Kuchiritsa ndi Kulimbitsa Ubwenzi Wofunika

"Njira iliyonse yosinthira ndikuwonjezera chidziwitso ku dongosolo lomwe lidalipo kale. Chifukwa zili choncho, kuphatikiza, kuphatikiza, ndi magawano pakati pazidziwitso motsatizana zidzabweretsa mavuto ambiri pakupulumuka ndikudziwitsa mayendedwe ambiri akusintha."
-Gregory Bateson

Ubale wofunikira ndi njira, mgwirizano womwe umabala zipatso kudzera pakuphunzitsana. Ndiulendo wamachitidwe pomwe mphindi iliyonse nthawi imodzi imakhala gawo lazambiri. Caveat yofunikira yokhudzana ndi mgwirizanowu wopatulika ndikumvetsetsa momwe nkhani iliyonse ilili yosiyana ndikulephera zilembo. Palibe njira imodzi yofananira.

Kukambirana ndi komwe kumatikopa munjira zambiri . Ndipamene timasintha ndikusintha kudalira zomwe zili. Maubwenzi ofunikira ndi mgwirizano mukawonedwa kwathunthu, mwina sangakhale okhazikika, koma ngakhale atilole kuti tipewe kulingalira kwakanthawi kochepa ndi malingaliro kuti tithetse kusamvana. Ndikumvetsetsa uku, pali malo ochepa ogawanikana ndi kudzudzula popeza pali mwayi wopanda malire wofufuza ndikukondwerera.

Dongosolo ili, lomwe ndakhala ndikugwiritsa ntchito bwino kwazaka makumi atatu ndi zisanu zapitazi muzochita zanga za Couples Therapy zachokera pakuzindikira kuti timadalirana. “Zimatengera awiri kuti adziwe chimodzi.” Kuphunzira za ife tokha pokambirana ndi wina, kumatidziwitsa za zomwe tili nazo komanso zomwe tili nazo. Zimapanga "liminal" mwayi womwe akatswiri ofufuza za anthu amafotokoza kuti ndikufufuza malo atsopano kudzera pakubwezeretsanso komanso kusintha.

Kufuna kudzimvetsetsa tokha kudzera mu mphatso ya maubwenzi kumachokera ku cholowa cha momwe timasamalirira mikangano m'miyoyo yathu. Mikangano imatha kupanga zaluso ndipo ndi gawo laphindu lokongoletsa. Funsani waluso aliyense pazomwe zimalimbikitsa ntchito yawo.

Kupititsa patsogolo maubale athu, zimathandiza kudziwa momwe Mchitidwe Wathu Wamanjenje umagwirira ntchito, womwe uli ndi magawo awiri ofunikira ndipo umadziwika kuti Autonomic, (kutanthauza kuti umangodziyimira palokha). Pali mkhalidwe Wachifundo, womwe umatchedwa gawo lolimbana-kapena-kuthawa, ndipo pali gawo la Parasympathetic, lomwe ndi bata. Gawo lalikulu kwambiri la dongosolo lodabwitsali ndi Vagus Nerve yathu yotchedwa tanthauzo lachi Greek loti "kuyendayenda." Mitsempha yodabwitsa iyi ndiyowona ku dzina lake, kuyenda mthupi lathu lonse, kuyambira muubongo mpaka m'matumbo, kuwongolera kagayidwe kathu, kugunda kwa mtima komanso koposa zonse momwe timakhalira ndi moyo wabwino. Ndiwo mitsempha yomwe imawonekera ndi chifundo, ndipo mwatsoka ikasokonekera chifukwa chakusamvana komwe kumathetsedwa, imabweretsa mantha komanso kusatetezeka.

HPA Axis yathu ikayamba kugwira ntchito, (Hypothalamus Pituitary and Adrenal Glands, omwe ndi njira yathu yoyankhira kupsinjika) Hypothalamus imatulutsa corticotropin, yomwe imalumikizana ndi Pituitary Gland ndikutulutsa hormone ya Adrenocorticotropic kuti ikuthandizire kutulutsa kwa Adrenal Cortisol (mosadabwitsa Pituitary Gland ikhozanso kutulutsa Oxytocin, "cuddle hormone" anthu akagwirizana). Zonsezi zimapangitsa kuyankha kwathu pomenyera nkhondo kapena kuthawa komwe kumawopseza Vagus Nerve. Izi zimatipangitsa kukhala osowa tulo chifukwa magazi amathamangira pazowonjezera zathu kuti atifikitse ku chitetezo, osati nthawi yabwino yogwirira ntchito paubwenzi wathu.

