Ululu Wakubisala: Bully's Silent Weapon

# 1. Kodi Kukongoletsa Maonekedwe Kumawoneka Motani?

Kuwombera, kapena kupatula munthu ndi gulu kapena gulu, ndi njira yodziwika bwino ya omwe amapezerera anzawo pantchito. Imagwira ngati chida chosalankhulira, chovuta kutchula, chovuta kuitana, komanso kuwononga thanzi la m'maganizo komanso kuthana ndi zofunikira pantchito. Zomverera zakukanidwa ndizolimba ndipo zimayambitsidwa mwachangu, monga zikuwonetsedwa mu kafukufuku wofufuza pogwiritsa ntchito Cyberball, masewera opangidwa ndi makompyuta omwe amaponyedwa pomwe chandamale sichimaseweredwa mwadzidzidzi.

Kutsekemera, malinga ndi Kipling Williams, Pulofesa Wodziwika wa Psychology ku University of Purdue komanso katswiri wodziwika bwino pantchitoyi, akutsatira magawo atatu omwe amatchedwa Need Threat Temporal Model. Zimayamba ndi gawo losinkhasinkha momwe zosowa zazikulu zakukhala, kudzidalira, kudziwongolera, komanso kukhala ndi moyo wowopsa zimawopsezedwa. Gawo lowunikira kapena lothana ndi lotsatira, pomwe chandamale chikuwunika zomwe zawonongeka ndipo atha kuyesanso kukhazikitsa kulumikizana potsatira zikhalidwe zamagulu kapena kukwiya ndi kuchitiridwa nkhanza ndikufuna kubwezera. Ngati kuchotsedwako kumatenga nthawi yayitali, chandamale chimayamba gawo losiya ntchito, pomwe nthawi zambiri amadziona kuti ndi wosafunikira, wopanda chiyembekezo, komanso wokhumudwa.

# 2. N 'chifukwa Chiyani Ovutitsa Kuntchito Amagwiritsa Ntchito Kukakamira Kudziko Monga Chida?

Zovuta kutsimikizira, zosavuta kulowa nawo, komanso zowononga, kusalidwa ndi njira yomwe amakondera anthu ogwira nawo ntchito. Malinga ndi Williams, "kutulutsidwa kapena kusalidwa ndi mtundu wosaoneka wovutitsa womwe sukusiya zipsera, chifukwa chake nthawi zambiri timanyalanyaza kukhudzidwa kwake." Kusiyanitsidwa pagulu kumatsutsana ndi malingaliro omwe akukhala nawo, kumawononga malo ake ochezera, ndikulepheretsa chidziwitso chofunikira kuti mumalize bwino ntchito ndi ntchito. Pofuna kuti izi ziziwoneka zosangalatsa kwa opezerera anzawo kuntchito, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kunyalanyaza ndikofala. Kuopa kusalidwa ndikofunikira kwambiri, ambiri omwe adayimilira atengera zomwe amachitazo, kuwonetsetsa kuti ali "mgulu", m'malo moika pachiwopsezo chobwezera pazokambirana zamagulu. Cholingacho chikadziwika kuti sichichotsedwa, magulu achifwamba angatsatire, kukulitsa kupweteka komanso kuchuluka kwa kusankhidwako.

# 3. Chifukwa Chiyani Kuponderezedwa Kumapweteka Kwambiri?

Malinga ndi a Robert Sapolsky, a neuroendocrinologist ku Stanford University komanso olandila MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant, kuwawa kwa kusalidwa kumawoneka ngati kwasintha. Ndife zolengedwa zachikhalidwe mwachilengedwe. Kumtchire, kukhala pagulu ndikofunikira kuti tikhale ndi moyo, ndipo kuyenda pawokha kumatipatsa mwayi wovulala kapena kufa. Zowawa zakusalidwa zitha kukhala chida chosinthira kutichenjeza kuti tili pachiwopsezo.

