5 Mafunso Omwe Timakonda Kudzifunsa Patokha Patatha Kukhumudwitsa

Zamkati

• Funso 1: "Kodi ndikungokhala wopupuluma?"
• Funso lachiwiri: "Kodi ndingochokapo osayanjananso ndi anthu otere?"
• Funso 3: "Kodi ndili ndi udindo wolankhula, kuteteza anthu anga, ndikuphunzitsa?"
• Funso 4: "Kodi ndiyenera kukhala 'waulemu' kapena 'waluso' kwambiri ndikamalankhula?"
• Funso 5: "Kodi ndangolephera anthu anga chifukwa chosalankhula komanso kuphunzitsa?"
• Kulimbikira Kupitilira

Malinga ndi Dr. Derald Wing Sue, "ma microcgression ndi omwe amafotokozedwa mwachidule, mwamakhalidwe, komanso zachilengedwe tsiku lililonse - kaya mwadala kapena mwangozi - zomwe zimafotokozera zaukali, zonyoza, kapena kusankhana mitundu (mwachitsanzo, ' Mumalankhula kwambiri, simumalankhula ngati munthu wakuda. ' ), jenda (mwachitsanzo, ' Mumaponya ngati mtsikana. ’ ), malingaliro azakugonana (mwachitsanzo, ' Ameneyo ndi amuna okhaokha! ' ), ndi achipembedzo (mwachitsanzo, Kunena) Khrisimasi yabwino!' kwa Msilamu) zonyoza komanso zonyoza munthu amene akulimbana naye kapena gulu lake. "

Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti anthu omwe ali m'magulu oponderezedwa nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi zovuta zazambiri pamoyo wawo watsiku ndi tsiku. Zochitika izi zatchedwa "mvula yochepetsetsa" ndi mnzanga komanso mnzanga Dr. Kevin Nadal, katswiri wodziwa zaumbanda. Inemwini, ndakhala ndikucheperako mvula yambiri, ndipo pansipa pali zomwe zandichitikira posachedwa zomwe zidandipangitsa kusankha ma microaggressions ngati mutu wanga woyamba " Zosaoneka ndi Zosamveka " gawo:

Kwa masabata angapo apitawa, ine ndi 17 atsogoleri ena am'deralo omwe tasankhidwa takhala tikutenga nawo mbali pamisonkhano ndi bungwe loyang'anira zamalamulo. Atamvetsera nkhani yonena za "White-Collar crime" yomwe olakwirawo onse anali amitundu yaying'ono (pafupifupi 90% anali aku Philippines-America ndipo ena onse anali aku Korea-America komanso Pacific Islanders), "mtsogoleri wina" ,

“Kodi anthuwa anali zigawenga komwe amachokera — monga ku Philippines — asanabwere kuno? Kodi akungoweta zigawenga kumeneko? Kodi kumeneko kuli sukulu yaupandu yomwe imaphunzitsa anthuwa? ”

Izi zidatsatiridwa ndi kuseka ndi anzanga ambiri "atsogoleri ammudzi," onse omwe ndi azungu. Kuseka koteroko kumamveka ngati kuwaza kwampweya wochepa pambuyo pa namondwe woyamba.

Monga bambo waku Philippines waku America yemwe adachoka ku Philippines, izi zidandibweretsera nkhawa komanso mkwiyo mkati mwanga. Panali mawu mkati mwanga omwe anali kukuwa kuti:

"Kodi sukundiona pano?!?!" (Kodi sindikuwoneka nonse?)

"Kodi simukumbukira kuti ndidakuwuzaninso zonse zomwe ndimachokera ku Philippines waku America?!?!" (Kodi sindimveka nonse inu?)

Izi zidangofanana ndi msonkhano wapitawu pomwe "atsogoleri ammudzi" omwewa adapereka ndemanga zopanda pake zokhudzana ndi othawa kwawo komanso othawa kwawo. Kotero ine ndinadzizindikira ndekha ndikuganiza, "Tayambanso."

