Kukhazikika ndi Chikondi mu Psychotherapy

Uwu unali "umodzi mwamilungu ija." Pafupifupi makasitomala anga onse anali ndi nthawi yovuta ndipo wina anakumana ndi zochitika ndi mabanja ndi omwe amandisamalira zomwe zimatha miyezi ingapo, mwina zaka.

Mu sabata ili, ndili ndi ntchito zambiri zanga zoti ndichite. Zina mwazomwe ndimadzichitira ndekha. Munthawi yovuta kwambiri ndidakumana ndi Kuzindikiritsidwa Kwambiri, njira yodzitchinjiriza yomwe imadziwika kuti imagwira ntchito yothandizirana. Wogula kasitomala mosazindikira amapanga zinthu zosadwalika kwa wodwalayo, ndipo wothandizirayo amadzipangira izi. Zotsatira zake ndikuti wothandizirayo amamva mkati mwake momwe akumverera / kutengeka / kukhudzidwa kwa kasitomala, ngati kuti ndi ake.

Sabata ino ndimakhala pafoni, ndikukambirana motalika ndi kasitomala ndi omwe akuwasamalira, osowa chochita kuti zinthu zikuyendere momwe ayenera. Kwa maola ambiri pambuyo pake, ndinamva chisoni kwambiri.

Ndili ndi gawo langa lakumva zowawa, koma izi zinali zosiyana. Ndinadziwa kuti ndi ya kasitomala wanga. Zinkawoneka ngati cholemetsa chosazolowereka chomwe chinandikoka. Zinanditengera maola ochepa kuti ndizindikire kuti izi zinali zodziwika, kenako ndidaganiza zochitapo kanthu.

Monga psychotherapist wofotokozera, ndikudziwa kupindulitsa pakuyankha mwaluso pochiza kasitomala wanga. M'masiku a ophunzira, imodzi mwanjira zambiri zomwe ndidaphunzitsidwa kuti ndizigwiritsa ntchito, kutsatira gawo limodzi ndi kasitomala, kuti timvetsetse bwino njira yothandizirana ndi kasitomala. Ndaphunzira machitidwe kuti ndiziike ndekha m'malingaliro anga ngati kasitomala kenako ndikupanga yankho lazazomwe zimachitika ndi kasitomala. Zitha kukhala zosema thupi, kujambula, kuyenda, kulemba ndakatulo, kuyimba, ndi zina zambiri.

Chifukwa chake sabata ino ndimamvetsera nyimbo ndikuyesera kulola thupi langa kuyenda m'njira yomwe ingawonetsere kupweteka komwe ndimamva pokhudzana ndi zomwe kasitomala uyu adakumana nazo. Zinkawoneka ngati kuya kwa Hade. Potsirizira pake, mndandandawo unabweretsa nyimbo yodziwika bwino, ndipo pamene ndimamvetsera pang'onopang'ono zomwe zimadutsa mwa ine zomwe zimawoneka ngati zikuphatikiza mawuwo.

Ndimamva ngati ndikutambasulidwa, pafupifupi kuthekera kwanga, kugona ngati mlatho pamadzi ovuta kwa kasitomala uyu. Ndinazindikira kuti kutambasula kunali mayendedwe omwe ndimayenera kupanga kuti ndisinthe momwe ndimamvera panthawiyi. M'malo mokhala cholemera, ndinakhala mlatho wautali pamadzi ovuta.

Timakhala mlatho ngati othandizira pobweretsa kupezeka ngati wosamalira "wokwanira", wokhoza kusunga zinthu zomwe zimawoneka zosavomerezeka kwa makasitomala athu ndi kuwatseka. Otsatsa nthawi zina amamva kuzunguliridwa ndi ululu kulikonse komwe angapite; kupweteka kumakhala kwakukulu kwambiri kotero kuti amamva kuti sangathe kudziphatika pamodzi ndikugwira ntchito. Monga othandizira, timatsagana ndi makasitomala athu pokumana ndi zowawa zazikuluzi, ndipo sitimatha tikamatero. Mwanjira imeneyi, timakhala chizindikiro cha chiyembekezo pakuphatikizika.

Koma kuti izi zigwire ntchito, kasitomala wathu azimva kuti tikumvadi ululu womwe akumva komanso kuti ndife owona nawo. Izi zimachitika pokhapokha ngati tiika kasitomala wathu patsogolo. Mobwerezabwereza timapereka mauthenga achikondi, nthawi zina ndi mawu, koma nthawi zonse ndi maso, mawonekedwe amthupi, ndi kamvekedwe ka mawu: Ndikukuwonani, ndikumvani, ndikusamala, ndili nanu pano, tikuchita izi limodzi.

