Pamene Kuonera Sikutanthauza Kugonana

Zamkati

• Mfundo zazikuluzikulu
• Zifukwa zosagonana zomwe zimapangitsa anthu kubera

Mfundo zazikuluzikulu

• Anthu amanyenga abwenzi awo pazifukwa zambiri zomwe sizimachokera pachigololo.
• Anthu ali ndi zochitika mosasamala za chibwenzi kapena kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana.
• Zifukwa zosagonana zomwe anthu amabera anzawo zimayamba monga kudzikhutiritsa, kubwezera, komanso zosowa zosasangalatsa pakukhala limodzi.
• Kungonena kuti "onyenga amabera" sizimayambira pazomwe zimayambitsa mavuto azachuma.

"Ankagonana ndi mlembi wake."

"Ankagonana ndi woyang'anira dimba ine ndikugwira ntchito."

"Iye anali ____ing mnyamata aliyense yemwe amamupeza kumbuyo kwanga."

"Sakanatha kuzisunga m'matumba mwake."

Nthawi zambiri, nkhani zakusakhulupirika zimakhazikika pamakhalidwe azakugonana. Nthawi zambiri mnzanuyo amafotokoza za mnzakeyo "Amadzidalira" kapena "Amafuna kukambirana momasuka mosiyanasiyana." Ndikosavuta kuyambitsa chiwerewere kuti mupeze chidwi ndi anzanu. "Sakanatha kuzisunga mu mathalauza ake" amamumvera mosavuta kuposa "Amakhala ndi nkhawa." Inde, chibwenzi nthawi zambiri chimakhudza machitidwe ogonana, koma nthawi zambiri kugonana sikamakhala chifukwa chamakhalidwe osakhulupirika.

Ngakhale zochitika zina zimachitika chifukwa cha zilakolako zosagwirizana ndi kugonana kapena kusowa chidwi chogonana, anthu amachita zosakhulupirika pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana zosagwirizana mwachindunji ndi chilakolako chogonana. Kuphatikiza apo, anthu omwe amabera mayeso atha kutero mosasamala za chibwenzi kapena kugonana. M'maphunziro anga omwe amakhudzana ndi mbiri yakugonana ya omwe adachita nawo kafukufukuyu, ndadziwitsidwa pazifukwa zingapo zakusakhulupirika kuchokera kwa omwe anafunsidwa omwe amanamizira anzawo.

Zifukwa zosagonana zomwe zimapangitsa anthu kubera

Zina mwazifukwa zosagonana zomwe anthu amabera anzawo ndi monga:

