Musaganize Kuti Mutha Kuthetsa Maubwenzi Amabanja Ovuta?

Maholide ndi nthawi yachisangalalo ndi yolumikizana; kukumbukira ndi banja pazokumbukira zamtengo wapatali ndikupanga zokumana nazo zatsopano limodzi. Matchuthi amakhalanso nthawi yamavuto komanso mikangano yomwe ingachitike m'mabanja omwe ali ndi vuto lolumikizana ngati kulumikizanako kwaphwanyidwa mwanjira iliyonse. Anthu omwe akukumana ndi makolo olakwitsa, omwe amadziwikanso kuti zochitika zosakhala za makolo (NPE), amamvetsetsa kuti kuphwanya malamulo ndi zovuta zomwe zimapangidwa ndimphamvu zamabanja. Nawa malingaliro awiri oti athane ndi zokambirana pabanja komanso kulumikizana patchuthi ndi kupitirira: kusiyanitsa zenizeni ndi zotengeka, ndikubwera ndi pulani.

Tiyeni tigwiritse ntchito chitsanzo cha Jane wongopeka, yemwe adazindikira kuti ali ndi abambo ena kuposa omwe adaleredwa kuti akhulupirire, zomwe zidamuthandiza kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe amadzimvera wosiyana kwambiri ndi mbali yam'banjayo. Kupeza kumeneku sikunakonze mphamvu ndi mbali imeneyo ya banja la Jane - inde, mwina zidakuipiraipira. Jane akupeza kuti akukakamira kupita Kuthokoza chaka chino chifukwa abambo ake amamuchitira mphwayi pomwe sanyoze kulimbana kwake. Amatha kunena zinthu monga, "Sindikumvetsa chifukwa chake umayenera kuchita izi ?! Bwanji ukufunika kudziwa izi ndikutipweteka tonsefe?! ” Wina atha kumufunsa kuti asalankhulenso za izi, kapena kusunga chinsinsi, kupititsa patsogolo vutoli.

Mfundo Zosiyana ndi Zotengeka

Ndikuganiza kuti malo abwino kuyamba ndi vuto lililonse ndikoyambira, kuzindikira zifukwa zomwe zilipo, zomwe zimafunikira luntha. Kulekanitsa mfundo ndi kutengeka kumatanthauza kuzindikira komwe kuli zosokonekera, ndipo njira yabwino kwambiri yomwe ndatsimikizira kuti izi zimachitika ndikulemba. Tikasunga kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe athu m'maso mwathu, amakhala osazindikira - zosokoneza zenizeni. Zotulutsidwazo ndiye zimakhala maziko a malingaliro athu, zomwe zimatsogolera ku kulingalira kozama; Lamulo la chala chachikulu likuganiza kuti timachita zambiri kuti timve zambiri kapena zosadziwika.

Ganizirani za ntchito yomwe simumakonda. Mwinanso simukuzikonda chifukwa mumaona kuti ndi ntchito yayikulu, kutenga nthawi yotopetsa komanso kuganiza mozama pazinthu zomwe mwina simungamvetse koma zomwe mumayembekezera zoyipa. Kuzengereza ndi kupewa ndizizindikiro zomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito kulingalira zakukhulupirira kuti ndizovuta kapena zovuta, ndipo sizosiyana ndi momwe timakhalira ndi zovuta za mabanja kapena zosafunikira.

Musanapite kumsonkhano wotsatira wabanja, kapena kukambirana pafoni ndi banja, tulutsani cholembera ndi pepala kuti mudziwe zenizeni komanso zomwe zikumveka. Kulemba izi m'magawo awiri ndikulimbitsa thupi pakupanga zopotoza kukhala konkriti. Lolani kuti mudzichotsere nokha ngati mukuyenera kumverera mwanjira ina kapena ayi. Ingololani kuti iziyenda.

Changu chimodzi chothandizira kuti muyambe kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndikuyamba ndi funso "bwanji?" Kodi ndichifukwa chiyani banja la Jane limagwiritsa ntchito ma microaggressions ndikumamuchitira mosiyana? Yankho nlakuti, sizikugwirizana ndi Jane. Khalidwe ili ndi gawo lazikhalidwe zomwe banja lake lidaphunzitsidwa nthawi yomwe adaleredwa; chikhalidwe ndi chipembedzo zomwe zimawapanga ndikuwapatsa m'badwo. Zilibe kanthu kuti Jane ndi ndani kapena adapeza chiyani, chifukwa aliyense amene angachite zosemphana ndi zomwezo amalandiranso zomwezo poyesa kubwezera pazoyambira. Jane akazindikira kuti si vuto lake kwa iye, amatha kupita kuzinthu zomwe zimakhudzidwa.

M'magulu azomvera, Jane atha kulemba kuti akumva kukwiya, wachisoni komanso kudziteteza chifukwa chamakhalidwe awo. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kusiyana pakati pa zowona ndi zakumverera ngakhale kuti zimatha kuyambitsa zinazo. Kupitilira apo, Jane amatha kuwona zikhulupiliro zoyambira mkati mwazaka - zosakondedwa, zosafunikira kapena zosafunikira - kuti amvetsetse bwino.