Ndimayang'anitsitsa malingaliro anga ndi momwe ndimamvera, ndipo ndidazindikira kuti ndimadutsanso munthawi yomweyo, mayendedwe, ndikulimbana-mafunso omwewo-mobwerezabwereza nditakumana ndi vuto laling'ono. Msonkhanowo utangotha, ndidafunsira a Micro Sgbrocess Process Model (MPM) a Dr.

Pazaka zingapo zapitazi, kuzindikira kwa anthu zazing'onozing'ono komanso malingaliro ake ambiri kwakula. Komabe, zokambirana zamkati ndi zovuta zamaganizidwe zomwe ma microcgressions omwe amachititsa anthu oponderezedwa sizimakambidwa kawirikawiri ndikukhalabe ambiri “Zosaoneka ndi Zosamveka” ndi anthu onse.

Chifukwa chake ndimaganiza kuti kugawana zina mwazomwe ndakumana nazo motsogozedwa ndi MPM zitha kukhala zothandiza kwa anthu ambiri omwe amakumana ndi ma microaggressions pafupipafupi. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, zitha kutsimikizira zokumana nazo za anthu ndikuwapangitsa kudzimva kukhala osungulumwa. Chifukwa chake, ili ndi mafunso asanu omwe timadzifunsa tikakumana ndi ma microaggressions.

Funso 1: "Kodi ndikungokhala wopupuluma?"

Aliyense amene wakumanapo ndi vuto locheperako mwina adzifunsa funso ili. Apa ndipamene timayesa kudziwa ngati ndemanga kapena machitidwewo adalimbikitsidwa ndi mtundu wina wamagulu okondera kapena ngati amayendetsedwa ndi malingaliro olakwika pagulu lathu. Kuchokera pazomwe ndidakumana nazo zaposachedwa, zikuwonekeratu kuti inali yaying'ono, chifukwa chake funsoli linali losavuta kuyankha panthawiyi. Komabe, ma microaggressions nthawi zambiri samakhala owonekera komanso odulidwa bwino. M'malo mwake, ngakhale zondichitikira zaposachedwa zitha kutanthauziridwa ngati nthabwala zomwe zimayenera kungolekedwa osazitenga mozama.

Kutanthauzira ma microaggressions munjira zotsutsa ndi zochepetsera izi kumatha kudzipangitsa kudziimba mlandu: "Oo, ndilo vuto langa, ndikungokhala wopanikizika kwambiri komanso wosasamala." Maganizo awa ndiowopsa chifukwa atipangitsa kuti tidzisinthe tokha, kuphunzira kulolera kuponderezana, m'malo mongopondereza ndi machitidwe opondereza ndi omwe akuyenera kusintha. Chifukwa chake, kugonjera “Ndimangokhala wamisala komanso wonyanyira” Nkhaniyo itha kulimbikitsa ma microaggressions mosazindikira chifukwa sanatsutsidwe.

Ngakhale palibe yankho lomveka bwino, losavuta ku funsoli, ndimakhulupirira kuti ndimakhala ndi paranoia yathanzi ndipo ndimakonda kuvomereza zenizeni zanga kuti ndisadziimbe mlandu pazomwe zachitika. Monga ananenera Dr. Sue, ngakhale kuti "mphamvu nthawi zambiri imagwirizanitsidwa ndi mphamvu zachuma komanso zankhondo ... 'mphamvu zenizeni zimakhala ndi kutanthauzira zenizeni." Kuyitanira ndi kuyimirira nthawi yaying'ono ndi njira zazing'ono koma zamphamvu momwe anthu oponderezedwa amatha kupeza mphamvu ndikukhala omveka ndikutsimikizika.

Funso lachiwiri: "Kodi ndingochokapo osayanjananso ndi anthu otere?"

