Kodi Ndinu Mwana Wovuta Kwambiri?

Ubongo wa anthu umasiyanasiyana. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti anthu ena amabadwa ndi minyewa yomwe imatha kuwapangitsa kukhala olimba mtima kapena aluntha, omvera, komanso otseguka kuzokopa zakunja kuposa anthu wamba.

Iwo akudziwa kwambiri za zinsinsi; ubongo wawo umagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso ndikuwunikiranso mozama. Mwa kuthekera kwawo, amatha kukhala ozindikira, achidziwitso, komanso oyang'anitsitsa zachilengedwe. Komabe nawonso amathedwa nzeru ndi mafunde osalekeza azikhalidwe komanso mphamvu zam'maganizo ndi zamatsenga za ena.

Kuyambira pomwe, mawonekedwe owoneka bwino komanso kukhala padziko lapansi sagawidwa ndi iwo owazungulira. Popeza amaganiza zambiri ndikumverera zambiri, amafikiranso pamalire awo mwachangu kwambiri. Amakhudzidwa mosavuta ndi malo omwe amakhala komanso omwe amawazungulira, omwe atha kukulitsa zovuta zamtundu uliwonse wamavuto kapena zosowa m'zaka zawo zoyambirira.

Zachisoni, chifukwa chakusazindikira komanso kumvetsetsa pabanja komanso mdziko lonse lapansi, ana ambiri okhwima akula ndikuphunzira kuti pali china chake cholakwika ndi iwo, kapena kuti ali ndi vuto linalake, kwambiri ', kapena ngakhale 'poizoni.'

​ "Ndine wosiyana, osati pang'ono '" - Mkulu wa Kachisi

MAAPULOSI AMENE AMAGWA PATALI MITENGO

Mavuto apadera amabwera mwana wobvutika maganizo atabadwira m'banja lomwe makolo kapena abale ake sagwira ntchito mofananamo.

M'ntchito yake yosatha 'Kutali ndi Mtengo,' Andrew Soloman amalankhula zakusiyana pakati pa cholowa chobadwa (chowongoka) komanso kudziyimira pawokha (kopingasa). Nthawi zambiri, ana ambiri amakhala ndi zikhalidwe zina ndi mabanja awo: Ana achikuda amabadwa kwa makolo amtundu; Anthu amene amalankhula Chigiriki amalera ana awo kuti azilankhula Chigiriki. Izi ndi zikhalidwe zimaperekedwa kuchokera kwa kholo kupita kwa mwana m'mibadwo yonse kudzera mu DNA ndi zikhalidwe. Komabe, ana sakhala ofanana ndi makolo awo nthawi zonse; atha kunyamula majini obwerera m'mbuyo komanso mikhalidwe yambiri yomwe munthu sangathe kuwalamulira. Wina akakhala ndi khalidwe lachilendo kwa kholo, limatchedwa 'chizindikiritso.' Zizindikiro zophatikizika zitha kuphatikizira kukhala amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kukhala ndi chilema, kukhala ndi autism, kukhala waluntha kapena waluso.

Zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kwa makolo aliwonse omwe amaphunzitsidwa ndi ana njira ndi zosowa zomwe sizachilendo kwa iwo. Mwana wamphongo wobadwira kwa makolo owongoka, mwachitsanzo, amakulitsa zovuta zambiri pakubwera kumvetsetsa ndikuvomereza. Zowonekera nthawi zambiri zimalemekezedwa ngati zizindikiritso; zopingasa zimawoneka ngati zolakwika. Njira zilizonse zosakhala zovomerezeka, kuphatikiza kukhala owonjezera pamaganizidwe komanso kutengeka, nthawi zambiri zimasokonezedwa ngati 'matenda' kuti akonzeke, m'malo mongodziwika kuti ndi ovomerezeka.

Chikhalidwe chathu chimagwira nawo gawo popititsa patsogolo kulumikizana uku. Pali china chake chachikale mumtundu wathu chomwe chimapangitsa anthu kukana zomwe sitidziwa. Ngakhale dziko lathu lonse lachita bwino kwambiri pakulekanitsa magawano pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, mtundu, ndi mtundu, kuzindikira ndi kulemekeza mikhalidwe ya "neuro-divergent" monga kutengeka kwamalingaliro sikunayambukire pagulu. Monga gulu timapitilizabe kudwala anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro, malingaliro, ubale komanso kukhala mdziko lapansi. Mothandizidwa ndi chikhalidwe chomwe sichitha kuphatikizira kusiyanasiyana, makolo ena afika pozindikira kuzindikirika kwa mwana wawo ngati vuto chabe komanso kulephera kapena kunyozedwa.