Ngati tiwona ubale wathu ngati wowopseza kapena wotsutsa, tikuwasokoneza. Autonomic Nervous System siyimasiyanitsa pakati pa kutayika kwa wokondedwa kapena kusapeza malo oimikapo magalimoto. Potengera momwe zinthu zilili mdziko lathu komanso dziko lathu lapansi, zitha kukhala zopanda thanzi kupulumutsa moyo wathu maola 24 tsiku lililonse komanso mwanjira yodziyimira payokha m'malo mopanga mawonekedwe omwe angagwiritse ntchito kuthekera kwathu "kukumbatirana."

Kuwongolera Mchitidwe Wathu Wamanjenje mukakumana ndi mikangano mwachidziwikire ndichofunika kwambiri pothandiza kuyanjana. Kukhoza kuzindikira zomwe zimachitika kumathandizira kuphunzira mothandizana komwe kuli kofunika muubwenzi wabwino. Kudziwa izi kumatithandiza kuzindikira bwino zomwe tili ndi zomwe tili nazo kuti tisinthe, kusankha, ndikupanga kuchokera pazosankha zambiri zomwe zikutiyembekezera. Ndimagwiritsa ntchito njira zosiyanasiyana zochiritsira zomwe zimapangitsa kuti Nervous System, monga kusinkhasinkha, zowonera, Kufooketsa Tizilombo Toyambitsa Matenda, Qigong, Tai Chi, Aikido, Coherent Breathing kungotchulapo zochepa, zonsezi zimathandiza kupanga malo omwe angapezere mayankho olimbikitsa kulankhulana bwino. Izi mwa izo zokha, ndizojambula.

Tonsefe tili ndi nkhawa zathu zoyambirira komanso zokhumba munthawi yomweyo kuti tithandizire pamoyo wathu. Maziko oyambilira olimbikitsira ubale wabwino akudzipereka osati kosemphana ndi kuphunzira kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake. Iyi ndiye njira yokhayo yoyeserera kupanga zochitika zomwe zikhala zofanana. Kumvetsetsa kudalirana kwathu kumatengera mgwirizano womwe umavomereza miyambo, kusiyanasiyana, moyo ndi malingaliro adziko lapansi.

Kukhulupirika ndi chilungamo zikakhazikitsidwa ndikusamalidwa bwino, dongosolo lathu lamanjenje limagwira ntchito bwino ndikulimbitsa chitetezo chathu cha mthupi, zomwe zimapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kukhala ndi mgwirizano muzolumikizana zathu za tsiku ndi tsiku komanso kulumikizana. Titha kupanga cholumikizira tikalumikizanadi . Izi zikuphatikiza, makamaka maubale ofunika, njira mazana ambiri zopezera izi. Kuyambira bwenzi lapamtima paphewa lofuulira, kugawana nawo paki, kulumikizana kopanda tanthauzo komwe timakhumba, zonse zomwe zimabweretsa kuyandikira ndikupanga mawonekedwe otsogola a maola 24 omwe amatsogolera kuubwenzi wabwino.

Nazi zina mwa njira zachilengedwe zamayanjanidwe omwe ndaphunzira ndikugwiritsa ntchito pazaka mu Couples Therapy zomwe zingalimbitse ubale wanu.

1) Landirani kuti maubale onse, makamaka ofunikira, ndi njira yokwanira yomwe imadalira kudzipereka kosagwirizana kuti aliyense aphunzire wina ndi mnzake.

2) Kukhazikitsa ndi kusunga mphamvu ndi maudindo ofanana pokhudzana ndi kulemekezana.

3) Gwirizanitsani kulumikizana mosachita zachiwawa kutengera kulumikizana kwa win-win komwe kungapangitse kulumikizana kwachilengedwe, kwinaku mukutsata njira zopanda malire kuti mukhale aulemu komanso okondana.

4) Kondwerani mwayi wambiri wophunzitsana womwe ungapereke. Gwiritsani ntchito kusinthasintha, njira zoyenera zochiritsira ndikufufuza kuti mukhale opanga zokongoletsa.

5) Landirani kuti tonsefe ndife olakwika, tikhoza kusintha mwa kuphunzira kuchokera ku zolakwitsa zathu, ndipo koposa zonse mukhale otetezeka komanso abwino!