Ngati ndazindikira kuti ndangokhala ndi vuto locheperako, ndikupitiliza kuyesa mayankho omwe ndingathe kuchita. Njira imodzi yomwe imabwera m'maganizo mwanu ndimangosiya. Pazinthu zonse zomwe munthu angachite poyankha ma microaggressions, izi zikuwoneka ngati zosafunikira kwenikweni chifukwa zonse zomwe zimafunikira ndikungochoka (ngati wina ali ndi kuthekera ndi mphamvu yochoka), anthu ambiri mwina amachita izi nthawi zambiri. Kungochoka kumene kumatha kukhala ndi ntchito yodzitchinjiriza, popeza munthu amatha kuthawa ndipo osagwiritsidwanso ntchito ndi shawa yomwe ikupitilira. Ndipo pochoka, nkuthekanso kuti ena adzadabwa chifukwa chake, kuwakakamiza kulingalira za kuthekera kwakuti mwina achita chinthu china chokhumudwitsa.

Koma kusamvetseka kwa "yankho" ili kumatha kusiya ena osamvetsetsa za kuchoka kwanga, ndipo mafotokozedwe osankhidwa amakhalidwe osokonekerawa amatha kutengeka ndi malingaliro olakwika (mwachitsanzo, "Zinali zopanda ulemu, ulemu wake unali kuti?" kapena "Chifukwa chiyani amakhala okwiya nthawi zonse?" ). Mwanjira ina, sindikufuna kuti ndikwaniritse malingaliro olakwika ndikupatsa ma microaggressors zipolopolo zochulukirapo kuti zigwiritse ntchito motsutsana ndi ine ndi ena onga ine. Komanso, palibe amene amaphunzitsidwa ndikudziwitsidwa mwa kungopulumuka momwemo, ndikusiya zazing'ono zosatsutsidwa, chifukwa chake izi zitha kulimbikitsanso ma microaggressions. Kuphatikiza apo, ma microaggressor ndi omwe tiyenera kuwaphunzitsa, chifukwa chake uwu ndi mwayi osati "kulalikira kwayara".

Chifukwa chake ngakhale palibe yankho lomveka bwino, losavuta la funsoli, ndimangokhala ndikudzikumbutsa kuti ndiyenera kupezeka. Timafunikira mawu ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana patebulopo.

Funso 3: "Kodi ndili ndi udindo wolankhula, kuteteza anthu anga, ndikuphunzitsa?"

Chifukwa chifukwa changa chachikulu chosasiya mvula yaying'ono ndikudzitchinjiriza, kuteteza anthu anga, ndi kuphunzitsa, kufunikira koti ndiyankhule nthawi zonse kumayambika mwa ine. Chifukwa chake, funso lotsatira lomwe ndimadzifunsa ndikuti ngati ndili ndi udindo wolankhula, bwanji?

Monga munthu amene ndimamvetsetsa zazing'onozing'ono komanso ngati munthu amene dera langa lathandiza kwa zaka zambiri kuti aphunzire, adalikidwe, ndikukhala "mtsogoleri wamderalo," yankho langa ku funso ili nthawi zonse "inde!" Ndimadutsamo njira zina zingapo kuti ndizitsimikizire kuti sindiyenera kuyankhula, monga: “Si bwino kugwedeza bwato. Kuphatikiza apo, kungolankhula mwina sikungasinthe chilichonse ” ndipo “Si bwino kumangolemedwa ndi kumafotokozera ena nthawi zonse” ndipo “Izi zimapweteketsa mtima wanga, sizingakhale bwino kuti ndikhale ndi moyo wabwino. Andiyamwa, choncho ndatha kuyankhula. ” Koma ngakhale ndili ndi malingaliro awa, ndimakonda kulankhula nthawi zonse.

