Momwe Mungadziwire Ngati Mukugonana

Kwa ampatuko komanso anthu ovuta, nkhani yokhudza kugonana ndi nkhani yofunikira kuti mumveke, kaya ndinu osakwatiwa, muli pachibwenzi, kapena muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali.

Monga ndimakambirana mu "The Empath's Survival Guide," chifukwa ma empathic ndi ovuta, palibe chinthu chotchedwa "kugonana wamba." Pakupanga chikondi, maufulu amatha kutenga nkhawa komanso chisangalalo kuchokera kwa anzathu omwe timagonana nawo, ndipo nthawi zambiri amatenga malingaliro pazomwe akuganiza komanso momwe akumvera. Chifukwa chake, sankhani anzanu mwanzeru. Kupanda kutero, popanga chikondi, mutha kuyamwa mphamvu ya poizoni, kupsinjika, kapena mantha. Izi ndizowona makamaka ngati mukugonana.

Kodi chiwerewere ndi chiyani? Wina yemwe kuthekera kwake kumawonjezera pakamakumana ndi zolaula kotero kuti amve kupsinjika kapena chisangalalo. Zolinga zakugonana ndizovuta kwambiri panthawi yopanga chikondi (komanso kukopana). Amatha kutenga mphamvu za mnzake kuposa momwe zingathere. Kuti maufulu onse (makamaka amtundu wa chiwerewere) amve bwino, ayenera kuyanjana ndi munthu woyenera yemwe angabwezere chikondi ndi ulemu.

Tsoka ilo, ena mwa odwala anga omwe amamvera chisoni amalakwitsa pomwe akhala opanda bwenzi kwanthawi yayitali. Ngati wina abwera yemwe amachititsa kuti azigonana, ali ofunitsitsa kwambiri kukhala pachibwenzi, amanyalanyaza zidziwitso zowonekera. Chifukwa chake amagonana msanga ndi munthu yemwe sanasankhe bwino. Amaopa kuti chifukwa zatenga nthawi yayitali kuti apeze wina yemwe angakhale wosangalatsa kwakutali, ndibwino kuti azitenga nawo gawo ngakhale kuli mbendera zofiira.

Timadzitsegulira tokha kuti tizipwetekedwa chifukwa chodziphatika kwambiri kwa anthu omwe sapezeka omwe sangatikondenso. Mgwirizano wina unandiuza kuti, "Sindinakhale pachibwenzi zaka zisanu, koma nditagonana ndi amuna omwe ndimakondana nawo kwambiri, ndinasanduka munthu wopusa. Sindinamvere zikwangwani ndipo ndinakhumudwa. Koma tsopano, ndimachedwetsa kuti munthuyo apezeke. ”

Njira imodzi yongodikirira kuti mnzanu awonekere ndikupita kumisonkhano ya tantra kapena kuchita zachinsinsi ndi aphunzitsi a tantric. Tantra ndichizolowezi chakale chomwe chimaphatikiza zogonana komanso uzimu kudzera pazolimbitsa thupi. Mukakhala panokha kapena pagulu, mudzaphunzitsidwa kulowa mthupi lanu, kugonana kwanu ndi uzimu wanu, ndikugwira ntchito pamavuto akale, machitidwe owononga maubwenzi, kapena dzanzi lomwe limakulepheretsani kumva. Magawo awa amachulukitsa kugonana kwanu ndikupangitsa kuti iziyenda bwino kuti mukulitse mphamvu zanu zokopa m'malo mololeza kuti nyongoyi izikhala nthawi yakudikirira. Ena sangamve ngati ndinu achigololo ngati izi zichitika.

Zaka zingapo zapitazo, ndidakumana ndi magawo ofunikira nditayamba kucheza ndi munthu wolakwika mwachangu. Ndinkafuna kuthana ndi midadada iliyonse yomwe idapangitsa kuti ndisankhe amuna omwe sakupezeka kapena kukhala kwayokha nthawi yayitali. Koma ndinali nditatopa ndikulankhula za izi ndi psychotherapist wanga. Chifukwa chake, magawo owonjezerawa adandithandizira kutsegula ndi kukopa mnzanga woyenerana naye.

Mukapeza bwenzi lomwe likugwirizana nanu, maziko aubwenzi ndikuphatikiza mtima wanu ndi kugonana kwanu. Empaths amakula motere. Kugonana, mzimu, ndi mtima zikaphatikizidwa pakupanga zachikondi, zimakhala zosamalira dongosolo lathu.

Gawo limodzi lokhalitsa kugonana mozikidwa pa mtima ndikuphunzira kukhazikitsa malire ndi mnzanu ngati china chake chakukumana nacho sichikumveka. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanu ali ndi tsiku lokhumudwitsa ndipo wakwiya, mwina sangakhale nthawi yabwino yogonana chifukwa ma empath amatha kuthana ndi mkwiyo uwu. Khalani ndi kukambirana koona za izi. Wokondedwa wanu ayenera kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mukusankha kuti musakhale pachibwenzi pomwe ali wokwiya kapena atapanikizika kwambiri.

Phunzitsani mnzanu za momwe mumamverera. Pokhapokha mutakhala kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi empath, muyenera kufotokoza mwachikondi zomwe mumachita kuti mnzanuyo akwaniritse zosowa zanu. Chilengedwe cha empath ndi chosiyana ndi chomwe sichimvera chisoni. Chifundo chanu ndi kuleza mtima kwanu kudzapangitsa kusiyana konse pakuyandikira kwanu.