Zimatengera kulimba mtima kuti mabanja aphunzire kulekerera, kuvomereza, ndikumaliza kukondwerera ana omwe sizomwe anali nazo poyamba. Chowona kuti palibe "chitsogozo" chokhala kholo, makamaka ngati mwana wawo sangathe kuchitidwa m'njira zachilendo, zimasiya kusiyana kowawa pakati pa makolo ndi mwanayo. Andrew Solomon, yemwe adafunsa mafunso buku loposa 4000, adalemba kuti: Mabanja a ana okhudzidwa kwambiri amaperekedwa ndi mphanda mumsewu; Amatha kukana kapena kuwombera mwana wawo chifukwa chachilendo, kapena amadzipereka nadzilola kuti asinthidwe kwambiri ndi zomwe akumana nazo.

"'Anthu ali kuti?' Adayambiranso kalonga wamkulu pomaliza. 'Ndikusungulumwa pang'ono m'chipululu ...'
‘Umasungulumwa ukakhala pakati pa anthu, nawonso,’ inatero njokayo. ” --Antine de Saint-Exupéry, Kalonga Wamng'ono

ZINTHU ZOPANDA CHINTHU ZOPHUNZITSIDWA NDI MWANA WABWINO

Ngati mwakhala omvera komanso otakasuka m'moyo wanu wonse, mutha kuzindikira zina mwa zokumana nazo muli mwana:

KUGONJEDWA

Kuyambira pakubadwa, ana okhwima amakhala ndi malire olimbikira kwambiri. Amamva phokoso lokomoka, amamva kununkhira kosazindikirika ndikuwona kusintha kosazindikira kwambiri m'malo awo. Amatha kupeza zakudya zina zokoma kwambiri, kapena sangathe kuvala nsalu zina.

Amatha kumva kutengeka kwa anthu ena, mapokoso ndi zinthu zina zachilengedwe monga momwe zimafikira komanso mkati mwawo, kapena kuti zimaphatikizana ndi omwe amakumana nawo. Kunyumba, amamva kusintha kulikonse komanso kutulutsa mawu mosintha malingaliro a makolo awo ndipo amasunthidwa mosalekeza ndi zochitika zomwe sizimakhudza abale awo.

Ana akuthwa kwambiri amachita khama kwambiri. Amayesetsa nthawi zonse kudziwa njira zoyenera kuchita ndipo amatha kudzivutikira. Mwachitsanzo, amakhala ndi maudindo ambiri m'maubwenzi. Mikangano ikabuka, amamaliza msanga kuti achita china chake cholakwika, ndipo amakhudzidwa ndikudzidzudzula, komanso manyazi.

Kugwedezeka mosalekeza ndikupyozedwa ndimphamvu zawo ndi zochitika zowazungulira, ana awa sangapeze konse mwayi wamaganizidwe kapena chithandizo kuti athe kulimba mtima. Ngakhale atakula, amatha kukhala osakhazikika komanso osazungulira; ndipo m'kupita kwanthawi, ambiri amavutika ndi ululu wamthupi, mphamvu zoponderezedwa komanso kutopa.

KUMVA KUTI NDI WOKHA PAMODZI

Mwana wolimba amakhala ndi chidziwitso chozama. Amamva kupweteka kwa dziko lapansi, padziko lonse lapansi komanso padziko lonse lapansi. Amadzimva kukhala osungulumwa kuti ndi okhawo omwe amadziwa zomwe zikuchitika pansi pa mawonekedwe azikhalidwe ndi mgwirizano; ambiri amadzimvanso olakwa chifukwa cholephera kuthetsa ululu ndi kuvutika komwe amawona.

Pamalo ena, amakhala okhwima kuposa anzawo. Ndi msinkhu wamaganizidwe ndi uzimu womwe ndi wakale kuposa wawo weniweni, 'mizimu yakale' iyi imamva kuti sinakhalepo ndi mwana. Ana amphatso, makamaka akamakalamba msinkhu, amapeza kuti achikulire omwe akuyang'anira sali oyenera kuwongolera.

Ngakhale amawoneka odziyimira pawokha, pansi pa miyoyo yachinyamatayi amakhala ndi chidwi cha wina yemwe angamudalire kwathunthu, kumugwirizana, kuti athe kumasuka ndikusamalidwa. Monga momwe mwana m'modzi adanenera, amamva "ngati alendo osiyidwa akudikirira sitima yapamadzi kuti ibwere kudzawatenga kwawo" (Webb, 2008).