MPM a Dr. Sue akuwonetsa kuti ndizofala kuti anthu azimva kuti akukakamizidwa kuyimira gulu lawo ndikukhala otopa, mwinanso opanda chiyembekezo, chifukwa munthu amafunika kuyankhulanso pomwe zikuwoneka kuti ntchito sikusintha chilichonse. Ndikafika pamaganizidwe oterewa, ndimadzikumbutsa kuti zinthu sizingasinthe ngati tonse tisiya. Komanso, sizili ngati kuti mtima wanga umakhala bwino ndikalola mvula yamagetsi kuti idutse osachita chilichonse chokhudza iwo.Komanso, ngakhale kulemera kwaudindo kumasiyanasiyana malinga ndi munthu, ndipo sitiyenera kukakamiza aliyense kuti akhale ndi udindo wolankhula, ndikukhulupirira kuti ife omwe tili ndi mwayi wokhala ndi kuthekera, kulimba mtima, komanso mphamvu yolankhula iyenera kutero. Zowonadi, monga Voltaire-komanso a Peter Parker (Spiderman) Amalume Ben - adati, "Ndi mphamvu zazikulu pamadza udindo waukulu."

Funso 4: "Kodi ndiyenera kukhala 'waulemu' kapena 'waluso' kwambiri ndikamalankhula?"

Zovuta za ma microaggressions sizimatha ndikamalankhula, chomwe ndi umboni wina wazomwe ma microaggressions amatha kukhala (ndikuwononga) malingaliro amunthu, makamaka, mtima wake. Njira yolunjika ya Microaggressions yopita kumtima wanga ndiye chifukwa chomwe ndimakhudzidwira mtima ndikamayankhula zazing'onozing'ono. Ngakhale ndimakhala ndi mwayi wokonza malingaliro anga, ngakhale ndikadzikumbutsa kuti ndikhale chete, ndipo ngakhale ndikayamba kuyankhula modekha, malingaliro anga amangotuluka nthawi ina.

Chifukwa chake ndikayankhula motsutsana ndi ma microaggressions ndikuyesera kuphunzitsa, nthawi zambiri ndimakayikira ngati ndikadakhala kuti ndikanakhala wogwira mtima ndikadakhala "waulemu" kapena "waluso" kuti ndikhoze kukhala "omveka" kwa omvera Ndikuyesera kufikira. Chifukwa chake ngakhale itakhala nthawi yomwe ndiyenera kukhala yopatsa mphamvu kwa ine, ndimamvabe kuti ndikufunika kusamalira opondereza anga, kuwonetsetsa kuti sindikwiyitsa omwe andipondereza, ndikuchita zinthu zomwe otsutsana nane amawona kuti "ndizovomerezeka." Mogwirizana ndi MPM wa Dr. Sue, ndikufunikirabe "kupulumutsa" wolakwayo.

Chifukwa cha ambiri a ife, ngakhale titatha kupeza mphamvu zokwanira zolimbana ndi ma microaggressions, tifunikabe kugwira ntchito. Tiyenera kudzikumbutsa tokha kuti ndibwino kukhala ndi malingaliro, kuyankhula kuchokera pansi pamtima. Izi ndichifukwa choti sikuti tikungonena za zokumana nazo zomwe tidawerenga m'buku kapena nkhani yankhani. Sitikungolankhula zongoyerekeza kapena nkhani yomwe tidawona mufilimu. Tikamayankhula zazing'onozing'ono, tikukamba za zomwe takumana nazo pamoyo wathu. Izi ndi zenizeni kwa ife! Chifukwa chake pali zotengeka-komanso zopweteka zomwe zimakhudza momwe timalankhulira izi! Kulankhula zakukhosi tikamakambirana zazing'onozing'ono sizimatipangitsa kukhala odalirika, komanso sizipangitsa zomwe takumana nazo kukhala zenizeni.

Funso 5: "Kodi ndangolephera anthu anga chifukwa chosalankhula komanso kuphunzitsa?"

