Mverani Banja Lanu Popanda Upangiri kapena Kudzudzulidwa

“Ndikukupemphani kuti musapereke zilizonse upangiri kwa aliyense m'banja mwanu mwezi wamawa ndipo mwachiyembekezo mpaka kalekale; makamaka ana anu. ”

Awa ndiye maziko opangira zochitika zogwirira ntchito pabanja, makamaka ndi iwo omwe akuchita ndi membala yemwe ali ndi ululu wopweteka.

Kupweteka kosatha kumawononga mabanja kwambiri. Anthu omwe akumva kuwawa nthawi zambiri amaiwala momwe zimakhalira kuti musangalale. Amakonda kudzipatula komanso kudzipatula, ngakhale m'nyumba zawo. Zambiri mwa zokambiranazi zimakhudza zowawa komanso chithandizo chamankhwala. Zimakhala zotopetsa komanso zokhumudwitsa chifukwa palibe zomwe zingachitike kuthetsa vutoli. Kuphatikiza apo, ndizofala kuti odwala azitha kulimbana ndi mabanja awo kukhala chandamale kwambiri. Mawu oti "mkwiyo" amagwiritsidwa ntchito pofotokoza mkwiyo womwe umabwera chifukwa chakumangika ndi zowawa. (1)

Kutsekedwa

Koma tsopano banja lonse nalonso latsekereza. Zochitikazo zimawonekera mwachangu m'mayendedwe angapo oyamba. Chifukwa chake, ndikuwafunsa funso losavuta, "Kodi mumawakonda banja lanu?" Yankho nthawi zonse limakhala, "Zachidziwikire!" Chofunikira chavutoli ndikuti mkwiyo wafika ponseponse mkati mwanyumba mwakuti sangathe kuwona zovuta zakumva kuwawa kwawo. Pakatikati pa ubale wamunthu ndikuzindikira zosowa za ena m'malingaliro awo. Chikhalidwe cha nkhanza ndiko kusazindikira. Mkwiyo umachotsa kuzindikira.

Kenako ndikufunsa kuti, “Ngati banja lanu ndi lofunika kwambiri kwa inu, bwanji mungalole kuti muwakhumudwitse chonchi? Kodi ungalalikire mlendo momwe amalankhulira ndi banja lako? ” Inde sichoncho. "Ndiye bwanji mungachitire bwino banja lanu, lomwe mumawakonda kwambiri kuposa munthu amene simumacheza naye?"

Ntchito yakunyumba

Pambuyo pokambirana mwachidule, ndimagawana homuweki. Ndikufuna kuti aliyense payekha afunse aliyense m'banjamo momwe zimakhalira kwa iye akapsa mtima. Kenako ndimawafunsa kuti aganizire, "Mukuwoneka bwanji mukakwiya?" Kodi mungafunirenji kuti akuoneni muli motere? ” Mkwiyo siwowoneka bwino ndipo nanunso mumasiyana nawo.

Mukufuna kuti banja lanu limve bwanji akamva mapazi anu akubwera pakhomo lakumaso? Kodi ali okondwa kapena akuwopa? Adikirira mpaka awone momwe mukukhalira? Mukufuna kuti amve chiyani? Kodi mumakonda kusewera ndi banja lanu? Kodi mumachita kangati? Kodi mutha kusewera ngati simukusangalala? Kodi banja lanu ndi malo achitetezo ndi achimwemwe?

Kodi wamkulu ndani?

Ndinadabwa zaka zingapo zapitazo ndikulankhula ndi wodwala wamkulu waminyewa. Zinali zowopsa pang'ono kungokhala mchipinda momwemo. Anali munthu wamalonda wapamwamba yemwe anali ndi vuto lowawa kwa khosi kwazaka zambiri. Ndinamufunsa ngati anakhumudwa? Poyamba adati sanatero ndipo adavomereza kuti amachitako nthawi zina. Izi zidachitika tsiku lililonse ndipo zimachitika kangapo patsiku. Ndidamufunsa kuti, "Ndani wakwiya naye?" Iye anayankha kuti, “Mwana wanga.” Ndidamufunsa kuti anali ndi zaka zingati, ndipo anati, "Zaka khumi."

