kunyozedwa chifukwa chazomwe amachita, kaya zenizeni kapena zowonekera. Amawona kuti azimayi amatha kuweruzidwa molakwika pankhaniyi.

Kuyankhula Pokambirana M'malo Mokumana Ndi Zosavuta

Ngakhale pali malingaliro okhudzana ndi zibwenzi za achinyamata, chowonadi ndichakuti achinyamata ambiri amafunafuna maubwenzi abwino achikondi ndi ulemu zomwe zimayamba chifukwa chakukumana ndi kukambirana kopindulitsa, m'malo momangokhalira kukondana. Poganizira kuchuluka kwa chidwi chofunafuna maubwenzi apamtima, zikuwonekeratu kuti kuwunika kotereku ndikotheka, ndipo nthawi zambiri kumakhala kotheka, osagonana. Ndipo mosiyana ndi zowona kuti zolakwika zambiri zimakhudzana ndi kumwa mowa kapena zakumwa zina zoledzeretsa, zomwe zimakhudzana ndi machitidwe owopsa komanso nthawi zina owopsa, maubwenzi abwino amayamba ndi zokambirana zolimbikitsa osati zinthu zosintha malingaliro.

Ponena za thanzi lam'maganizo, Kettrey ndi Johnson adazindikira kuti ngakhale achinyamata nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndikumangokhalira kulumikizana, azimayi amakhala ndi mwayi wambiri kuposa amuna pakumva kukhumudwa komanso kukhumudwa. Kusankha mwanzeru, moganizira momwe (komanso zochuluka motani) kuchitira ndi anzanu omwe mumacheza nawo kungalepheretse kuweruza komwe kumatha kuchitika akadamwa, ndipo mosakayikira kumabweretsa chisangalalo, chisoni, kapena kukhumudwa.

Kudziwana ndi omwe angakhale mabwenzi anu mwachisawawa, kucheza nawo ndi njira imodzi yabwino kwambiri yopangira umagwirira, kulimbikitsa kulumikizana pakati pa anthu, komanso kulosera za ubale wabwino.

Chithunzi cha Facebook: Jacob Lund / Shutterstock