Pomaliza, ndakhala ndi zokumana nazo zambiri momwe ndidasankha kuti sindingathe kapena sindinathe kuyankhula, kufotokoza, kuteteza anthu anga, ndi kuphunzitsa; Zachisoni, izi zikuphatikiza zomwe ndakumana nazo posachedwa pokhudzana ndi kukhumudwa. Malinga ndi a Dr. Sue, osachita chilichonse - osasiya (Funso 2) - ndiye njira yofala kwambiri pakuchepera. Mwa zina, timasankha kuti tisachite chilichonse chifukwa sitingathe kudziwa ngati takumanapo ndi vuto laling'ono (Funso 1), tidadzikhulupirira (kapena kudzipusitsa) kuti zomwe zidachitikazi sizinali zazing'ono, timakhala opanda chiyembekezo, kapena timaopa Zotsatira zakulankhula.

Nthawi izi "kutsatira mokakamizidwa," ndimakonda kudzifunsa kuti: "Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti ndalephera mdera lathu?" “Kodi ndalephera?” “Kodi ndine wamantha?”“Kodi ndine wogulitsa?” Malinga ndi momwe a Sue amafotokozera a MPM, zovuta zamkatizi ndizofala ndipo zitha kusokoneza thanzi la munthu. Kulephera kuyankhula motsutsana ndi ma microaggressions, makamaka ngati munthu akufunadi kutero, kumatha kudzichotsera ulemu, kudziona ngati wabodza kapena kugulitsidwa, kusakhulupirika, kumverera kuti wina wagwetsa gulu la anthu, kudzipsa mtima, ndi kudziimba mlandu.

Pazovuta izi, nthawi zambiri ndimayenera kugwira ntchito molimbika kuti ndikumbukire kuti zili bwino kupuma. Chifukwa chake kwa ife omwe tamva kusowa thandizo ( Sindingathe kuyankhapo. ” ) ndikutsatira kudzimva wopanda pake (mwachitsanzo, "Ndalephera chabe gulu langa." ), chonde kumbukirani kuti sindinu munthu woyipa-kapena membala woyipa pagulu lanu-chifukwa choti mudasankha kumenya nkhondo zanu, kutopa, kapena kutenga tchuthi. Ndipo kwa ife omwe tili ogwirizana, omwe atha kukhala tonsefe, mwina titha kumamatira ku mabanja athu ndi abwenzi nthawi ndi nthawi ndikumakhala ndi vuto lolankhula motsutsana ndi ma microaggressions, ngakhale omwe mwina sangakhale ife.

Kulimbikira Kupitilira

Zikuwonekeratu kuti ma microaggressions amasokoneza kwambiri zomwe akufuna. Ma Microaggressions amawononga mphamvu zathupi, zamaganizidwe, zam'malingaliro, komanso zauzimu, koma nthawi zambiri zimamupangitsa kuti asakhale ndi malingaliro omveka komanso ochiritsa. Choyipa chachikulu ndi chakuti, ma microaggressions amatha kupangitsa kuti anthu adziimbe mlandu, kudzikwiyira, kapena kupondereza anzawo. Ndipo ngakhale kufufuza kwina kuyenera kuchitidwa kuti timvetsetse zazing'onozing'ono, pali zinthu zingapo zomwe zikuwonekera bwino kwambiri: (1) ma microaggressions ndiofala, (2) ma microaggressions amapweteka, ndipo (3) ma microaggressions ali ndi zoyipa zoyipa pachitsime cha anthu -kukhala ndi thanzi lam'mutu.

Chifukwa chake tiyeni tikhale okumbukira, omvera, komanso osamala momwe timacheza ndi anzathu. Ndipo tikalakwitsa-tikamachita zazing'ono-tikhala omasuka kuyankha mayankho amomwe tingathetsere zizolowezi zopweteka ndikupanga kuvomereza, kuthandizira, kutsimikizira, ndi kuthandiza.

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