Kodi Tili ndi "Moyo Weniweni"?

Zamkati

• Mfundo zazikuluzikulu
• Kodi Kutsimikizika Ndi Chiyani?
• "Weniweni Weniweni" Palibe

Mfundo zazikuluzikulu

• "Wowona yekha" ndi malingaliro omwe amatitsogolera pamakhalidwe athu.
• Kuchita zinthu mopitilira muyeso kumalumikizidwa ndi malingaliro owona, ngakhale olowerera.
• Nthawi zambiri anthu amabisa zomwe akwanitsa kuchita kuti agwirizane ndi ena.

Kodi kukhala wowona kumatanthauza chiyani?

Pokambirana ndi Joe Rogan, wolemba kwambiri David Goggins adawulula mantha ake akulu.

Goggins anali ndiubwana wowopsa, adakula kukhala wonenepa kwambiri, ndipo adakumana ndi zovuta zambiri ali mwana. Kenako adakhala Navy SEAL, othamanga othamanga kwambiri, komanso wokamba nkhani wokakamiza.

Goggins adanena kuti mantha ake akulu anali kufa ndipo Mulungu (kapena aliyense amene Mulungu wamupatsa ntchitoyi) amamuwonetsa bolodi lomwe lili ndi mndandanda wazokwaniritsa: thupi lokwanira, Navy SEAL, wogwirizira zolemba, wolankhula wolimbikitsa yemwe amathandiza ena, ndi ena. amaganiza kuti "si ine ayi." Ndipo Mulungu akuyankha, "Ndiomwe umayenera kukhala."

Kodi Kutsimikizika Ndi Chiyani?

Katswiri wodziwika bwino wamaganizidwe a Roy Baumeister alemba pepala lochititsa chidwi lonena za "munthu weniweni" komanso zowona. Akuti kumverera kotsimikizika kumachokera ngati tikuchita mogwirizana ndi mbiri yomwe tikufuna.

Mwanjira ina, anthu amadzimva kuti ndi ogwirizana ndi zenizeni zawo akakwaniritsa chithunzi chomwe akufuna. Kulephera kuchikwaniritsa, kapena kutaya icho, kudzamveka kocheperako.

Anthu akagwidwa akuchita manyazi, anthu amanena zinthu monga, "Sindiye kuti sindine ayi" kapena "Sanali ine kwenikweni."

Akutanthauza kuti machitidwe owononga mbiri sakuwonetsera zenizeni zawo. Izi sizitanthauza kuti akunama. Anthu ambiri amakhulupiriradi kuti zochita zawo zochititsa manyazi sizisonyeza omwe ali pansi pamtima.

Baumeister akulemba kuti, "Ngati cholinga chachikulu cha thupi ndikuphatikiza thupi lanyama (kuti likhale ndi moyo ndi kuberekana), ndiye kuti kukhala ndi mbiri yabwino ndichofunika kwambiri, ndipo munthu akapambana, ngakhale kwakanthawi, padzakhala andilandire bwino 'ndiye ine!' ”

Amatanthauza chilichonse chomwe tingachite chomwe chimasunga kapena kukulitsa mbiri yathu chidzatipatsa chisangalalo pang'ono. Timayanjanitsa zakumverazi ndi zowona.

Monga katswiri wa zamaganizidwe a Geoffrey Miller ananenera, zizolowezi sizimangobwera chifukwa choti zimamveka bwino. Kumva kuti kusinthika kwabwino kumalimbikitsa khalidweli, lomwe mwina limapindulitsa. Chisangalalo chabwino chiripo kuti chitipangitse ife kuchita zambiri za mikhalidwe yopindulitsa imeneyi.

Baumeister alemba kuti, "Chimodzi mwazinthu zovutitsa zomwe akatswiri ofufuza adachita ndikuti omwe adachita nawo kafukufuku waku America, kuphatikiza oyambitsa, nthawi zambiri amadzimva kuti akuchita zenizeni kuposa zomwe adachita. Amereka ndi anthu opitilira muyeso, komabe, ndizokhumudwitsa kuti ngakhale olowetsa m'malo amadzimva kuti akuchita zowona. ”

Zowonadi, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti anthu amafotokoza kuti amadzimva kuti ndiowona zenizeni atakhala ndi machitidwe owonjezera, osamala, okhazikika pamalingaliro, komanso aluntha. Mosasamala za umunthu wawo weniweni.

