Chikondi ndi Ngongole

Chikondi ndi ukwati zikuyenera kuyendera limodzi ngati kavalo ndi ngolo. Koma chimachitika ndi chiyani ngati ngongole ya mnzake (kapena onse awiri) imapangitsa kuti mfundozo zizikhala ngati kulowa m'ndende ya omwe ali ndi ngongole? M'nthawi yomwe anthu ambiri aku America azikhala ndi okondana nawo pamoyo wawo wachikulire, ngongole zitha kuthandizira kusintha kuti akhale ogwirizana komanso kulepheretsa kulowa m'banja. Izi ndichifukwa choti ma single amasiku ano akuwona kuti kulipira ngongole zawo ndizofunika kwambiri pabanja. Zotsatira za pepala lomwe latulutsidwa posachedwa zikuwonetsa kuti ngongole yakhala cholepheretsa ukwati, makamaka pakati pazaka zikwizikwi zomwe zimakhala ndi ngongole za ngongole za ophunzira.

Tengani Ray ndi Julie, banja lomwe linafunsidwa za buku lathu laposachedwa, Cohabitation Nation. Onse azaka za 30, adakhala limodzi zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri panthawi yofunsidwa, adachita nawo asanu. Koma ngakhale anali ndi cholinga chokwatirana - pamapeto pake - anali asanapeze chuma choti achite. Atafunsidwa kuti afotokoze, a Julie anati, “Timasunga ndalama, kenako timakumana ndi zovuta zamagalimoto; ndiye timapulumutsa, ndipo winawake ali pabedi lakufa ku Wisconsin, mukudziwa? Kotero palibe [chopulumutsidwa] chomwe chimakhalanso chilichonse. Nthawi zambiri amazigwiritsa ntchito mwanjira ina. ”

Pomwe mbadwo wakale nthawi zambiri umakwatirana ngakhale uli ndi ngongole, zaka zikwizikwi zimakhala ndi ngongole zochulukirapo kuposa ma cohort akale. Ma kirediti kadi akhala osavuta kupeza, ndipo ngongole zaku koleji zakula modabwitsa - makoleji adalimbikitsa achinyamata kuti azichita dipuloma koma adasinthira ngongole zandalama, pomwe mayiko adachepetsa ndalama zothandizira maphunziro apamwamba. Pofika mu 2018, ngongole za ophunzira zidakwera kufika pa 1.5 triliyoni US dollars, malinga ndi magazini ya Forbes. Mbadwo wachinyamata wachikulire ukukulimbana ndi kuchuluka kwa ngongole za ophunzira, zomwe "zikulowa m'malo mwanyumba yanyumba ngati njira yoyamba yobweretsera chuma." Koma ngakhale kuti digiri ya kukoleji ikusonyeza kuti munthu ayenera kukhala wokwatirana kwambiri, vuto la ngongole za ophunzira likufikitsa maloto aku America - ukwati, kuyambitsa banja, kugula nyumba - kuti ambiri asakwanitse.

M'malo mwake, zofunikira zambiri zokwatirana zasintha. Mwa iwo omwe akula msinkhu mzaka za m'ma 1980 ndi m'mbuyomo, ukwati udawonetsa chiyambi cha moyo wachinyamata wachinyamata, chisonyezo choti akufuna kupalasa ndikupulumutsa ngati gulu. Masiku ano, ukwati nthawi zambiri umakhala mwala wapambana pachimake, womwe umachedwetsedwa mpaka m'modzi kapena onse awiri "atakwanitsa". Ngongole zamaphunziro, komabe, ndizolepheretsa banja. Kulipira ngongole, komabe, ndi chiyembekezo chanthawi yayitali. Ngongole ya mnzake ingapangitse kuyamba magawo ena achikulire - monga kugula nyumba kapena kukhala ndi mwana - zovuta kwambiri. Malipiro a ngongole pasukulu ayenera kulipidwa ngakhale atadulidwa nthawi yogwirira ntchito kapena akabereka, azimayi atakhala kuti sakugwira ntchito (ndikupeza ndalama, chifukwa chakuchepa kwa tchuthi cha mabanja athu).