Tikakhumudwa, nthawi zambiri timanyalanyaza malingaliro amnzathu chifukwa chodziteteza kapena chilungamo. Maganizo awo amatsimikizira zifukwa zawo, monga momwe zimakhalira ndi Jane.Chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano ndi mantha, mwina chomwe chimalimbikitsa kwambiri anthu. Kuopa kusakhazikika komanso kutayidwa pagulu kumapangitsa kuti banja lizigwiritsa ntchito mkwiyo kuti lithandizire kutsatira.

Kupanga Dongosolo

Kukhala wokonzekera china chake kumathandizira kwambiri kuthana nacho. Pofuna kukhala wokonzekera kuthekera kopulumuka panja, Jane amatha kukonzekera misonkhano yamabanja pokonzekera mayankho ake pamavuto omwe angakhalepo ngati tchati. Nthawi zambiri amagwiritsidwa ntchito mu bizinesi kupanga zisankho mwakuwonetseratu, itha kugwiritsidwanso ntchito ngati chida chothandizira kukonza zokambirana ndi malire.

Mwa chitsanzo cha Jane, amatha kulemba ndemanga zomwe akuyembekezerazo ndikuwonetsa momwe amayembekezera kuchokera kwa iwo kenako kulingalira mayankho kutengera zolinga zomwe ali nazo. Mwachitsanzo, chimodzi mwazolinga za Jane zitha kukhala kudziyimira pawokha moyenera kapena kutenga machitidwe awo pang'ono (popeza sizokhudza iye mulimonsemo). Kutengera zolingazi, Jane atha kupanga mayankho omwe azikidwa pakumvetsetsa kwake kuti banja likuwopsezedwa koma kuti siudindo wake kuwapulumutsa kuzolakwitsa zomwe mbadwo wawo udachita popitiliza kusunga chinsinsi.

Jane atha kuchotsa chitetezo m'mayankho ake polimbikitsa kudzipereka. Amatha kuloweza mayankho a mawu ndi mawu kuti achite-zankhanza kapena kutanthauza ndemanga zomwe zimathandizira cholinga chake cha malire. Njira yabwino yochitira izi ndikufunsa mafunso, monga, "Ndikukuwuzani kuti mukuwopsezedwa ndi zomwe ndapeza ndipo ndikufuna kudziwa zambiri chifukwa chomwe mukuwopsezedwachi - mukuwopa chiyani chomwe chingachitike tsopano ndikudziwa?" Kudzitchinjiriza kwatha pomwe Jane amatha kufunsa funsoli popanda yankho kuwongolera momwe akumvera. Mosasamala yankho lawo, amadziwa zomwe amafunikira, kuti ndi zoyenera kwa iye ndipo momwe akumvera sizikuwonetsa kufunikira kwake.

Aliyense amaloledwa kukhala ndi malingaliro ndipo izi zimapangitsa malingaliro a aliyense kukhala oyenera kwa iwo. Sitiyenera kukhala cholinga cha Jane kusintha momwe akumvera kapena malingaliro - zomwe sangathe. Komabe, Jane amatha kukhala ndi nkhawa zambiri ngati angakumbukire kulumikizana kulikonse kwazaka zambiri ndikuphatikiza izi pamlingo womwe amalemera zoyipa. Chizoloŵezi choyiwalika pakhala pali zokumana nazo zabwino zomwe zimapangitsa kuyanjana, komwe kumawononga kulingalira kwanzeru.

Ngati gawo lina la cholinga cha Jane ndikuti akhalebe ndi mabanja ngakhale pali zovuta zomwe wapeza, akuyenera kusankha malire ake. Mpaka pomwe amalekerera ndemanga zopanda tanthauzo komanso machitidwe osayanjanitsika asanafunse malire? Pamenepo, malire amatha kuwoneka ngati ochepera kulumikizana kapena kupewa mitu ina pokambirana. Zonsezi zitha kuwonjezeredwa pa tchati ngati ndiye kuti athandizire kuwongolera mayankho ake ndikupanga mphamvu pazomwe Jane sanamvepo kuti anali ndi bungwe. Anthu akutsimikizirani kuti ndinu ndani ngati mukufuna kumvera. Chifukwa chake banja la Jane litha kuwonetsa kuti sangathe kapena sakufuna kulemekeza malire ake ndipo vutoli litsogolera mayankho atsopano kuchokera kwa Jane potengera zomwe adalemba mu flowchart.

Kupyolera muzolemba, aliyense atha kudziwa komwe akumva, zomwe zimayambitsa zomwe akumva komanso zomwe zimawakhudza. Izi zimalola kutalikirana ndi malingaliro omwe amatanthauzira kulumikizana kwabwino. Ndi tchati-ngati-ndiye, kukonzekera kwamachitidwe kumalola machitidwe olumikizana bwino kuti akwaniritse cholinga. Palibe amene ali ndi kuthekera kovulaza ngati banja, chifukwa palibe amene akuyenera kukhala ndi chidwi ndi thanzi lathu.