• Kubwezera. Pakuwonetsa zamphamvu pagulu, ndi chilango kwa mnzake yemwe akuwoneka kuti wachita cholakwika. Mwina adabera, ndiye mukubera kuti muwabwezere. Ndipo sizimakhudzana ndi kugonana. Chitha kukhala china kupatula kugona ndi munthu wina poyankha kuti agonane ndi wina. Mwina, adalandira kuyitanidwa kwaphwando kuchokera kwa wakale ndipo, kuti muwabwezeretse, mumamuyitanitsa wokondedwa wanu kudzadya nawo. Pazochitika zonsezi, chifukwa cha nsanje, wokondedwa aliyense angaone ngati izi ndi kubera. Mwina mnzanu amakunyalanyazani ndipo mumakankhira envelopu patali kwambiri poyesa kuti akuwoneni. Palibe chomwe chingapangitse wina wanu wofunika kukudziwani ngati kukayikirana kapena umboni wosakhulupirika. Poterepa, sizingakhale kukhudzana kwenikweni ndi wina. Anthu ena asiya laputopu yawo poyera kuti iwonetse kukambirana pa intaneti ndi munthu yemwe sanakumanepo naye. Kungakhale kovuta kwambiri kuthana ndi mavuto muubwenzi pomwe kubera kozindikira kumayambira njiru.
• Ego. Anthu ena amadziona ngati mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu kwa ena. Chosowa chawo chodyetsa kudzikhutiritsa mwakugonana, zogonana kapena zina, zimaposa kudalirana, kukondana, kapena kukhala bwino kwa ubale wawo.
• Anagwa chifukwa cha chikondi. Nthawi zina munthu amayamba chibwenzi chatsopano osathetsa chibwenzi chomwe chilipo. Atha kukhala kuti akukondana ndi wokondedwa wawo wapano ndipo sangakhale otsimikiza kuti apitiliza bwanji chibwenzi. Zomwe amadziwa ndikuti amafuna wina watsopano ndipo samazengereza kuyamba ubalewo asanathetse winayo.
• Kutalikirana. Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe anthu amazilingalira posankha zokhala pachibwenzi ndi wina ndiye kufunika kwake. Kodi munthu wokondweretsayo amakhala pafupi ndi iwo? Momwemonso, kutchuka kumakhala ndi gawo pakusankha kubera ngati mnzake wapamtima ali patali ndipo chidwi chapafupi chili pafupi. Kusungulumwa nthawi zambiri kumawonjezeranso mukamakambirana nkhani zamtunda.
• Kulephera kuchita. Pali nkhani zambiri za anthu omwe amatenga gawo lokwatirana koma osadzipereka. Kulephera kudzipereka sikungosungidwa kokha kwa anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi. Kaya muli pachibwenzi kapena muli pabanja, kuda nkhawa za kudzipereka kumatha kuwonekera m'njira zingapo; Kubera ndichinthu chimodzi.
• Kufunika kwa zosiyanasiyana. Zosiyanasiyana ndi zonunkhira za moyo. Nthawi zina chinyengo chimagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi omwe amabera. Sindikulankhula zakugonana pano (ngakhale chifukwa chake nthawi zambiri chimanenedwa). Izi zikuphatikiza zosowa zosiyanasiyana zakugonana, zokambirana, ndi zochitika zomwe wina wamkulu sangathe kapena sakufuna kuchita. Zina mwazinthu zowonjezerazi zitha kuwonedwa ndi mnzanu ngati zosavomerezeka komanso kusakhulupirika. Wokondedwayo akuchita izi akhoza kuziwona chimodzimodzi.
• Nkhani zodzidalira. Izi zikukhazikitsa malo oyeserera. Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto lodzidalira, monga kukalamba kapena zovuta zokhudzana ndi thupi, atha kukhala ndi kufunikira koti amve ngati akufunidwa ndi ena okondedwa. Sizitanthauza kuti azigonana ndi ena, koma amadziyika m'malo omwe amapezako chidwi chomwe angawononge chibale chawo. Amatha kukopana ndikuwapangitsa ena kukhulupirira kuti alipo kuti apeze chidwi. Kukopana kumawoneka ndi anzawo ngati kubera.Komabe, dziwani kuti, kukhala ndi winawake amene akufuna kuti mugonane kumalimbikitsa kwambiri, mwina kwakanthawi, kudzidalira.
• Kutopa. Amangonyong'onyeka. Amayesetsa kuthana ndi zibwenzi, kusewera masewera owopsa, kapena kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti ndikupanga malumikizidwe osangalatsa. Msinkhu wa intaneti wapereka njira zambiri zachinyengo ndi kutha kwa kunyong'onyeka.
• Uwu wokhadzula kwa wokondedwa wawo. Monga tanena kale, anthu ena atha ndi chibwenzi ndikusunthira kwa wina popanda kuthetsa maubwenzi apano. Nthawi zina anthu samadziwa momwe angathetsere chibwenzicho kapena amaopa kuzichita okha, kotero amakhala ndi chibwenzi ndikukakamiza wokondedwa wawo kuti athetse.
• Chikhalidwe. Kaya pantchito kapena pakati pa anzako, nthawi zina wina amawona kuti ayenera kukhala ndiudindo womwe umaphatikizapo kubera. Zachidziwikire, molumikizana ndi miyezo iwiri yakugonana, kuonera monga gawo la chikhalidwe chanu kumaonedwa kuti ndi kovomerezeka kwa amuna kuposa akazi.
• Zosagwirizana ndi zosowa. Sikuti nthawi zonse zimakhudzana ndi kugonana. Nthawi zambiri zimakhudza kukhudzidwa. Ngati mnzanu wapano sakumulimbikitsa, wina akhoza. Kwa anthu ena, kusakhulupirika m'malingaliro kumatha kukhala kovulaza kwambiri pachibwenzi kuposa kugonana.
• Mwayi. Mwayi ulipo: kodi mumawutenga kapena mumawuphonya? Ndi mabanja angati omwe adasewera seweroli motere “Mukadakhala ndi mwayi wogona ndi (onjezani anthu omwe mumawakonda pano) mukadachita kuseri kwanga?” Kapenanso, atawonera kanemayo "Proposal Proposal," adafunsa ngati winayo agone ndi munthu wina madola miliyoni. A Spoiler Alert: Zinthu sizinayende bwino mufilimuyi. Ndipo funso silimakhala bwino nthawi zonse pokambirana. Komabe, nthawi zina si masewera, ndipo mwayi umatengedwa ukaperekedwa.
• Mowa. Inde, ndichifukwa chodziwika chomwe chidatchulidwa. Mowa nthawi zambiri umakhala mbuzi yachizolowezi - "Sindikadachita ndikadakhala kuti sindidakhumudwa."
• Zosangalatsa. Kusakhulupirika ndichinthu chosangalatsa kwa anthu ena. Amangokhalira kukondweretsedwa ndikubera ndi chiopsezo chogwidwa. Nthawi iliyonse akachoka ndi zolakwika zawo, amakhala othamanga mofanana ndi zomwe ena amakumana nazo parachuti atatseguka kwinakwake.
• Kusagwirizana. Momwe mudakulira komanso kucheza nawo m'malo omwe mudakali achichepere atha kukhala ndi gawo lachitetezo chazachipongwe kapena ayi. Mukadakhala kuti mumadziwa za makolo anu kukhala osakhulupirika, ndipo popanda zotsatirapo zake, mutha kukhala otengeka kwambiri kuti muzitsatira zomwezo ngati wamkulu.

Mndandandawu suyenera kupereka zifukwa zoyenera zosakhulupirika. Ndi zifukwa zingapo zomwe ofufuza omwe adachita mu ntchito yanga amati adabera anzawo. Chizindikiro chonena kuti "onyenga amabera" ngati chowonadi popanda tanthauzo lina chasokonekera pano. Kungowanyalanyaza nthawi yomweyo iwo omwe amachita zosakhulupirika ngati ali ndi zofooka pamtundu wawo ndikupewa zomwe zilipo. Kuzindikira zifukwa zomwe anthu amabera mwachinyengo kumathandizira kuti kufufuzaku ku psychology komanso kusintha kwachikhalidwe chawo.