Kuimba Mlandu, Manyazi, ndi Kudziimba Mlandu: Kusankha Ziweto Zathu

Kugawana miyoyo yathu ndi ziweto zathu ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zosangalatsa kwambiri m'moyo zomwe okonda nyama ambiri amalandila. Ambiri amadziona ngati makolo onyadira a anzawo amiyendo inayi. Monga momwe zimakhalira ndi mnzake, kunena kuti tiwonana ndizopweteka kwambiri. Zitha kupweteketsa mtima kwambiri ndi nthano zomwe zimakhudzana ndi kutayika kwa ziweto, komanso manyazi achikhalidwe omwe amakumana nawo akamva chisoni ndi chiweto.

Eni ziweto ambiri amathanso kunena kuti kulakwa kopanga chisankho m'malo mwa chiweto chawo ndi chovuta kwambiri. Mutha kudziweruza nokha posankha chisankho chodwala kapena kuganiza kuti mwina mankhwala omwe mwasankha anali oyenera. Muthanso kudziimba mlandu pazomwe zidachitika zikanakhala kuti chiweto chomwe chidathawa, kapena chomwe sichimawonetsa zizindikilo zilizonse za matenda mpaka atachedwa chithandizo. Mwinanso mumakhala wokwiya, mumadziimba mlandu chifukwa chosowa ndalama zochitira maopareshoni okwera mtengo omwe mwina atalikitsa moyo wa mnzanu.

Chifukwa Chomwe Timaimba Mlandu Mwathunthu

Tikakhala achisoni, psyche yathu imayesa kumvetsetsa mtundu wa zomwe zikuchitika pakadali pano. Ambiri a ife timayesa kufufuza zifukwa za chilichonse chomwe chikuchitika, kapena mwanjira ina, kuyesa kumvetsetsa. Potero, tikhoza kudziwonetsa tokha mkwiyo kapena kudziimba tokha, ndi ena, panthawi yonse yachisoni.

Tikakumana ndi zisankho zovuta, monga chithandizo chamankhwala, timaganizira zomwe tingasankhe ndi chidziwitso chomwe timalandira kuchokera kwa Veterinarian, ndi zomwe timadziwa za chiweto chathu. Tiyeneranso kuchita chimodzimodzi zikafika pakupanga chisankho cha euthanasia ndikudziwa nthawi yoyenera chiweto chathu.

Ngakhale titha kuzindikira kuti chisankho chomwe tikupanga ndiye njira yabwino kwambiri, kapena njira yokhayo yomwe ilipo, timadziponyera tokha mpaka tizingomva ngati kuti sitingapirire ndi zovuta.

Kodi Kudziimba Mlandu Ndi Chiyani?

Psychology Today ili ndi gawo lonse lodzipereka kulakwa, ndipo pazifukwa zomveka. Amati, "kudziimba mlandu komanso wantchito wake, manyazi, atilemetsa ife - kapena kutipangitsa ife kuchitapo kanthu. Kudziimba mlandu koyenera kumatha kugwira ntchito ngati cholumikizira, kuchititsa munthu kuti abweze zolakwa zake. kukwiya komanso kukhumudwa. "

Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti monga momwe nkhawa ilili ndimaganizo omwe angakhudzidwe, kuwongoleredwa, ndikusinthidwa (ndikuchita), momwemonso kulakwa. Tsoka ilo, mosiyana ndi nkhawa yathanzi yomwe ingalimbikitse kuchitapo kanthu, kudziimba mlandu kumalimbikitsa kulimbikitsa ulesi, kukhumudwa, ndipo kumatha kukhala kwamphamvu kwambiri kwakuti sitikudziwa choti tichite. Amati kwa ife mukulakwitsa ndipo muyenera kuti mwachita zambiri kapena bwanji sunasamale kwambiri kapena ungathe bwanji? Zitha kumveka ngati ubale wankhanza womwe umakhala mkati mwa mitu yathu.

Nkhani yothandiza ya mutu wakuti Upangiri Wotsimikizika Wodzilakwira , Wolemba Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., akuwunikira kwambiri kudzimva ngati wolakwa ndipo amagawa zochitika zosiyanasiyana zomwe zimakhudzana nawo.

Kunamizira Zonse Tokha

Timadziuza tokha zinthu monga Bwanji sindinagwire izi msanga? kapena Kodi uko kunali kulondola chisankho? ngakhale iye kapena ayenera kundida chifukwa cha zomwe ndachita, ndi imodzi mwazikulu kwambiri, Ndangowapha .

Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti kupanga zisankho m'malo mwa ziweto zathu ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zachikondi komanso zokoma zomwe titha kuchita, makamaka zikafika pazakusankha zamankhwala ndikumapeto kwa moyo. Tili ndi udindo wazaka zachikondi zomwe tidagawana pakati pathu kuti tisalole chiweto chathu kuvutika munthawi yamatenda kapena munthawi yawo yomaliza.

Ngakhale zitha kukhala zovuta, zisankho ziyenera kukhazikitsidwa pazomwe zili zabwino kwa chiweto chathu, osati tokha. Ambiri omwe ali ndi ziweto amakhala ndi liwongo lalikulu ngati akumva kuti akumva kuwawa kapena kuvutika kuti akhale ndi nthawi yambiri ndi chiweto chawo. Ziweto zathu sizikhala motalika kokwanira, ndipo ndizofunitsitsa kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza nazo. Chofunikira kukumbukira ndikuti si kutalika kwa nthawi yomwe timagwiritsa ntchito limodzi, koma mtundu wa nthawi yomwe mudagawana, ngakhale itakhala yayitali kapena yayifupi bwanji.

Kudutsa ndikuzindikira kuti tili ndi mlandu

Ndikofunika kupitiriza kudzithandiza tokha pamene tikugwiritsa ntchito malingaliro athu okhudzana ndi liwongo. Zingakhale zophweka kufuna "kudzilanga" tokha, ngakhale tikutero mosazindikira. Ena atha kunena kuti sayenera kumva bwino, ndipo malingaliro awo amawabwereranso kwa iwo.

Poyambirira, zimakhala zachilendo kutaya njala, kusiya kucheza, ndikupeza chisangalalo chocheperako pazinthu zomwe zimalimbikitsa malingaliro abwino. Ngati mukuganiza malingaliro monga "Sindiyenera kukhala wokondwa" kapena "ndingaganize bwanji izi pakadali pano," ndizotheka kuti ndikumva kuti ndinu wolakwa.

Ndikofunika kuyesa kuzindikira malingaliro athu olakwa, komanso momwe tingadziikire tokha nkhawa, kupsinjika, ndi kupweteka. Kodi tikudzimenya tokha mwamalingaliro chifukwa tikudziyikira tokha mlandu wakufa kwawo? Kodi tikudzimenya tokha chifukwa cha zisankho zomwe tidapanga panthawi yonse yamatenda, ndikudziuza tokha kuti tikadayenera kukhala, tikadakhala kuti tidachita zambiri?

Osachirikiza Kudziimba Mlandu Kwanu

Tikagwirizana ndi ziganizo pamwambapa, kuti sitiyenera kuchiritsidwa chifukwa chakulakwa kwathu, manyazi, ndi kudzidzudzula tokha, timapangitsa njira yachisoni ndi machiritso kukhala yovuta kwambiri kwa ife eni. Itha kusintha mpaka kulimbana ndi thanzi lawo ndipo imatha kukhumudwitsa ngakhale kudzipha. Chonde dziwani kuti nthawi zonse pamakhala thandizo komanso anthu omwe amasamalira National Suicide Hotline ku 1-800-273-8255.

Ngakhale ndizovuta, ndikofunikira kuzindikira pomwe tikudzilakwira tokha ndikupitiliza njira zodzisamalirira nthawi yonseyi. Zingakhale zothandiza kukumbukira kuti ziweto zathu sizidziwa kuimba mlandu. Kukhala ndi ziweto zathu kumatiphunzitsa kuti tsiku lililonse ndilopadera. Ziweto zimatiwonetsa kuti ndife okoma mtima, okhululuka komanso okondana kwambiri.

Itha kukhala nthawi yoti tizichita izi tokha.

Adam Clark, LSW, AASW ndi wolemba, mphunzitsi, komanso pulofesa wothandizira ku University of Denver's Graduate School of Social Work. Adam amayang'ana kwambiri ntchito yake pama psychology kumbuyo kwa ubale wamunthu ndi nyama, makamaka pamapeto ndi kusintha. Amakondanso kuchepetsa manyazi achikhalidwe omwe amabwera chifukwa cha kutayika kwa ziweto, kuthandiza oweta ziweto, komanso kuphunzitsa akatswiri azaumoyo. Zowonjezera za Adam ndi ntchito zake zaposachedwa zitha kupezeka pa www.lovelosstransition.com, kapena atha kumufikira [email protected].