Kukulitsa chikondi ndi kulumikizana ngati zomangira
Tikamapereka mauthengawa, timapereka chithandizo chofunikira kwambiri kwa omwe apulumuka pamavuto. Timapereka chidziwitso, njira yopanda tanthauzo yakukhalira ndi munthu wina m'njira yopezeka kwathunthu komanso moyenera kwa munthuyo. Kuphatikizika kumalumikizana ndipo kumathandizidwa ndikulumikizana ndi diso, kutulutsa mawu, malankhulidwe, ndi thupi.

Kulumikizana ndiye galimoto yoyamba yomwe makolo amalumikizirana chikondi ndi chitetezo kwa ana aang'ono. Maso achikondi ndi mawu okoma a makolo mobwerezabwereza amatsimikizira mwana kuti: mumawonedwa ndikuwonedwa; timakukondani ndipo tidzakutetezani; mutha kuwunika ndikuchita nawo zovuta kapena zachilendo chifukwa tili pano chifukwa cha inu. Timafutukula ngati anthu pamaso pa chisamaliro choyambirira, ndipo timafutukula ngati tili ndi mwayi wolandila izi m'maubwenzi amtsogolo.

Wothandizira, wachikondi, wodziwikiratu, wokhudzidwa, kupezeka kwa wothandizira wodwalayo ndiye chimangidwe chakumva kukhala otetezeka padziko lapansi, kuchita nawo maubale, ndikudzinenera malo athu pagulu.

Komabe, mwanjira yathu, tonse tidakumana ndi zolakwika m'miyoyo yathu. Tonsefe timafunikira wina nthawi zina kuti atipangire mlatho pamadzi ovuta. Kwa ena, izi zimaperekedwa ndi wokondedwa wapamtima, kapena wowongolera wokhoza kutengapo gawo. Kwa ena, mlathowu ndiwothandizira.

Mwanjira iliyonse, sitingathe kuchita patokha. Iyi ndi njira yomwe imafunika kubwezerana. Wina ayenera kukhala ndi mlatho wa wina mpaka wina wosakhazikika atadalira mawonekedwe ake ndikutambasula ndikukula malowa, kenako kukhala okhazikika mokwanira kuphatikizira pawokha.

Chisamaliro chenicheni ndi kusangalatsa kwa wothandizira kwa kasitomala ndizopangitsa kapena kuwononga mphamvu pochiritsira makamaka mankhwala opweteka.

Zaka zaposachedwa zabweretsa chidwi chochuluka kuzisoni, komanso zoopsa zachitukuko komanso gawo lake pakuchiritsa kwamunthu komanso pagulu. Ili ndi gawo lodalitsika m'njira yoyenera. Koma, chinthu chosathandiza pakudziwitsa kwatsopano kumeneku ndikuyang'ana kupsinjika zizindikiro kuchepetsa m'malo mwa Kuphatikizidwa kwa zoopsa komanso njira yathanzi . Mankhwala ambiri ndi othandizira amalimbikitsa njira zomwe cholinga chake ndi kuthana ndi zovuta komanso momwe zimakhudzira makasitomala. Othandizira amangoyang'ana kwambiri njira zogwiritsira ntchito nthawi ndikuwongolera zovuta m'malo mokhala munthawi yamavuto ndi zowawa ngati gawo limodzi lothandizira.

Pali nthawi yomwe chithandizo chimayang'ana pakuthana ndi zipsinjo. (Werengani zambiri apa.) Koma ndikofunikira ngati othandizira kuzindikira kuti kuthana ndi zovuta ndikupanga; sindiwo mathero mwa iwo wokha.

Pogwira ntchito ndi opulumuka pamavuto timafunikira mandala ochulukirapo, omwe amayang'ana mbali zonse zaumoyo. Kukhala bwino ndi wopulumukayo kuyenera kukhala pakati panu nthawi yocheza, ndipo nthawi zambiri kunja kwa nthawi yanu limodzi. (Werengani zambiri apa.)

Timagwira ntchito ngati mlatho mpaka zinthu zitasintha ndipo kasitomala amatha kulumikiza magawo awo pawokha. Izi zimachitika koyamba ngati gawo la chithandizo, koma pamapeto pake, zimapitilira ali okha. Ndi mtima wathu wonse, timagwira ntchito nthawi imeneyo pomwe kasitomala amatha kupitiliza ndikukonzekera kupitiliza opanda ife.

Makasitomala athu amafunika kudziwa kuyambira tsiku loyamba kuti timawasamalira, kuti timawakonda, kuti popita nthawi timawakonda m'njira yomwe imawateteza ndikusunga malire. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono amayamba kutikhulupirira ngati mlatho pakati pa zokumana nazo zopweteka. Izi zikakwaniritsidwa, timatha kuwathandiza kupanga ndi kulumikiza kuzinthu zawo monga zomangira mlatho wawo pamadzi ovuta.