Kodi Kukalamba Kumakhudzadi Ubwenzi?

Zamkati

• Mfundo zazikuluzikulu
• Zaka Sizofanana Ndi Zina Zina
• Kusiyana Kwa Zakale Kumatha Kupangitsa Anthu Kukhala Omangika
• Zokonda Za M'badwo Zimaphatikizidwa mu Psychology Yathu Yokwatirana
• Kusiyanitsa kwa Zaka "Zabwino" ndi Malangizo (Amuna Okalamba) Atha Kuwonetsa Zotsatira Zaumoyo
• Ubale Ofunika Amawerengedwa
• Momwe Kugwiritsa Ntchito Zolaula Kwa Akazi Kumakhudzira Maubwenzi

Mfundo zazikuluzikulu

• Maubwenzi apakati, omwe nthawi zambiri amatchedwa ubale wa Meyi-Disembala, amakumana ndi zovuta zapadera.
• Mabanja ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala ndi zaka pafupifupi zitatu, kafukufuku akuwonetsa.
• Evolutionary psychology imalongosola chifukwa chake amuna nthawi zambiri amakhala achikulire muubwenzi wogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Zaka ndi nambala chabe, sichoncho?

Kwa mabanja ena achikondi, mwamtheradi. Samaganizira za msinkhu wawo ngati chinthu chofananira nawo. Zachidziwikire, maanjawa amakonda kukhala pafupi zaka. Kusiyanitsa pang'ono pamsinkhu, makamaka amuna akamakula, sikumangotanganitsa maanja akamakula.

Kwa mabanja ena, komabe, msinkhu ndi zambiri kuposa nambala. Ubale wa "zaka zakubadwa" izi, womwe nthawi zina umatchedwa ubale wa "Meyi-Disembala", uli ndi munthu m'modzi yemwe ndi wamkulu kwambiri kuposa mnzake. Pakakhala kusiyana kwakanthawi pakati pa abwenzi, zaka zimasanduka nkhani yayikulu, nthawi zina amatenga gawo laubwenzi.

Zaka Sizofanana Ndi Zina Zina

Mudamvapo lingaliro loti "mbalame za nthenga zimawuthira pamodzi"? Izi ndizowona pankhani zachikondi. Anthu amakondana ndi ena omwe ali ofanana nawo pamitundu yonse. Mbiri yamaphunziro, malingaliro, malingaliro andale, mtundu ndi mafuko, zosangalatsa, mungazitchule. Komabe, mwamphamvu monga momwe izi zingakhalire, zaka zimasinthasintha. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti maanja ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala osiyana zaka pafupifupi zitatu ndipo amuna amakhala achikulire (Buss, 1989; Conroy-Beam, 2019).

Kusiyana kwa zaka zitatu kumakhala ndi chipinda china msinkhu usanakwane. Kukula kwa kusiyana kwa msinkhu, ogwirizana kwambiri, komanso anthu, atha kuzindikira.

Kusiyana Kwa Zakale Kumatha Kupangitsa Anthu Kukhala Omangika

Mipata ya msinkhu pakati pa abwenzi ikhoza kupanga kudzidalira za ubale wa munthu, nkhawa kuti ubalewo sungagwire ntchito, komanso kukhudzika kwa malingaliro a ena pazoyenera kukhala pachibwenzi. Zikatero, mipata yazaka zimawonekera; zoonekeratu. Utali wazaka 15, utali wazaka 25. Malinga ndi Today Show, Katharine McPhee samayembekezera zabwino zomwe anthu angachite paubwenzi wake ndi David Foster, yemwe ali wamkulu zaka 35; George Clooney adavomerezanso Howard Stern kuti sakuganiza kuti mkazi wake wamakono Amal angamukondwere chifukwa ali wamkulu zaka 17.

