Kupeza Chimwemwe Chenicheni M'miyoyo Yathu Ya Mliri

Pomwe dziko lathu lidakhazikitsidwa, komanso kwa zaka zana kapena ziwiri zotsatira, sizinatengere zambiri kuti munthu akhale wosangalala: ufulu wopembedza momwe angafunire, kapena ayi; ufulu wonyamula zida zankhondo kuti adziteteze ku French ndi Britain - makamaka popeza kunalibe magulu ankhondo enieni; denga pamutu pawo, chakudya chodya, nkhuni moto; mwina ndalama zochepa zogulitsa zaluso zopangidwa mbali. Izi zomwe timazitenga lero sizinatanthauze chilichonse kwa omwe adayambitsa.

Lero, monga dzulo, tili okondwa pamene zosowa zathu ndizokwaniritsidwa. Koma kwa mamiliyoni aku America, zina mwazinthu zosavuta izi ndizosatheka kupeza. Chifukwa chiyani? Zowona zenizeni za mliri wa COVID-19. Tonsefe timatsutsidwa tsiku ndi tsiku kuti tipulumuke mavuto azachuma komanso azaumoyo. Komabe, zilibe kanthu momwe zinthu ziliri pakadali pano, tonsefe timayesetsa kufunafuna chisangalalo chakanthawi. Kwa ena, makamaka omwe ali pamavuto, atha kukhala chakudya chofunda kapena chovala chotsitsa cha m'nyengo yozizira. Kwa ena, kufunafuna kumeneku kwalumikizidwa ndi zomwe zitha kutchedwa "kudzikonda" kapena, mwamakhalidwe oyipa, nthabwala.

M'magulu athu oyendetsedwa ndi ogula, zimatengera zinthu zina zambiri, zinthu, mapulogalamu atsopano, kuti tisangalale. Koma kumverera kwachimwemwe kwakanthawi kotero timafuna kubwereza mobwerezabwereza. Khalidweli likukhala pakadali pano pakadali pano, hedonism wapano. Kwa anthu ambiri masiku ano, kufunafuna chisangalalo - ndi chisangalalo chomwecho - kwenikweni, ndi "kutenga." Kwa ena, izi sizabwino. Tikufuna kudziwa momwe tingapezere chisangalalo chenicheni.

Kufunafuna Tanthauzo

Zomwe tingapeze pakufunafuna kwathu chimwemwe chokonzekera ndikuti mwina tasiya "tanthauzo" m'miyoyo yathu. Malinga ndi wolemba Emily Esfahani Smith, "Nthawi yomwe anthu amafotokoza kuti akumva zabwino kapena zoyipa imakhudzana ndi chisangalalo koma osati ndi tanthauzo. Tanthauzo, kumbali inayo, likupirira. Imagwirizanitsa zakale ndi zamtsogolo. ”

Phunziro mu Zolemba pa Positive Psychology , ofufuza apeza kuti ngakhale zovuta zimatha kuchepa chisangalalo, chodabwitsa ndizakuti zimatha kukulitsa tanthauzo la moyo. Zochitika zomvetsa chisoni kapena zam'malingaliro zimatha kulimbikitsa chikhalidwe ndikutiphunzitsa maphunziro ovuta omwe amatipangitsa kukhala achifundo kwambiri ndikutipatsa kumvetsetsa kwakukulu kwa ife eni ndi ena. Kafukufukuyu akuwonetsanso kuti poyerekeza ndi anthu omwe analibe cholinga chilichonse chamoyo, anthu omwe adanena kuti ali ndi cholinga, mwanjira ina, zolinga zopindulitsa zomwe zimakhudzana ndi kuthandiza ena, adakwanitsa kukhutira ndi moyo wawo - ngakhale pomwe amamva panokha "pansi ndi kunja."

Ofufuzawa akuti, "Anthu omwe amaganiza kwambiri zamtsogolo anali achimwemwe, koma anthu omwe amathera nthawi yochuluka akuganizira zamtsogolo kapena zamavuto am'mbuyomu ndimavuto amamva tanthauzo m'miyoyo yawo, ngakhale panthawi yofufuza, anali osasangalala . ” Kukhala ndi cholinga m'miyoyo yathu, ndiko kukhala "wopereka." Kulimbana ndi chisoni, nkhanza, ndi zolephera zam'mbuyomu siziyenera kungodzetsa chisoni ndikusiya ntchito, koma kupirira, kuthetsa, komanso kukula kwadzidzidzi. Moyo watanthauzo umatsogolera ku chifundo chachikulu ndi kumvera ena chisoni. Tikukhulupirira zimachokera pakusintha kwathu kuchokera ku ego-centrism kupita ku socio-centrism.