Ndinadabwa chifukwa chidwi cha mkwiyo chimakhala chimzake. Ndidamufunsa, "Kodi wamkulu ndi ndani pankhaniyi ndipo mukuganiza kuti angamve bwanji kuti mkwiyo wanu ndi womwe?" Sanaganizire za ngodya imeneyo - koma sanathe kusiya momwe akumukhumudwitsira.

Kudziwitsa

Gawo lachiwiri la homuweki ndikuti ndikufuna kuti azichita kuzindikira kuyambira pomwe akutuluka pakhomo laofesi yanga. Udindo ndikuti sayenera kupereka upangiri kwa wokondedwa wawo kapena ana mpaka paulendo wotsatira. Palibe, pokhapokha mutafunsa.

Ndimawafunsanso kuti aganizire zina mwa zotsatirazi. “Ndi kangati pomwe umapereka upangiri popempha upangiri? Kodi mukuzindikira kuti mukuwauzadi kuti siabwino mokwanira momwe alili? Kodi mumatsutsa mopitirira muyeso? Kodi mumasangalala kapena kuyamikira kutsutsidwa? Kodi mungatani? Mukuyembekeza kuti iwo atani? ”

Zoyambitsa

Zikuwoneka kuti banja ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu kwambiri pakukulitsa zowawa ndi nkhawa. Chimodzi mwazinthu zoyipa kwambiri zamakhalidwe amunthu ndichakuti mitundu yomwe idatsala idachita izi chifukwa idaphunzira kuchita zinthu ndi anthu ena.

Kufunika kwa kulumikizana kwaumunthu kumakhala kwakuya komanso kuzama bwino - kupatula kuti zoyambitsa zomwe zakulepheretsani kukhala zamphamvu. Chifukwa chake, malo otetezeka kwambiri m'nyumba mwanu nthawi zambiri amakhala owopsa.

Simukumva kukhala wotetezeka chifukwa thupi lanu lakuperekani ndipo mukukumana ndi zowawa nthawi zonse. Kenako, imasewera m'nyumba mwanu ndipo palibe amene akumva kukhala wotetezeka.

Kodi ndi zomwe mumaganizira mukamakumana ndi mnzanu ndikusangalala ndikupanga tsogolo limodzi? Chinachitika ndi chiyani? Kodi mungatani? Muli ndi zisankho ndipo gawo loyamba ndikuzindikira kukula kwa vutoli.

Kuchiritsa kumayambira kunyumba

Ngakhale mukuganiza kuti banja lanu silovuta, ndikukutsutsani kuti mufunse banja lanu mafunso omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa. Izi ndizapadziko lonse lapansi, ndipo mudzadabwa ndikusinkhasinkha mayankho ake. Nkhani yabwino ndiyakuti ndikudziwa zambiri, chilengedwe cha banja chimatha kusintha msanga. Tinali okondwa ndi kuthamanga komanso kuzama kwa zosinthazi. Banja lonse limakhala ndi chiyembekezo.

Iyi ndi nkhani yomwe ndidatumizidwa ndi m'modzi mwa odwala anga pa Tsiku la Amayi.

Nawa mabuku angapo omwe ndimalimbikitsa pafupipafupi okhudza kulera ana ndi kukonza ubale wanu ndi mnzanu. Onsewa adakhudza kwambiri zomwe ndimachita ndi banja langa. Pokumbukira zomwe ndakumana nazo ndikumva kuwawa, ndizokhumudwitsa kwambiri kuwona momwe kufunafuna kwanga kosatha kupeza chithandizo cha zowawa zanga kudasokonezera ubale wanga mkati ndi kunja kwanyumba.

“Njira yoyambira komanso yamphamvu yolumikizira munthu wina ndikumvetsera. Ingomverani. Mwina chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe timapatsirana ndi chidwi chathu .... Kukhala chete mwachikondi nthawi zambiri kumakhala ndi mphamvu zochiritsa komanso kulumikizana kuposa mawu omwe ali ndi cholinga chabwino. ” ~ Rachel Naomi Remen

• Gordon, Thomas. Maphunziro Othandiza Kholo. Zitatu za Rivers Press, NY, NY, 1970, 1975, 2000.
• Burns, David. Kumva Bwino Pamodzi. Mabuku a Broadway, NY, NY, 2008.