Kuyankha kolakwika kwa anthu pamaubwenzi apakati pazaka kumatha kuwonetsa kukana kwa anthu ku ubale wopanda chilungamo, wosayenerera. Umboni ukusonyeza kuti tsankho lomwe limakhudzana ndi ubale wazaka zakubadwa limawerengedwa ndi chikhulupiliro chakuti munthu m'modzi (wachikulire) akututa zabwino zambiri kuchokera pachibwenzi kuposa mnzake (Collisson & De Leon, 2018). Mwina owonerera samayanjana ndi ubale wa Meyi-Disembala chifukwa amamva ngati kuti wamkuluyo amapezera mwayi wachichepereyo.

Zokonda Za M'badwo Zimaphatikizidwa mu Psychology Yathu Yokwatirana

Momwe timaganizira za ukalamba muubwenzi wachikondi sizongoponderezana: M'malo mwake, ndichofunikira kwambiri pakupanga momwe timayendera maubwenzi, malinga ndi psychology yosinthika.

Evolutionary psychology imachokera pamalingaliro akuti malingaliro amunthu asintha njira zosinthira zothandizira kubereka ndi kupulumuka (Buss, 2016). Momwemonso, makolo, amayi amapindula mwa kufunafuna amuna omwe ali ndi udindo komanso zofunikira zothandizira kulera ana komanso kufunitsitsa kutero. Makhalidwe amenewa amamangidwa ndi amuna achikulire. Amuna, padakali pano, asintha kukonda akazi achichepere chifukwa unyamata wawo ndi chizindikiro cha kubereka, ndipo kuposa maon ndi ana, amuna amakhala ndi mwayi wobereka bwino akamagwirizana ndi azimayi omwe angathe kubereka.

Izi zikufotokozera chifukwa chomwe akazi amakonda ndikukwatiwa ndi amuna achikulire pang'ono, komanso chifukwa chake amuna amakonda kukwatirana ndi atsikana ocheperako (ndi msinkhuwu ukuwonjezeka akamakula). Maubwenzi akuluakulu azaka zambiri, chifukwa chake, nthawi zambiri amawonetsa zomwe amuna amasintha kwa akazi achichepere, achonde komanso akazi amasintha zomwe amakonda amuna achikulire, apamwamba.

Kusiyanitsa kwa Zaka "Zabwino" ndi Malangizo (Amuna Okalamba) Atha Kuwonetsa Zotsatira Zaumoyo

Ngakhale amuna amakonda kukhala ocheperako pang'ono, tonsefe timadziwa maanja osiyanasiyana osiyana siyana komwe kusiyanasiyana sikungokhala kokulirapo komanso kumatsutsana ndizomwe zimayembekezeredwa ndi psychology yosintha. Mwanjira ina, timadziwa maanja omwe azimayi amakhala achikulire kwambiri kuposa anzawo. Talingalirani za Nick Jonas ndi Priyanka Chopra, yemwe ndi wamkulu zaka 10, mkazi wa Hugh Jackman a Deborra-Lee Furness yemwe ali wamkulu kuposa iye zaka 13, kapena bwenzi lamakono la Madonna yemwe ali wocheperako zaka 35.

Zodabwitsa, akazi chitani Amakonda kukhala achikulire kuposa anzawo pakati pa mabanja achichepere kwambiri, zomwe zimasinthiratu pazaka zapakati pazakale (Pelham, 2021). Kuyang'ana zidziwitso zakubadwa ku US, mwa mabanja ochepera zaka 25, abambo amakhala ocheperako pang'ono kuposa amayi. Kusiyana kwa msinkhuwu kumasintha msanga m'magulu okalamba, amuna ali ndi zaka zoyambira 40, komanso koyambirira ndi pakati pa 50, kukhala ndi ana ndi akazi azaka zapakati pa 30s (zomwe ndioposa zaka 20 kuposa iwo okalamba gulu).

Ubale Ofunika Amawerengedwa

Momwe Kugwiritsa Ntchito Zolaula Kwa Akazi Kumakhudzira Maubwenzi