Nchiyani Chimapangitsa Munthu Kukhala Wabwino Pogona?

Zamkati

• Ubale Ofunika Amawerengedwa
• Kuyang'ana Chikondi Paintaneti Pa Lockdown

"Ngakhale amuna azichita zachinyengo pa kama, sizimandisangalatsa popanda kukondana." —A wamasiye

“Munthu amene amagona pabedi samafika pachimake pamaso panga. Malingana ngati sakufika pachimake, amayesetsa kwambiri kugonana. Ndikamamwa umuna, nthawi zonse ndimaona kuti sakondanso. ” —Mkazi wokwatiwa

Amuna ambiri amakonda kumva kuti ali "pabedi pabwino." Komabe kodi chinthu chabwino chotere, chitha kukhala choipa?

Ukadaulo Wodziwa Zambiri ndi Kukondana Kwazomwe Zimakhudzidwa

“Azimayi amatha kunamizira zibwenzi. Koma amuna akhoza kupanga zibwenzi. ” —Sharon Mwala

Kukhala bwino pabedi kumafunikira mikhalidwe iwiri yapakatikati: Njira Yazidziwitso ndi Chidwi Chokhazikika pa Chidwi.

Njira Yophunzitsira imatanthawuza zinthu zakuthupi monga nthawi, momwe mungakhudzire mnzanu, komanso malingaliro, monga nthawi, momwe mungayankhire, ndi zomwe munganene kwa mnzanu. Njira yabwino imathandizira amuna kudikirira ndikutuluka kwawo mpaka mkazi atafika pachimake, kapena kuimitsa kwa nthawi yayitali, potero kumapangitsa kuti pakhale kulowerera kosatha kwa maola ambiri.

Kukondana kokhazikika pamalingaliro kumavuta kwambiri ndipo kumaphatikizapo kuyandikana kwambiri, komwe kumakhudzana ndikumvana. Kusakhala pachibwenzi nthawi zambiri kumayenderana ndi kugonana koyipa. Monga mkazi wokwatiwa adati: "Dzulo usiku ndidagonana ndi mwamuna wanga koma samandigwira - adangolowa. Ndinamva chisoni kwambiri, ndikanatha kulira. ” Kugonana sikutanthauza kungolowera; Kumaphatikizaponso kukondana komanso kukondana pakati pa anthu okwatirana.

Njira Yodziwitsa Amatanthauza njira yogonana kapena mchitidwe wogwiritsidwa ntchito, wogwiritsidwa ntchito komanso wosasinthidwa kwa bwenzi lililonse, pomwe kuyanjana kumafotokoza tanthauzo la kukondana-mgwirizano wapakati pa okondana. Njirayi imatha kuphunziridwa ndikuwongoleredwa kudzera pazomwe mukukumana nazo komanso kuphunzira. Komabe, chibwenzi sichinthu choti muphunzire, koma kuti chikulitsidwe kudzera muubwenzi wapamtima.

Ndizovuta kunamizira njirayi-mwina mumadziwa kapena simukudziwa-koma ndikosavuta kuyipeza kudzera mukubwereza mobwerezabwereza ndikuphunzira. Ndikosavuta kubisalira pachiyambi cha chibwenzi, koma ndizovuta kuzinamizira kwa nthawi yayitali. Amayi osazindikira amazindikira malingaliro abodza mwachangu, ngakhale njira yabwino kwambiri itazindikiritsa zovuta.

Kupirira Chibwenzi

"Chosangalatsa changa chachikulu chinali pamene wokondedwa wanga anati:" ndinu anga, inenso ndine wanu "." —Mkazi wokwatiwa.

“Mnzanga amene ndinkamukonda sanathenso kumuganizira nthawi yomwe anali ndi vuto lomweli. Liwiro lomwe adandisiya m'maganizo ndi mwathupi linali losaneneka. Adatuluka pakama kukamwa kena ndipo sanabwerere pakama. ” —Wosudzulana

Zinthu ziwiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu azigonana sizitsutsana: Munthu atha kukhala ndi luso komanso kukhazikika pachibwenzi. Komabe, luso labwino nthawi zambiri limasokoneza kukhazikitsidwa kwaubwenzi wapamtima.

Pali zifukwa zingapo izi. Choyamba, amuna omwe amadziona kuti ndi akatswiri azakugonana amalemekeza kwambiri maluso awo pabedi, potero amadzipangitsa kukhala odziyimira pawokha. Zotsatira zake, amatha kunyalanyaza kukondana. Kusamvana kwina kumachitika munthu akamayamba: ena amasangalala ndi zochitika zogonana mwachidule, motero, alibe chisonkhezero chofunikira kuti agwiritse ntchito pokhalira ndiubwenzi wokhalitsa (makamaka chifukwa chakuti ukatswiri wawo ukufunidwa kwambiri). Zitha kukhalanso choncho kuti anthuwa amakhala akatswiri pazogonana makamaka chifukwa choopa kukondana, ndipo motero amafunafuna kulumikizana kwakanthawi kochepa.

Kukondana kwakukulu kumazindikira pakati pa kugonana kwabwino ndi kugonana kosachita manyazi kuti ndizabwino kwambiri. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti nthawi yochulukitsa ndalama isanakwane, nthawi, komanso pambuyo poti agonane imalimbikitsa kukondana komanso kukondana. Pali kulumikizana pakati pa ubale wabwino ndi zinthu zakanthawi, monga nthawi ya chibwenzi, nthawi yogwiritsidwa ntchito pakugonana, komanso nthawi yayitali yokhudzana ndi chibwenzi.

Kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yochulukirapo kumakhala kosemphana ndi cholinga komanso kogonana kwa akatswiri ochita zogonana. Njirayi imatsimikizira kukhutira pomwepo; mosiyana, chibwenzi chimatsimikizira ngati mukufuna kuwawona m'mawa mwake.

Kugonana kwathu kunali kopatsa chidwi, koma kutali ndi chilengedwe

Mkazi wosudzulidwa, atachita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna, adafotokozera mwachidule zomwe adakumana nazo motere:

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Kuyang'ana Chikondi Paintaneti Pa Lockdown