Kulimba mtima kwa mwana komanso nzeru zake zimawapatsanso moyo wamkati wolemera komanso wowunikira womwe sanagawidwe ndi iwo. Amalimbana ndi zovuta zomwe zilipo monga moyo ndi imfa komanso tanthauzo la moyo ndipo amadzipeza ali m'dziko lopanda tanthauzo komanso lopanda tanthauzo lomwe sangasinthe. Komabe, akamayesa kuuza ena zakukhosi kwawo, nthawi zambiri amakhumudwa kapena kudana nawo. Popanda wina wolumikizana nawo mpaka kuzomwe ali, kapena kuzindikira chidzalo cha omwe ali, amakhala osungulumwa osungulumwa kufikira atakula.

"Nthawi zina zimawoneka kwa iye kuti moyo wake ndiwosakhwima ngati dandelion. Kukoka pang'ono kuchokera kwina kulikonse, ndipo kumawombedwa pang'ono." -Katherine Paterson, Bridge kupita ku Terabithia

ATHAleka KUDZIDALIRA NOKHA NDI ENA

Ana olimbikira amakhala tcheru kuzinyengo, kuzunzika, mikangano, ndi zovuta za malo owazungulira, ngakhale asanazifotokozere mozama kapena kuthana nazo.

Mwana wamphatso waluntha amadabwitsidwa ndi kutsutsana pakati pa kugwedezeka kwamalingaliro komwe amapeza kuchokera kwa akulu ndi mawonekedwe awo: Amawona kudzera mumaso oyenera, kumwetulira mokakamizidwa, kapena mabodza oyera. Kusiyanaku kumapangitsa kuti mwana asamakhulupirire. Kuwona chisalungamo ndi chinyengo cha anthu mwachangu kwambiri zimawathandizanso kumva kutaya mtima komanso kukayikira.

Ngati atayesa kugawana zomwe amawona, amatsekedwa, atha kuyamba kukayikira kuweruza kwawo, nzeru zawo, ngakhale kulondola kwawo. Akhozanso kudzimvera chisoni chifukwa chodziwiratu izi. Akapanda kupeza aliyense amene amamvetsetsa zenizeni zawo, atha kusankha - ngakhale mosazindikira athetsa kulingalira kwawo ndi momwe akumvera, ndikukhala achinyamata kapena achikulire omwe sadziwa choti akhulupirire, asankhe bwanji, kapena ndani angamudalire.

KUYAMBIRA KUSINTHA

Kuphatikiza ndi kuwona mtima kwakukulu, kuzindikira kumatha kubweretsa zovuta pakati pa anthu. Mwana wolimba mtima amakakamizika kunena zomwe akudziwa ndipo sakufuna kusewera masewerawa. Zachisoni, kunena kwawo zowona nthawi zambiri sikusangalatsa padziko lapansi.

Monga amithenga achowonadi chovuta, akuwadzudzula kuti adayambitsa chisokonezo. Mwakutero, amapatsa chisokonezo koma choyipitsitsa, amaseka. Kunyumba, amasandulika mbuzi. Kusukulu, amakhala chandamale cha ovutitsa anzawo kapena amatsitsidwa kwa omwe atayidwa pamphepete mwa timagulu ta masukulu.

Kusankha pakati pa kutsimikizika kwawo ndi kuvomereza kwa anthu ena ndizovuta kwambiri kwa wachinyamata aliyense. Mwana wamkulu atha kukula amadzimva kukhala wopanda nkhawa zakusiyana kwawo ndi ena, mopitirira muyeso, ena amakhulupirira kuti mwanjira inayake ndi 'owopsa' kapena owopsa, ndipo amakhala ndi mantha nthawi zonse kuthamangitsidwa m'banja lawo kapena pagulu lawo.

"The Potters adamwetulira ndikuweyulira Harry ndipo adawayang'anitsitsa mwachidwi, manja ake adakanikizana ndi galasiyo ngati kuti akuyembekeza kugwa ndikufikira iwo. Anali ndi vuto lamphamvu mkati mwake, theka chisangalalo , wachisoni kwambiri. " - J.K. Kuwombera, Harry Potter ndi Mwala wa Wamatsenga

KUMVETSERA KUTI ALI "OCHULUKA"

Ana okhwima kwambiri amafunikira kwambiri. Kuyambira ali aang'ono, amakhala ndi zovuta zakuchita kwawo ndipo amakhumba zokambirana zolimbikitsa, kulingalira mozama ndi mayankho ku tanthauzo la moyo. Moyo wawo wamkati umadzazidwa ndi nkhawa zamakhalidwe, zikhulupiriro zamphamvu, malingaliro abwino, kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa komanso kukakamizidwa. Komabe, popanda kumvetsetsa kokwanira kuchokera kwa achikulire owazungulira, amatha kumvedwa kuti ndi ovuta mwadala. Zotsatira zake, zosowa zawo zachilengedwe zokwanira zolimbikitsira ndi kuthandizira zitha kuchotsedwa kapena kutayidwa.