Chimwemwe Chopindulitsa

Sitiyenera kukhala "otenga" kuti tikhale achimwemwe. Tonsefe timadziwa zabwino ndi zoipa, zabwino ndi zoipa. Izi ndizofunikira mwa ife, ngakhale tili ana. Ndipo mumtima mwathu, timadziwa tanthauzo lenileni la chisangalalo. Chimwemwe chimatha kubwera pakuwona kukongola kotizungulira, kapena kumveka kwa nyimbo zomwe timakonda kapena nyimbo ya mbalame, kapena kukoma kwa chakudya chotonthoza, kapena kukhudza kwa wokondedwa. Zinthu zazing’ono zimenezi zingatibweretsere chimwemwe; chimwemwe ndikumverera kwa chikondi - kukhala wokondedwa ndikupereka chikondi.

Timakhala osangalala wina akatipatsa ulemu, napereka chiyamikiro choyenera cha mawonekedwe athu, kapena zomwe tinachita kapena kunena. Komanso kulipira patsogolo mwa kupereka mayamiko kwa ena, powapangitsa kudzimva kukhala apadera, okondedwa, olemekezedwa. Tengani nthawi yodziwonetsera nokha; fufuzani komwe muli pano paulendo wa moyo wanu, ndipo mukufuna kupita kuti. Zakale zathu zidatipanga kukhala momwe tilili lero ndipo zitha kutitsogolera kwa munthu wabwino yemwe tikufuna kudzakhala mawa.

Kufuna Kusamala

M'nthawi yovuta kwambiri yomwe tikukhalayi, ndikofunikira kwambiri kuposa kale kuti tifotokozere onse omwe tikudziwa kuyamika kwawo chifukwa chaubwenzi komanso kukoma mtima kwawo. Ndipo, chofunikira kwambiri kuti tikhale ndi moyo wabwino, kufotokoza kukhululuka ndi kuvomereza kwa iwo omwe atipweteka mwanjira ina, ndikupempha mobwerezabwereza kukhululuka pazolakwa zathu ndi iwo.

Chitsanzo chakanthawi choperekera: Posachedwa, tamva nkhani za anthu omwe adapatsa makhadi aboma aposachedwa omwe adalandira ndikuwona kuti safunika kwa ena omwe akusowa thandizo, kaya mwa iwo kapena kudzera m'mabungwe monga mabanki azakudya kapena malo ogona. Opatsa awa akadatha kuyika ndalama kuboma ili mumaakaunti awo osungira kapena kugula china chosangalatsa. M'malo mwake, adazindikira kuti ena omwe, popanda cholakwa chawo, tsopano akuvutika - nthawi zina kwanthawi yoyamba m'miyoyo yawo - anali osowa. Ndipo kotero opereka awa adakakamizidwa kuti alipire patsogolo.

Inde, ndi nthawi yakutsuka malingaliro athu akale ndikuchita kuyambiranso moyo - mwamphamvu. Titha kusankha kupezeka okonda kudzikongoletsa, kapena titha kukhala opatsa mtsogolo posintha zofuna zathu zokha ndikunyada kopatsa konse. Titha kugwirira ntchito limodzi, achinyamata ndi achikulire, olemera ndi osauka, kuti apange tsogolo labwino.

Mwabwino lero, titha kugwira ntchito yopanga cholowa cha chiyembekezo ndi chikondi kudzera mukukula kwachisoni ndi kumvera ena chisoni, ngakhale kwa iwo omwe timawawona ngati osagwirizana. Tiyeni tiyambire limodzi. Tiyeni tiyambe tsopano.

Baumeister, RF, et al., (2013). Kusiyana Kwakukulu Pakati Pakati pa Moyo Wachimwemwe ndi Moyo Waphindu. San Francisco, CA / UK: Zolemba za Positive Psychology.