Chikondi (kapena Chinachake) Pakuwona Koyamba

Ndi kangati pomwe mwawerenga kapena kumva nkhani za anthu omwe amati "ndidadziwa poyamba kuti uyu ndi Iyeyo?" Nthawi zambiri anali olondola, nawonso, chifukwa awa ndi mawu ochokera kwa okwatirana paukwati wawo kapena ngakhale okwatirana omwe adakwatirana zaka 50. Ndimaziwona nthawi zambiri ndipo ndimakhudzidwa nthawi zonse ndi mawu otere. Mbiri yakukonzanso mwina.

Ndidakumana ndi zina mwa izi mu NY Times Magazine sabata ino. Mkazi wazaka makumi asanu ndi limodzi akulankhula za nthawi yoyamba yomwe adamuwona mwamuna yemwe adakwatirana naye. Anali achichepere osakwanitsa zaka 13. “Tsopano zoona,” ndinadziuza mumtima, “akudziwa bwanji chinthu chotere?”

Malongosoledwe angapo adadzinenera okha: mnyamatayo amawoneka kuti amadziwa bwino chifukwa amamukumbutsa za abale ake kapena abambo ake, amamukonda mwamphamvu (kununkhiza, kumveka mawu, ndi zina zambiri), ngakhale anali wamng'ono bwanji, anali wokopeka ndi kugonana osadziwa mwina chinali chiani icho. Ndipo chocheperako, adamuzindikira kuti ndi wokondedwa wake (kuchokera m'moyo wapitawo? Liwu m'makutu mwake? Mwa lamulo la Chimaliziro?)

Ndikudziwa bwino zomwe zimayambitsa zokopa. Amayi ena amakonda amuna amtali, otalika bwino, ndichifukwa chake mumawona akazi achichepere a 5 'kapena ndi osewera a basketball akuyenda monyadira limodzi ngakhale akucheza ndi dzenje lake lamanja! Amuna ambiri amakopeka ndi mawonekedwe azimayi - yaying'ono iyi ndi yayikulu iyo, kapena china chilichonse - ndipo tikudziwa kuti izi sizikhala moyo wonse. Posakhalitsa yemwe ali ndi mawonekedwe okongola amutaya pobereka kapena msinkhu chabe ndipo mkazi wamng'onoyo atopa ndi zovuta zakuchepera 2 kuposa mwamuna wake.

Kuthekera kwina ndikuti, pomwe kukopa koyamba kudzatha, adzakondana wina ndi mnzake ndipo ngakhale kukondana, kuvomerezana kwa munthu weniweni wamkati. Tonsefe timayembekezera izi muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali. Ndikuganiza, komabe, ndizosatheka chikondi wina ndi mnzake pakuwonana koyamba. Muyenera kudziwa momwe zimamvekera komanso kununkhira, momwe amachitira ndikapanikizika, ngakhale momwe amakhala bwino ndi mabanja awo, musanapange chisankho chokhudza chikondi kapena banja.

Nthawi zambiri ndimachenjeza anthu omwe amakumana pa intaneti ndipo "amakondana" kudzera m'makalata awo kuti sangathe kudziwa izi. Wina amafunika kuti "amve" momwemo, za munthu wina asanasankhe chilichonse chanthawi yayitali. Izi zili choncho kuno ku United States komwe anthu ambiri amayembekeza kuti chikondi chizitsogolera asanakwatirane ndipo mwachiyembekezo tikukula kuti tizikondana mzaka zonse monga m'machesi okonzedwa. Zimadalira kwambiri zomwe munthu akuyembekezera komanso chikhalidwe chake.

Ndiye, kodi pali chikondi pakuwonana koyamba? Ndikukayikira kwambiri. Kodi wina "angadziwe" kuti Uyu ndiye? Mwinanso, ngati kusankha kwamunthu wokwatirana naye ndikokopa, kuzindikira kapena pang'ono. Munthu atha kuzindikira "wokondedwa naye" atangokhala masiku ochepa atakhala limodzi ndikuwona kufanana kofananira pamalingaliro ndi malingaliro amoyo NDI pakuwona momwe matupi anu angakhalire kapena kuti agwirizane pamodzi, momwe kununkhira kwina ndikumveka. Kodi mungakhale osangalala mukakhala othandizana nawo moyo? Ngati mukulandira, mukukhalamo .... ndipo ngati muli ndi mwayi.