Amayi Omwe Amasilira Ana Awo Aakazi

Zamkati

• Nsanje Yofunika Kuwerenga
• Kodi Mukubisa Kuunika Kwanu Pansi pa Bokosi?

Pamene ndimalemba Kodi Ndidzakhala Wabwino Mokwanira?: Kuchiritsa Ana Aakazi Amayi Onyengerera , Ndidazindikira kuti ndimangomva nkhani zopweteka mobwerezabwereza, monga mitu ya nyimbo. Mutu umodzi unali wonena za amayi kuchitira nsanje ana awo aakazi. Idawuka pafupipafupi kotero kuti ndidawuphatikiza pazomwe ndimazitcha "Zokhumudwitsa Khumi" zamphamvu za amayi ndi mwana wamkazi pomwe mayi ali ndi mikhalidwe yankhanza kwambiri.

Mwachibadwa, amayi athanzi amanyadira ana awo ndipo amafuna kuti aziwala. Koma mayi wokonda zachiwerewere angaone kuti mwana wake wamkazi ndiwopseza. Ngati chidwi chimachokera kwa mayi ake, mwanayo amatha kubwezeredwa, kuponyedwa pansi, ndi kulangidwa. Mayi atha kuchitira nsanje mwana wake wamkazi pazifukwa zambiri-mawonekedwe ake, unyamata wake, chuma chake, kuchita bwino kwake, maphunziro ake ngakhale ubale wa mtsikanayo ndi bambo ake. Nsanje iyi ndi yovuta kwambiri kwa mwanayo chifukwa imakhala ndi mawu awiri: "Chitani bwino kuti Amayi azikhala onyada, koma osachita bwino kwambiri kapena mungawapose."

• Samantha nthawi zonse amakhala wocheperako m'banja. Akuti abale ake ambiri ndi onenepa, kuphatikiza amayi ake, omwe ndi onenepa kwambiri. Samantha ali ndi zaka 22, amayi ake adang'amba zovala zawo ndikutaya kuchipinda chogona, ndikuti, "Ndani angavale size 4 masiku ano? Mukuganiza kuti ndinu ndani? Uyenera kukhala ndi matenda a anorexic, ndipo kulibwino tikupezere thandizo! ”
• Felice, anandiuza kuti, “Amayi anga nthawi zonse amafuna kuti ndizikhala wokongola koma osati wokongola kwambiri. Ndinali ndi chiuno chokongola pang'ono, koma ngati nditavala lamba wonena za m'chiwuno mwanga, amandiuza kuti ndimawoneka ngati hule. "
• Zachisoni Mary anati, "Amayi amandiuza kuti ndine woipa, koma ndiyenera kupita kunja ndikukakhala wokongola kwambiri! Ndinali mfumukazi yololera kubwerera kunyumba ndipo amayi ankanyadira ndi anzawo koma adandilanga. Pali uthenga wopengawu: Weniweni ine ndi woipa, koma ndiyenera kuti ndizinamizira zenizeni? Sindikumvetsabe. ”

Ngakhale anthu ambiri amakhulupirira kuti kuchitiridwa kaduka ndi chinthu chabwino, champhamvu, kuchitiridwa kaduka, makamaka mayi wa mayi ake, sichowopsa komanso ndichopweteka. Kudzimva kwa mwana wamkazi kumathetsedwa ndikunyoza komanso kudzudzula. Ubwino wake umafunsidwa kapena kutchulidwa, kapena kupeputsidwa, zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti azimva ngati "zenizeni zake monga munthu zatha" ( Cinderella ndi Alongo Ake: Ochitira Kaduka ndi Omasilira ). Pamene mwana wamkazi amasinkhasinkha zomwe amayi ake amawoneka ansanje, amayamba kudziona kuti ndi wosayenera. Sizingakhale zomveka kwa mwana wamkazi kuti amayi ake omwe angakhale ndi malingaliro oyipa awa pa iye. Mwana wamkazi amayesetsa kuyesetsa kuti amvetse momwe zinthu ziliri ndikusankha kuti china chake chikhale cholakwika ndi iye.

