Momwe Mungathetsere Kuda Nkhawa Pagulu: Bweretsani Makhalidwe Abwino!

Ngati mukuvutika ndi nkhawa yamagulu, musalole aliyense kukuchititsani manyazi kuganiza kuti ndi manyazi chabe. Si. Ndi matenda omwe amadziwika ndi matenda amisala omwe amakhala ndi mantha akulu komanso kusapeza bwino pagulu, zomwe zimakhudza akulu opitilira 15 miliyoni ndikusokoneza magwiridwe antchito tsiku ndi tsiku. Mutha kuopa kuti mufufuze kapena kuweruzidwa ndi ena, kapena kulakwitsa, kapena manyazi. Mutha kudwala matenda monga thukuta, kunjenjemera, kugunda kwamtima msanga, ndi nseru; izi nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa kupewa kuyanjana kofunikira tsiku ndi tsiku. Choyambitsa sichinafikebe: umboni wa chibadwa umakhalapo, ngakhale chilengedwe chimagwira ntchito yayikulu.

Sindikukumbukira nthawi m'moyo wanga yomwe sindinkavutika ndi nkhawa zamagulu. Ndili mgiredi lachiwiri, aphunzitsi anga adandiitanira kunyumba kwawo kuti ndikadye nkhomaliro ndipo ndidangokhala ndi mantha. Ndingatani ngati sindikanatha kudya chakudya chomwe adandigawira? Ndimayenera kukonza zinthu mwanjira ina kapena sindimachita mantha. Sindinkafuna kuchita mwano, koma zinali zotheka kuti anali munthu amene amatha kuyika nkhaka m'masangweji ake a nsomba. Kodi ndimayenera kuthana ndi izi?

Nthawi zocheza zinali zosamvetsetseka kwa ine: anthu akuwoneka kuti amachita nawo izi mwaufulu. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa chiyani adadzipereka okha? Palibe amene amadziwa zomwe angayembekezere kuchokera ku chochitika chilichonse - anthu ndi osadalirika. Ndinkabwera kunyumba kuchokera kuphwando kapena kuvina kapena pikiniki nditatopa kwambiri ndi kuyesayesa kwachabe kwinaku ndikudikira mwachangu. Aliyense amawoneka kuti amadziwa malamulo; Ndiyenera kuti ndaphonya kalasayi, ndimaganiza, ndipo zinali zochititsa manyazi kwambiri kufunsa njira yotsitsimutsira tsopano.

Poyambirira kwambiri, poyesa kutsimikizira zikhalidwe zomwe aliyense amawoneka kuti amazinyalanyaza, ndidayamba kutolera mabuku azikhalidwe: zachikale, zachikasu zamomwe mungagwiritsire ntchito canapé, kapena momwe mungabisire mpango wanu wamanja. Ndidaphunzira kuti ngati uluma chidutswa cha gristle kapena fupa la nsomba, umayenera "mokoma" -mabuku onse omwe ananenedwa "mokoma" -kuchotsa kachidutswa kakang'ono kamene kali pakamwa pako ndikuyika pambali pa mbale yako. Zambiri zotere zidandilimbikitsa, ndipo ndimakonda kuwerenga mabukuwa kwa maola ambiri, wokondwa podziwa kuti m'dziko lino lodzala ndi chisokonezo ndimatha kuligwira kwakanthawi.

Koma ndikamakula anthu adasintha, osati momwe ndidakondera. M'zaka za m'ma 70 mumayenera kuzisiya zonse, ndikuponyera msonkhano pamphepo, ndikungopita ndi kutuluka. Emily Post sanapite kamodzi ndi kutuluka. Ndinkadziona kuti ndine wotayika komanso wopanda ntchito komanso wachikale, ndipo nkhawa yanga yokhudza kucheza idakulirakulira. Kodi ndimayenera bwanji kuwoneka "ndi" ndikumasuka, pomwe ndinali wovuta? Sizinanditengere nthawi kuti ndipeze yankho: Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine.

Mwinamwake chifukwa cha nkhawa yanga inakula kwambiri, nthawi zonse ndinkatha kumwa mowa wochuluka kuposa anzanga. Panalibe pansi pa ludzu langa lopanda malire. Mwanjira ina, ndichinthu chabwino kuti ndidaledzera, chifukwa ndimakumbukira zomwe ndanena kapena zomwe ndidachita. Ndikudziwa kuti, ndikumva chisoni kwambiri, mowa sunandisandutse Noel Coward. Kutalitali. Ndinali munthu wamanyazi, womwa mowa mwauchidakwa yemwe amangokhalira kumangonena aliyense, n'kumati: “Ndimakukonda kwambiri.” Ndimanjenjemera ndikuganiza kuti sindinakhalepo wowonekera bwino kwambiri. Msungwana yemwe samatha kudya zipatso zamtundu wa tuna sanasamale konse za amuna omwe amatenga pabedi lake.

Tsopano popeza ndili ndi zaka zoposa 18, moyo wanga wakhala utatsukidwa. Ndimangobisalira ndekha pilo langa, ndipo ndimakonda kwambiri chikondi changa. Chithandizo chazindikiritso chathandizanso kwambiri - zandiwonetsa kupusa kwa malingaliro anga. M'malo mongolakwitsa zofooka zanga, mwina anthu sakuganiza za ine, koma za china chilichonse palimodzi (nthawi zambiri iwowo). Nzeruzi zachepetsera moyo wanga, koma ndiyenera kuvomereza kuti sizimandilimbikitsa nthawi zonse ndikamaganizira za chakudya chamadzulo chomwe chikubwera. Pazomwezi, ndiyenera kutulutsa mabuku anga, ndikuwunika kawiri yemwe amadziwitsidwa kaye kwa ndani, ndi komwe ndiyenera kuyika galasi yanga yamadzi, komanso momwe ndingalembetsere woperekayo mochenjera.

Koma ulemu umaposa kudziwa kokha kuti pali foloko ya saladi kangati. Khalidwe labwino limatithandiza kukambirana ndi anthu ena. Amapereka malingaliro oyanjana. Amayendetsa bwino m'mbali mwamayendedwe oyandikana kwambiri. Mwachidule, amachepetsa kusatsimikizika kwa mayanjano pokhazikitsa njira zaulemu komanso zoyembekezeredwa zochitira zinthu. Mwinanso izi zikuwoneka ngati zosakhazikika komanso zovomerezeka kwa inu. Mutha kudandaula kuti zimachotsa chimfine poyanjana. Koma m'malingaliro mwanga, ndichinthu chabwino. Nanga bwanji ngati tili pachiwopsezo chonyalanyaza zadzidzidzi? Momwe ine ndikudziwira, kudzipangira ndi mawu ena osatsimikizika. Ndipo chilichonse chomwe chimachepetsa kusatsimikizika chimakhala ndi bata m'mitsempha yanga.

Pakatikati pake, ulemu umakhazikitsidwa potengera kulingalira kwamunthu wina. Lamulo lokha lomwe muyenera kudziwa ndi Lamulo la Chikhalidwe: chitirani ena momwe mungafunire kuti akuchitireni. Kapena, monga momwe bukhu langa la 1938 la Manners for Moderns likunenera, "Ulemu ndikuchita ndi kunena / Chinthu chokoma mtima kwambiri." Ngati nditati ndipite mawa kulowa mdziko lomwe aliyense adalonjeza kuti adzalemekeza lamuloli, ndikadakhala wofunitsitsa - ayi, helo, ndikadakhala wokondwa - kuti ndiphunzire.