Omwe amazunzidwa nthawi zambiri amati kupatula kumapweteketsa, ndikofotokozera bwino malinga ndi a Eisenberger, Lieberman, ndi Williams omwe kafukufuku wawo akuwonetsa kuti kudzipatula kumapangitsa kuti kunja kukhale kozungulira komanso malo ena akunja, madera omwewo aubongo omwe amawonekera chifukwa zowawa zathupi. Amazindikira kuti "zowawa zomwe timakumana nazo zimakhala zofananira ndi kupweteka kwakuthupi, zomwe zimatichenjeza tikakhala kuti tavulala ndi anzathu, ndikulola njira zobwezeretsera."

# 4. Kodi Kukongoletsa Zinthu Kumalimbikitsa Bwanji Kugwirizana, Kulepheretsa Kulenga, ndi Kulepheretsa Kuimba Miphokoso?

Malingaliro ndi ntchito za ogwira ntchito zimathandizira kukhazikitsa chikhalidwe chofala pantchito ndikupanga malamulo oti akhale nawo. Parks ndi Stone adapeza kuti zikhalidwe zokhala ndi zikhalidwe zosasunthika, zomwe zimalepheretsa kusagwirizana, nthawi zina zimathamangitsa anthu omwe amachita bwino kwambiri komanso amadzipereka kwambiri. Amaganizira kuti ogwira ntchito oterewa akukweza milingo yayikulu kwambiri, yopitilira ntchito yopanga ndi zikhalidwe zaluso, ndikupangitsa anzawo anzawo kudziona ngati opanda ntchito chifukwa chokhala oyang'anira ena. Kuti akhazikitsenso umembala wamagulu, ochita bwino amakakamizidwa kuti azisewera pang'ono kapena kusiya ntchito, kupititsa patsogolo chikhalidwe chovuta komanso nthawi zina chakupha pantchito.

Cialdini (2005), pulofesa ku Arizona State University, adapeza kuti nthawi zambiri timanyalanyaza mphamvu zakusintha kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu. Khalidwe loipa likakhala paliponse m'gulu, pankhani yolumikizana ndi akatswiri komanso kupanga zisankho moyenera, ogwira nawo ntchito amatha kutsatira izi. Ndani angakhale pachiwopsezo chokhala wosayidwa chifukwa chodzudzula zopanda chilungamo? Kenny (2019), m'buku lake latsopano Kuliza lipenga: Kulowera Chiphunzitso Chatsopano , lofalitsidwa ndi Harvard University Press, adapeza kuti ogwira ntchito omwe amayang'ana chilungamo ndi chilungamo chifukwa cha kukhulupirika ndi kutsatira nthawi zambiri amakhala omwe amafotokoza kuzunzidwa ndi kuphwanya malamulo ndi machitidwe.

Kuyimba mluzu, malinga ndi zomwe semina ya Alford idachita, kuli ndi zotsatirapo zazikulu, kuphatikiza kubwezera mwa njira yakusiyidwa pamisonkhano, kuchotsedwa paukadaulo, komanso kudzipatula. Ngakhale mluzu nthawi zambiri amakondwerera mdera lalikulu chifukwa cha kulimba mtima kwake, kulimba mtima kwake kumatha kulangidwa kuntchito, popeza womuponderezayo amamuyesa wopotoka ndikupanga chisokonezo chosokoneza zomwe adayitanitsa. Miceli, Near, Rehg, ndi van Scotter adapeza mawu olimba mtima nawonso ngati chenjezo kwa ogwira ntchito ena omwe angafune kuwonekera poyera pakupanga zisankho ndi chilungamo pazolakwa. Zovuta zakudzipatula kwa owomba mluzu ndizofunikira, zomwe zimapangitsa anthu omwe anali athanzi kale kukhala ndi nkhawa, kuda nkhawa, kugona tulo, komanso mantha.