Ndapeza kuti ana aakazi a amayi onyenga nthawi zambiri zimawavuta kukambirana za kaduka kuchokera kwa amayi awo, ndipo zimawavuta kuti avomereze. Nthawi zambiri samawona ubwino wawo wokwanira kuzindikira kuti nsanje ya amayi ndi chiyani. M'malo mwake amakhulupirira kuti achita chinthu cholakwika. Ngati adasinthiratu kudzimva "kosakwanira", samadziona ngati munthu amene angawasirire. Vutoli limamupangitsa mwanayo kukhala wamisala. Zimabweretsa zopinga pakukula bwino ndikulimbitsa kudzidalira.

Pakadali pano, chikuchitika ndi amayi chiyani? Kaduka limalola mayi wopanda nkhawa kuti azimva bwino kwakanthawi. Akasilira kenako ndikudzudzula komanso kunyoza mwana wamkazi, amachepetsa chiwopsezo kudzidalira kwake. Kaduka ndichida champhamvu muzolemba zamankhwala; mudzawona izi polumikizana ndi amayi ndi anthu ena. Koma akalunjikitsidwa kwa mwana wamkazi, zimamupangitsa kudzimva kuti alibe chochita komanso kudzimvera chisoni. Ngakhale pali njira zambiri zomwe nsanje ya amayi imabweretsa zovuta kwa mwana wamkazi, tiyeni tiwone zochepa chabe:

Sabata Lachitukuko. Pomwe msungwanayo akukula amagwiritsa ntchito amayi ake monga chitsanzo chake choyambirira cha kukhala msungwana, mkazi, bwenzi, wokonda, komanso munthu padziko lapansi. Ngati mayi yemweyo akumuletsa, ndikuchitira nsanje zomwe wakwanitsa, mwanayo samangosokonezeka, koma nthawi zambiri amasiya. Chifukwa ndi ntchito ya kholo kudzaza gawo lililonse lokula ndikukula, kukonda, kuthandizira ndikulimbikitsa, mwana wamkazi amapeza zopanda pake zomwe sangathe kufotokoza. Ana ambiri amafuna kusangalatsa makolo awo, chifukwa chake akapatsidwa uthengawu wosakanikirana, zimakhala zosavuta komanso mwina zotetezeka osachita kalikonse motero osadzionetsera pakudzudzulidwa. Uthengawu wochokera kwa amayi ndiwu: "Ngati poyamba sizikukuyenderani, musataye mtima!"

Ubale Wopotoka ndi Bambo. Inde, ana amafunika kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi makolo onse awiri. Ngati mayi akuchita nsanje ndi ubale womwe mwana wamkazi ali nawo ndi bambo ake, kodi mwana wamkazi atani? Amafuna kuti makolo onse azimukonda. Amakondweretsa ndani? Kodi amatha bwanji kuchita izi? Chovuta kwambiri ndi funso loti abambo angachite chiyani. Nthawi zambiri amuna omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi azimayi onyenga amasankha kusamalira amayi awo kuti akhalebe ndiubwenzi wachikulire. Izi zimapangitsa abambo kuti asalumikizane ndi mwana wawo wamkazi ndipo zowonadi izi zimamupangitsa mwanayo kukhala wopanda kulumikizana ndi makolo onse awiri.

Kugonana ndi wachibale. Milandu yoopsa kwambiri ya nsanje ya mayi ndi mwana imawonekera m'mabanja momwe muli kugonana pachibale. Ngati bambo ndi wolakwayo ndipo mayiyo amachita nsanje ndi ubale wa bambo ndi mwana, ndiye kuti nawonso amakhala olakwira ndipo sangathe kuyika mwana wamkazi patsogolo. M'malo mwake, amawona mwana wawo wamkazi ngati "mkazi winayo," akumatsata mwamuna wake. Nthawi zambiri achibale omwe takhala tikugwira nawo ntchito, bambo akalakwitsa, sizili choncho: Amayi amatenga mbali ya mwanayo, monga ayenera, ndikusiya wolakwayo. Komabe, nthawi zina timawona mphamvu ya nsanje mwa mayi. Izi ndizopweteketsa mtima. Zikatero, mwana wamkazi samachitiridwa nkhanza zokha komanso amamuchitira nsanje komanso kudedwa ndi amayi ake.

Nsanje Yofunika Kuwerenga

Kodi Mukubisa Kuunika Kwanu Pansi pa Bokosi?