Kukonzekera ukwati ndichinthu chokwera mtengo kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, mphete yonyezimira yotomerana imatha kuwonjezera mavuto azachuma a banja lachinyamata. Wapakati mphete lero, mwachitsanzo, amawononga $ 6,350 - miyezi ingapo yopeza kwa onse koma munthu wolipira bwino kwambiri (ndipo kumuyesa ndi mphete amakhalabe ntchito yamwamuna komanso yamwamuna). Martin, mkonzi wamabuku omwe tidafunsa, anali ndi zaka zoyambirira za 30 ndipo anali ndi ngongole zoposa $ 30,000 kuchokera kwa omaliza maphunziro ake. Iye ndi Jessica amalankhula za kutomerana, koma mavuto azachuma a Martin anali kuwalepheretsa kuchita izi. Pofotokoza zovuta, adati:

“Chifukwa chodzinyadira, sindigula mphete ya $ 10,000, koma ndikufuna ndigwiritse ntchito ngati $ 1,000 mpaka $ 2,000. Chifukwa chake zinali ngati amubweretsa, monga 'Kodi tikuganizirabe za izi?' ndipo nthawi yonseyi ndimaganiza za izi, koma sindinathe kupeza misampha iliyonse yokhudza izi mpaka nditakhala ndi ndalama, mukudziwa zomwe ndikutanthauza? Nditangopeza ntchito yanga ndidaganizira momwe ndingayambire kulipira makhadi anga onse ndi ngongole zanga kusukulu. Ndinkasunga $ 50 yanga pamwezi, ndipo ndimapeza ntchito yachiwiri. Ndinkagwirabe ntchito pamalo a pizza, ngati usiku umodzi pa sabata, ndipo ndimapitilizabe kupulumutsa. Ndipo kotero ine pomalizira pake ndinamanga theka la mphete, ndalamazo. Nditangotha ​​kutuluka, ndidagula mpheteyo ndipo tidachita chinkhoswe. ” Kwa Martin, kugula mphete ya chinkhoswe kunali vuto lalikulu. "Ndinkada nkhawa kuti ndimugulira mphete," adalongosola, "chifukwa ndimada nkhawa kuti abwenzi ake amuweruza, monga, 'O, mudasunga chaka ndipo ndizomwe mungapeze?' Ndiye kuli zolakwa zambiri kumeneko. ”

Kuda nkhawa ndi ziyembekezo zosatheka za kubetcherana kumalepheretsa abwenzi kuti ayambe kufunsa funso.

Chiyembekezo chaukwati chawonjezeka kwambiri. Makolo a Miller atakwatirana koyambirira kwa zaka za m'ma 1970, phwando laukwati wawo lidachitikira mchipinda chapansi cha tchalitchicho ndipo banjali lidapatsa alendo keke, nkhonya, ndi ma almond aku Jordan. Adasamukira kokasangalala ku paki yaboma yakomweko. Masiku ano, malo okwatirana akuti ukwati wamba umawononga ndalama zoposa $ 33,000; Magazini okwatirana achikwati ndi zowonetsa zenizeni zapawailesi yakanema zakweza malire pazomwe akuyembekeza. Kuphatikizidwa, kuchuluka kwa ngongole pamodzi ndi ziyembekezo za chochitika chachikulu kungapangitse kuti maukwati achepetse patali kwa onse koma opambana pachuma.

Tikuwonetsa kuti maanja omwe ali odzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake ayenera kukambirana za ngongole zawo komanso ndalama. Zokambirana zotere ziyenera kuchitika kwa iwo omwe akuganiza zopanga chinkhoswe. Palibe wokonda mnzanu yemwe amafuna kuti azimva kuti mkazi wake akuyenera kukhala ndi ngongole zochulukirapo kuposa zomwe zimawononga galimoto zapamwamba atavomera kukwatirana. Kudziwa kuchuluka kwa ngongole zomwe anthu adapeza, komanso momwe anzanu amathandizira kulipira ngongole zawo, kungaperekenso chidziwitso chofunikira cha momwe mnzanuyo adzayendetsere mavuto azachuma. Kudziwa izi kumalimbikitsa maanja pamene akuthetsa limodzi mwamavuto omwe maanja amakumana nawo limodzi - nkhani za ndalama - asanamange mfundozo. Kukula kwakukulu, achinyamata akuyeneranso kukankhira vuto la ngongole pagulu, kudzera pazandale komanso kutenga nawo mbali, komanso kufotokozera zosowa zawo kuti athane ndi mavuto awo.