Ngakhale ndi makolo othandizira kwambiri omwe amatsimikizira kukhudzidwa kwawo komanso kuthamanga kwawo, ana ambiri olimba amadziwa kuti mwanjira inayake ndi 'ochulukirapo' kwa iwo owazungulira. Atha kutsutsidwa momveka bwino, kapena kungokanidwa kwathunthu chifukwa chofuna kwambiri, kuyenda mwachangu kwambiri, kukhala osazindikira, owopsa, osavuta kugwedezeka, kapena oleza mtima. Pozindikira kuti umunthu wawo ukhoza kukhala wopondereza kwa ena, atha kusankha kusiya pang'onopang'ono, kuti apange 'chinyengo,' ndikuchepetsa kukondweretsedwa ndi chidwi chawo.

"Ndipo Max, mfumu yazinthu zonse zakutchire, anali wosungulumwa ndipo amafuna kukhala komwe munthu amamukonda kuposa onse." --Maurice Sendak, Komwe Kumalo Akuthengo

KUMAKUMBUKIRA MWANA WAMPHAMVU MWA INU

Nyumba yanu itha kukhala kapena mwina sinali malo anu amoyo wachangu, wolimba komanso waluso. (M'kalata yotsatira, tikambirana za zovuta zina zakubanja zomwe ana okonda anzawo achifundo nthawi zambiri amalowamo). Kukhala wosiyana kumatha kukhala wekhawekha, koma kuvutika kwenikweni kumabwera chifukwa chokhala ndi malingaliro oti iwe, monga munthu, mulibe 'chabwino.'

Ngati moyo wanu wonse mumamverera ngati a Martian omwe atengedwa ukapolo padziko lapansi, zingatenge nthawi kuti musangodziwa komanso kumva mumtima mwanu kuti kukhala wolimba si matenda. Kukhala wolimbikira kumadza ndi luso komanso mikhalidwe yamtengo wapatali kwambiri. Muli ndi kuthekera kwakukulu koti mumvetsetse ndikumvera ena chisoni, komanso mutha kulingalira za malingaliro anu, zolinga zanu, ndi zokhumba zanu. M'mbiri yonse, kulimba nthawi zambiri kumalumikizidwa ndi mitundu ina ya maluso apadera pankhani zanyimbo, zojambulajambula, zamasewera, komanso zaluso. Zosangalatsa zanu sizimangokhudzana kwambiri ndi mphatso; ali mphatso mwa iwo okha. Zili ndi inu tsopano, kupereka malo abwino kwa mwana wanu wamkati. Nthawi ino, pansi pa mapiko anu, atha kukhala ndiubwana wathanzi, wotetezeka, komanso wosangalatsa.

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Moyo wanu wolimba ndiwopanda tanthauzo.

Ngakhale mutayesetsa kutseka bwanji, kuyeserera, kunamizira kuti kulibe,

chikhalidwe chake chodzidzimutsa nthawi zonse chimasweka.

Nthawi zina, chowonadi chanu chimakuzembera

mwa mawonekedwe amantha, chikondi, kudabwa, ndi chisangalalo.

Ndizokakamiza kwambiri kotero kuti palibe chochita koma kudzipereka kukatsitsimuka.

Kwa mphindi yamtengo wapatali imeneyo, mumamva kuti ndinu munthu wakuya kwambiri, osadodometsedwa.

Khalani ndi moyo wanu wamtchire, wosangalatsa, wokonda.

Mwana wolimbikira mkati mwanu akuyembekezera, pomalizira pake,

kumvedwa, kuwonedwa, ndi kukumbatiridwa momwe alili.

“Ndiwe wodabwitsa. Ndinu wapadera. M'zaka zonse zapitazi, sipanakhalepo mwana wina ngati inu. Miyendo yanu, mikono yanu, zala zanu zanzeru, momwe mumasunthira. Mutha kukhala a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. Mutha kuchita chilichonse. ” --Henry David Thoreau