# 5. Ndi Zida Ziti Zomwe Zilipo Zothandizira Zolinga Zothana Ndi Kukongoletsa Zinthu?

Ntchito nthawi zambiri imapereka mwayi wothandizana nawo womwe umadutsa pamakoma amaofesi. Wopezerera anzawo atasokoneza chandamale ndikukakamiza ena kuti nawonso atenge nawo mbali, wopikirayo atha kudzazidwa ndi kudzimidwa. Kuti muyambenso kuyenda ndikupeza zotonthoza ndi chithandizo, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti pali malo angapo oti mungapezere chitonthozo.

Ogwira ntchito omwe amakhala nthawi yayitali kunja kwa ofesi ndikulimbikitsa maubwenzi m'magulu amitundu yosiyanasiyana amakhala mtundu wazodzitchinjiriza chifukwa chakusalidwa. Achibale komanso magulu omwe amapanga zinthu monga zosangalatsa, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, komanso kupembedza zimathandizira kuti omwe akufuna kukhala nawo azimva kukhala osungulumwa. Anthu omwe akuchitiridwa nkhanza kuntchito akawasiya, maukonde awo akunja amawathandiza kukwaniritsa zosowa zawo zazikulu.

Molet, Macquet, Lefebvre, ndi Williams adapeza kuyeserera kukhala njira yothandiza yochepetsera ululu wakusalidwa. Kupyolera muzochita kupuma, zikuluzikulu zimaphunzirira momwe zingaganizire pakadali pano m'malo mongounikira zowawa zakusalidwa pantchito.

Derrick, Gabriel, ndi Hugenberg akuwonetsa kuti opatsirana, kapena maubale ophiphiritsira omwe amapereka kulumikizana m'malo mwamalumikizidwe akuthupi, atha kuthandizanso kuchepetsa kupweteka kwakunyalanyazidwa. Omwe amayembekezera anzawo amakhala mgulu limodzi mwamagawo atatu. Pali Parasocial, momwe timalumikizana ndi anthu omwe sitikudziwa koma amatibweretsera chisangalalo, monga kuwonera wochita sewero wokonda kanema kapena kusangalala ndi konsati ya woimba wokondedwa. Chotsatira, pali Social World, momwe timapulumuka ndikukhazikika tikamapita ku chilengedwe china kudzera m'mabuku ndi kanema wawayilesi, monga, kukhala ku CS Lewis's Narnia. Pomaliza, pali Zikumbutso za Ena, pomwe timagwiritsa ntchito zithunzi, makanema apanyumba, zikumbutso, ndi makalata kulumikizana ndi anthu omwe timawakonda ndi omwe amatikondanso.

Ma surrogues awonetsedwanso kuti athandize omwe achitiridwa nkhanza, omwe amafunafuna chitonthozo kuchokera kuzinthu ndi miyambo, m'malo mozitsegulira kubwezera ubale wawo womwe ungawaike pachiwopsezo chobwezerezedwanso.

Ngakhale ena amaganiza kuti kudalira omwe amamuyang'anira ndi chisonyezo chakusokonekera komanso kusowa umunthu, kafukufuku waposachedwa akuwonetsa kuti opatsidwa mwayi wothandizirana ndi anzawo amakhudzana ndikukula kwachisoni, kudzidalira, komanso zina zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu akhale otukuka.

Mwachidule, kunyalanyazidwa kumapweteketsa, kufalikira, ndipo kumakhudza kwakanthawi wovutitsidwayo. Njira zochotsera anthu ena zitha kugwiritsidwa ntchito pokakamiza zikhalidwe zamagulu owopsa ndikulepheretsa ogwira ntchito kuyankhula motsutsana ndi kuphwanya malamulo ndi kupanda chilungamo. Kudzudzulidwa, pachimake pake, kumachotsa anthu zosowa zawo zofunikira, kudzidalira, kuwongolera, komanso kufunafuna moyo watanthauzo. Ntchito siyenera kukhala yopweteka.

Copyright (2020). A Dorothy Courtney Suskind, a Ph.D.

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