Momwe Mungagonjetsere Chiyembekezo

Zamkati

• Mfundo zazikuluzikulu
• 1. Kodi kukhala wangwiro kumakuthandizani kapena kukupwetekani?
• 2. Kodi mumanyadira mobisa kuti mumafuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa?
• 3. Pali kusiyana pakati pa kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa ndi miyezo yapamwamba yathanzi.
• 4. Aliyense ndi wopanda ungwiro. Aliyense amalakwitsa.
• 5. Simuyenera kudandaula mukalakwitsa; mungaphunzire kwa iwo.

Mfundo zazikuluzikulu

• Kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa kumawonjezera kudzidzudzula, kupewa, kutaya chiyembekezo, komanso kukhumudwa.
• Ofuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa amatha kuopa "kulephera" kwambiri kotero kuti sangayike pachiwopsezo kuyesera china chatsopano.
• Pali kusiyana pakati pa ungwiro ndi miyezo yapamwamba yathanzi.

Ambiri a ife timadziwa kuti titha kuchita bwino ndipo nthawi zambiri timayesetsa kudzikonza tokha poyesetsa kwambiri, kufunafuna mipata yophunzirira, ndikupitilizabe kuchita zinthu zofunika kwa ife. Koma enafe tili ndi miyezo yofuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa. Timakhulupilira kuti sitingalolere kuganiza kuti timalakwitsa, sitingavomereze kuti sitimafika pazokwera zathu zokha, kenako timalingalira kuti talephera ndipo, chifukwa chofuna ungwiro izi zikangotigwira, timadzitengera tokha -kutsutsa ndi kukhumudwa. Kodi tingasinthe bwanji izi ndikudzipumitsa?

M'mabuku am'mbuyomu, ndakambirana momwe kudzidalira kumatha kubweretsa kukhumudwa kwambiri ndikupangitsani kuti muzipewa anthu, kungokhala osachita chilichonse, kumafotokozera mavuto anu, ndikudzidzudzula kuti ndinu opanda ungwiro. Ndinawauza kuti malamulo opanda nzeru komanso ovuta omwe mungadzipangitse kudzidzudzula kwambiri ndikuti kudzichotsa nokha ndikudzikonza, kuphunzira, ndi kuvomereza kumatha kukuthandizani kuthana ndi kukhumudwa. Ndipo ndidafotokoza momwe kusowa chiyembekezo kungapangitsire kusiya, kunyalanyaza zabwino zathu, ndikuwonjezera kukhumudwa kowonjezereka- Momwe Mungagonjetse Kutaya Mtima. Mu positi iyi, tiwona momwe kufuna kuchita bwino zinthu kumawonjezera kudzidzudzula, kupewa, kutaya chiyembekezo komanso kukhumudwa kwambiri. Matenda okhumudwa nthawi zambiri amakhala njira yamaganizidwe oyipa ndi machitidwe omwe amakhala ozungulira mwankhanza. Kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa kumabweretsa kudzidzudzula komwe kumabweretsa kupewa komanso kudzipatula komwe kumabweretsa kutaya mphotho zomwe zimabweretsa kusowa chiyembekezo zomwe zimabweretsa kukhumudwa.

Tiyenera kusokoneza izi posintha ulalo uliwonse unyolo. Lero tithyola ungwiro wanu.

1. Kodi kukhala wangwiro kumakuthandizani kapena kukupwetekani?

Nthawi zambiri timaganiza kuti ziyembekezo zathu zidzatilimbikitsa kugwira ntchito molimbika komanso kuti tikungokhala zenizeni pazomwe ziyenera kuchitidwa. Koma kodi mwina kukhudzika kwanu kumakuwonjezerani nkhawa, kumakupangitsani kukhala ndi nkhawa zodzakumana ndi zovuta zina, ndikukupangitsani kudzidzudzula? Ndawonapo anthu ambiri ofuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa amene amangolankhula za zophophonya zawo zakale ndipo samadzipatsa ulemu pazabwino zomwe amachita. Zotsatira zake, amawopa "kulephera" kwambiri kotero kuti sangayike pachiwopsezo kuyesera china chatsopano komanso chovuta. Anthu opambana amakhala ndi kupambana kwawo pazambiri zomwe akumana nazo zolephera zomwe amaphunziramo. Simumenya nyumba popanda kumenya kaye poyamba.