Kuyika mosiyana, anthu amakonda kumva kuti ndiowona mtima akamachita zinthu zokomera anthu, m'malo mongotsatira zofuna zawo.

Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, kafukufuku wina akuwonetsa kuti malingaliro a kutsimikizika ndi moyo wathanzi amakhala apamwamba anthu akamatsatira zomwe zakhudzidwa m'malo mokaniza. Kupita limodzi ndi ena kumalumikizidwanso ndikukhala ndi mphamvu zambiri komanso kudzidalira.

Mutha kuganiza kuti zenizeni zenizeni zitha kuwonekera kwambiri anthu akamanyoza zikhalidwe. Koma anthu amadziona kuti ndiowona kwa iwo eni akamachita zinthu motengera chikhalidwe chawo.

Kotero kodi umunthu wathu weniweni ndi nkhosa yomwe imayenda limodzi ndi zomwe anthu akutizungulira akuchita?

"Weniweni Weniweni" Palibe

Baumeister akuwonetsa kuti zenizeni sizinthu zenizeni. Ndi lingaliro komanso labwino.

Umunthu weniweniwo ndi momwe timaganizira kuti tingakhale. Tikamachita mogwirizana ndi malingaliro amenewo, timaganiza kuti "Ndine amene." Tikasochera, timaganiza "si ine ayi."

Lingaliro lofananirali lakambidwa ndi wama psychologist komanso wofufuza zaubwenzi Eli Finkel. Amalankhula za chodabwitsa cha Michelangelo. Finkel analemba kuti: “M'malingaliro a Michelangelo, David anali m'matanthwe asanayambe kusema.”

Lingaliro ndiloti m'mabanja athanzi, munthu aliyense amadzizindikiritsa mnzake yemwe ali wabwino, ndipo amathandizana wina ndi mnzake kukhala otsogola kwambiri.

Koma lingaliro la Baumeister ndikuti tili ndi malingaliro athu athu enieni (omwe timakhulupirira kuti ndi athu enieni) ndipo timadzimva kuti ndife ovomerezeka tikamayandikira kwambiri.

Zomwe anthu amaganiza monga momwe alili ndi mtundu wawo womwe uli ndi mbiri yabwino. Makhalidwe abwino omwe amachititsa chidwi kwa anzawo omwe amawalemekeza. Akayandikira pafupi ndi malingalirowo, amasangalala. Ndipo lipoti kumverera lodalirika.

Chakumapeto kwa nkhaniyi, a Baumeister alemba kuti, "anthu amafotokoza kuti amakhala odalirika makamaka akamachita zinthu zokomera anthu ena, m'njira zabwino, motsutsana ndi kunena kuti, zogwirizana ndi chikhalidwe chawo chenicheni, njerewere ndi zina zonse."

Lingaliro ili limathandiza kuthetsa vuto lina m'moyo wamagulu.

M'nyuzipepala yotchedwa "Kudzipereka pantchito yolumikizana: Kubisa zinsinsi za anzako," ofufuza adapeza kuti anthu nthawi zambiri amabisira zomwe ena achita bwino kuti agwirizane ndi gululi.

Ofufuzawa adalemba kuti, "ngakhale kuti amabisala kuti azidziwika kuti ndi olondola kapena ayi, anthuwo amawona kuti kubisalako ndi koyenera chifukwa kumachepetsa chiwopsezo kwa iwo eni, komanso kwa ena."

Nthawi zambiri anthu amagawana zomwe ali nazo ndi ena. Koma sangabise zambiri zomwe zikuwulula kuti ali ndi udindo wapamwamba.

Ofufuzawo akuti anthu amachita izi kuti achepetse kuopseza pakati pawo. Kuyanjana bwino ndi ena.

Zomwe ndizosamvetseka. Mutha kuganiza kuti anthu angafune:

1. Fotokozerani zambiri zokulitsa mbiri yawo
2. Khalani owona pogawana zowona mtima

Koma njira ina yowonera kubisala kwawo ndikuti anthu amaika patsogolo kukhala bwino ndi ena. Anthu amatsogoleredwa ndi zomwe amakonda. Kudzikonda komwe kumakondedwa ndi ena. Chifukwa chake amayesetsa kuti asadzitamande kwambiri pazomwe achita.