Ukwati si wa aliyense (ndipo sichoncho, mwa malingaliro athu, uyenera kukhala). Koma kodi munthu angatani ngati ngongole ikusokoneza zolinga za banja? Mwa mabanja omwe tidafunsa omwe anali pachibwenzi, owerengeka anali akufuna maukwati apamwamba omwe amafalitsidwa m'magazini, komanso ambiri sanagule mphete zokongola zomwe zimafuna ndalama za miyezi itatu (kapena kupitilira apo). Adakambirana njira zawo zochepetsera ndalama ndikusunga zokwanira kuti atenge gawo lotsatirali, zochepa zomwe timafotokoza pano.

Njira imodzi yomwe angapo omwe amaphunzira ku koleji omwe adagwirapo ntchito inali yoti agwire ntchito yachiwiri, makamaka kuthandizira kulipirira maukwati awo ndi tchuthi chawo. Monga Martin tatchulazi, Nathan ndi Andrea anali kugwira ntchito yomanga dzira. Natani anati: “Ndikungogwira ntchito yolembetsa kapena kugulitsa mowa wapaintchito, kuti ndipange ndalama tokha zomwe tingathe kusungitsa ndalama zolipirira kunyumba ndikusungira zolipira paukwati,” adalongosola Nathan.

Angapo mwa mabanja athu adatchulapo momwe mamembala am'banja amalipirira zina mwazinthu zofunikira paukwati wawo, monga maluwa, keke, kapena ngakhale diresi laukwati, ngati mphatso yawo. Atafunsidwa momwe amalipirira ndalama zaukwati, Kevin adati, "Chifukwa chake, ndikutanthauza kuti anali anthu ongodzipereka kulipira zinthu. Ndili ngati, 'Chabwino!' "Chibwenzi chake, Amy, adavomereza," Ndiye kuti anthu ambiri akuchita zotere chifukwa cha mphatso yawo yapaukwati, yomwe yathandiza kwambiri. " Ena adasankha pamwambo wosavuta ndi achibale ochepa komanso abwenzi.Janelle adafotokoza momwe amafuna kuti ukwati wake usakhale wofunika, kapena m'mawu ake, "phwando laling'ono. Ndikutanthauza, ndikubwereka diresi langa laukwati. zosavuta. ”

Kusankha koteroko sikophweka, makamaka pachikhalidwe chomwe chimalimbikitsa "matrimania" kapena chiyembekezo chomwe chikukwera pazamaukwati opitilira muyeso. Koma munthawi yomwe malipiro amakhala okhazikika kwa onse koma omwe amakhala kumapeto kwenikweni kwa zomwe amapeza, kupita kokalipira ukwati sikulangizidwa. Kumapeto kwa tsikulo, anthu omwe amawononga $ 40 paukwati wawo amakhala osakwatirana (ndipo atha kukhala ndi mgwirizano wopambana) ngati amene amawononga $ 40,000. Ponena za ngongole, m'malo mongodzudzula anthu kuti apitilize maphunziro apamwamba, tikulimbikitsa njira yochulukira yothanirana ndi vutoli, ndikuwonetsa kuti andale omwe amanenetsa kufunikira kwakufunika kwamabanja ayenera kuthana ndi mavuto omwe ngongole amakumana nawo achinyamata masiku ano ngati akufuna ukwati kukhalabe maziko a dziko lathu. Kupanda kutero, titha kuwona anthu ocheperako akunena pamaso pa abwenzi ndi abale kufunitsitsa kwawo kutenga wina kuti akhale wokwatirana naye movomerezeka "zabwino, zoyipa, zolemera, ndi osauka."