2. Kodi mumanyadira mobisa kuti mumafuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa?

Ndawona anthu ambiri omwe mobisa amakhala ndi kunyada komwe amafuna kuti azitsatira, ngakhale zosatheka. Amati sali ofanana ndi anthu ena ndipo safuna kukhala achabechabe. Koma kodi "kunyada mwa kufuna kuchita bwino zinthu" kumangokugonjetsani, ngakhale mutapita patsogolo? Kodi ndizomveka kunyadira ndi zomwe zikukusowetsani mtendere?

3. Pali kusiyana pakati pa kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa ndi miyezo yapamwamba yathanzi.

Chidwi chanu chofuna kukhala opanda ungwiro chimadziwika ndi izi: "Zolinga zanga ndizokwera kwambiri sindingathe kuzikwaniritsa," "Sindingathe kulakwitsa," komanso "Palibe chomwe ndimachita chimakhala chokwanira." Izi zimawonjezera masautso anu ndikudzidzudzula nokha. Koma miyezo yabwino yathanzi ndi yosiyana. Mutha kuganiza, "Zolinga zanga ndizokwaniritsa koma ndizotheka," "Ndimakhutira ndikayesetsa mwakhama ngakhale sizabwino," komanso "Ndikhoza kuvomereza zolakwitsa." Kukhala ndi miyezo yapamwamba yabwino kuli ndi mwayi wokupatsani zomwe ndichabwino ndipo ndichotheka kuti — kuti ukhale wabwino — osakulemetsa ndi zosatheka.

4. Aliyense ndi wopanda ungwiro. Aliyense amalakwitsa.

Nthawi zambiri ndimafunsa odwala anga omwe amafuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa kuti andiuze za anthu omwe amawadziwa bwino ndikuwafunsa za zolakwa zomwe adachita. Anthu opambana nthawi zonse amalakwitsa-chifukwa amakhala akuchita zenizeni. Ngati aliyense amalakwitsa nthawi zina, bwanji osatero? Kodi mukuyenera kukhala angwiro mwapadera?

5. Simuyenera kudandaula mukalakwitsa; mungaphunzire kwa iwo.

Nthawi zambiri timangoganizira zolakwitsa zathu, timangobwereza-bwereza m'maganizo mwathu momwe tidapusa, ndikudandaula zinthu zomwe sitingathe kuzisintha. Koma ngati zolakwitsa sizipezeka nthawi zina, bwanji osaphunzira kwa iwo. Dzifunseni tsopano — ndikukhala achilungamo ndi inu nokha — ndi zolakwitsa ziti zomwe munalakwitsa m'mbuyomu zomwe zinakupangitsani kuti muphunzire china chatsopano? Mwinamwake inu munanena malingaliro ena achidani ndipo inu mukuzindikira kuti kunali kulakwitsa. Mwaphunzira chiyani? Kodi mungapewe bwanji izi mtsogolo? Yesetsani kuganizira zolakwitsa monga zokumana nazo, monga kukula, monga phunziro lomwe mwaphunzira. Izi ndizokhumudwitsa kwambiri kuposa kuganiza kuti kulakwitsa kumatsimikizira kuti ndinu olephera.

Kumbukirani kuti kupita patsogolo osati ungwiro kumachitika m'mbali zonse za moyo wanu. Matenda okhumudwa nthawi zambiri amadziwika ndi kusalolera zomwe zili zenizeni za tonsefe-kuti ndife opanda ungwiro, koma osatheka.