Mpulumutsi Wovuta

Poyamba, mawu oti "Saviour Complex" atha kukhala ndi tanthauzo labwino. Komabe, mukaphunzira zambiri za izi komanso zomwe zimalimbikitsa ena, zimawonekeratu kuti machitidwe awa akhoza kukhala ovuta.

Malinga ndi blog PeopleSkillsDecoded.com, malo opulumutsawo atha kutanthauziridwa bwino ngati "Kapangidwe ka malingaliro kamene kamapangitsa munthu kumva kufunika kopulumutsa anthu ena. Munthuyu ali ndi chizolowezi chofunafuna anthu omwe amafunikira thandizo kwambiri ndikuwathandiza, nthawi zambiri amaperekera zosowa zawo kwa anthu awa. ”

Anthu ambiri omwe amalowa ntchito zosamalira odwala monga chisamaliro cham'mutu, chisamaliro chamoyo ngakhale omwe ali ndi okondedwa awo omwe ali ndi vuto losokoneza bongo atha kukhala ndimikhalidwe imeneyi. Amakopeka ndi iwo omwe amafuna "kupulumutsa" pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana. Komabe, zoyesayesa zawo zothandiza ena zitha kukhala zopitilira muyeso zomwe zimawawononga komanso zitha kupangitsa winayo.

Chikhulupiriro chachikulu cha anthuwa ndi ichi: "Ndi chinthu chabwino kuchita." Amakhulupirira kuti ali bwino kuposa ena chifukwa amathandiza anthu nthawi zonse osabweza chilichonse. Vuto ndilakuti kuyesera "kupulumutsa" wina salola kuti mnzakeyo akhale ndi mlandu pazomwe achita ndikukhala ndi chidwi chamumtima. .

Mgwirizano Wachiwiri mwa Mapangano Anai olembedwa ndi Don Miguel Ruiz ndi wakuti "Osatengera Chilichonse Patokha." Chaputala cha bukuli ndi mawu otsatirawa akuphunzitsa mfundo zazikuluzikulu zomwe zitha kupereka chitsogozo kwa iwo omwe akulimbana ndi zizolowezi zopulumutsa:

“Simuli ndi udindo pa zochita za ena; Inu ndiudindo wanu. ”

“Chilichonse chomwe mungaganize, chilichonse chomwe mukumva, ndikudziwa kuti vuto lanu si vuto langa. Ndi momwe mumaonera dziko lapansi. Sichinthu chamwini, chifukwa mukuchita nanu, osati ndi ine. ”

"Anthu amakonda kuvutikira mosiyanasiyana komanso mosiyanasiyana, ndipo timathandizana kuti tikhale ndi zizolowezi izi"

Nanga njira zothetsera kupewa "mpulumutsi" ndi maubale ndi makasitomala ndi ziti?

• Chitani zomwe mumakonda ndi abwenzi, abale ndi / kapena ena ogwira nawo ntchito.
• Ikani malire ndi anthu ena omwe amakulolani kuti musamalire kuwasamalira ndikuyesera "kuwapulumutsa".
• Nenani kuti "mwina" kapena "ayi" musanayankhe kuti inde kuti mudzipatse nthawi yoti muganizire zosankha.
• Chepetsani mokwanira kuti muzisankha zosankha.
• Pezani thandizo kuchokera kwa wothandizira kapena wothandizira kuti mulandire kuwunika koyenera kwamunthu wanu.
• Lolani wokondedwa wanu, mnzanu ndi / kapena kasitomala atenge nawo gawo pazomwe akuchita.
• Musamagwire ntchito molimbika kuposa mnzanu, wokondedwa komanso / kapena kasitomala.
• Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti muthandize munthuyo kenako "kusiya" zotsatira zake.
• Kuperekanso tanthauzo la "kuthandiza" ndi "kusamalira."

Kodi “kuthandiza” kumatanthauza chiyani kwa inu komanso kwa munthu ameneyu?

• Kufunsa mafunso
• Kubwerera kumbuyo
• Kumvetsera mwachidule
• Kupereka masitepe ndi kuthana ndi luso m'malo mowagwirira ntchitoyo

Dzifunseni kuti:

• Kodi ndikuthandiza munthuyu popewa zovuta zachilengedwe?
• Kodi chisankhochi chapangidwa kuti akhale "achimwemwe" kapena ndi thanzi lawo lonse?
• Kodi zochita zanga zikuwathandiza kukhala bwino kapena ine ndikumva bwino?
• Kodi ndikuitanidwa kukathandiza?
• Kodi "ndikufuna" kapena ndiyenera kuchita izi?

Kodi mukuwopa chiyani pokana kuthandiza, ndipo mutha kuwatsutsa?

• Banja kapena ena sangandikonde.
• Anthu akhoza kudandaula kapena kusasangalala, kapena ntchito yanga ikhoza kukhala pachiwopsezo.
• Ndikumva ngati kuti sindikuchita bwino ngati wokondedwa kapena pantchito yanga.
• Ndikumva ngati sindingathe kuthandiza.
• Sindikuchita zonse zomwe ndingathe.
• Ndikusowa china chake chodziwikiratu.

Ruiz, Miguel. Mapangano Anayi: Upangiri Wothandiza ku Ufulu Wanu. Kusindikiza kwa Amber-Allen, 1997.