Kunyumba Kwa Maholide?

Ndimakumbukira kuyambira ndili mwana ndikumva langizo lopewa zokambirana zachipembedzo komanso ndale patebulo. Poyamba sindinamvetsetse chifukwa chake. Pambuyo pake ndinazindikira kuti mitu iyi imatha kubweretsa zopweteketsa mtima, kukweza mawu, komanso kunena zowona, kudzimbidwa.Kutenga anali kuchita zomwe mungathe kuti mupewe mikangano pamadyerero a Lamlungu komanso maphwando atchuthi. Pewani zomwe sizili bwino. Sungani bata popewa kukambirana nawo nkhani zomwe zingayambitse kusamvana.

Pomwe palibe aliyense wa ife amene amafuna sewero nthawi yakudya, timataya kena kake popewa mitu yofunika. Mwa kusunga zokambirana mwapamwamba ndi iwo omwe timadya nawo komanso omwe timakonda, timaphonya mwayi wodziwana bwino ndikuphunzira kuchokera kwa iwo omwe tili ndi malingaliro osiyana.

Ndi tchuthi pano, ambiri aife tidzalumikizananso ndi abale athu omwe sitingawone kapena kukhala nawo nthawi yayitali. Mutha kusankha kuti musamangokhalira kukambirana nkhani zabwino: kugula, ziwonetsero zomwe mumakonda pa Netflix, kapena ngakhale ntchito yanu, pamlingo wokha, kumene.

Komabe, ngati mukukumana ndi zovuta zina, nyengo yatchuthi ndikufuna ndikutsutseni kuti mufufuze mwakuya. Tili pakati pa milandu, ndipo mwina mungakhale ndi malingaliro pankhaniyi. Mwina muli ndi malingaliro okhudza zigamulo zaposachedwa ku Khothi Lalikulu ku U.S. Ngati imodzi mwa mitu iyi ibwera pamsonkhano wanu wabanja, ndikufuna kuti mukhale okonzeka. M'malo moyang'ana mbali ina kapena kunamizira kuti simunamve zomwe zinachitika, ndikukupemphani kuti muchitepo kanthu. Ndikufuna kukupatsani zida zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuyankhula komanso kumvetsera. Sindikulimbikitsa kutsutsana kwamalingaliro, koma ndikhulupilira kuti mudzalimbika mtima, kutsimikizika, komanso kudzichepetsa.

Koma, mungafunse. Wouziridwa ndi buku lomwe ndidalemba nawo, Yakwana Nthawi Yokambirana (Ndipo Mverani): Momwe Mungapangire Zokambirana Zachikhalidwe Zokhudza Mpikisano, Gulu, Kugonana, Kuthekera, ndi Gender M'dziko Lopanikizika , nazi maupangiri okuthandizani kukhala okonzeka kuyambitsa ndi kulandira zokambirana zovuta patebulo.

• Dziwani cholinga chanu. Kodi mukufuna kuti zichitike chiyani mukamacheza? Zitsanzo za zolinga ndi izi: "Ndikufuna kuyimirira ndekha"; "Ndikufuna kuyimilira gulu lomwe lidalekanitsidwa"; "Ndikufuna kugawana malingaliro ena, kuti ndithandizire kukambirana". Pewani zolinga zomwe zikusintha malingaliro a anthu kapena kutontholetsa ena. Imeneyo siyokambirana, nthawi zambiri imakhala nkhani yopita mbali imodzi.
• Konzekerani zopinga zomwe zingakulepheretseni. Nchiyani chingasokoneze kukwaniritsa cholinga ichi? Pezani mndandanda wa zotchinga zamkati. Mukuopa kukhumudwitsa agogo anu? Kodi mukuda nkhawa kuti mwina ana omwe ali patebulopo akhoza kumamvera ndikusokonezedwa ndi kusinthaku? Kodi mukuda nkhawa kuti mkwiyo wanu ungakulamulireni ndikulanda? Dziwani zopinga zakunja zomwe zingayambitsenso. Osakwanira nthawi? Mbiri ya magazi oyipa ndi wachibale ameneyu? Podziwa kuti ndi zotani zomwe zingalepheretse kukambirana kowona, mumakulitsa mwayi wogwira ntchito mwa iwo kapena kukonzekera mozungulira iwo.

• Dzichepetseni pansi musanakhale pansi ndikulankhula ndi ena. Pumirani kwambiri. Yambirani pamalo amtendere ndi omveka musanakambirane mawu. Dzilimbitseni pamalo abata podziyerekeza kuti mukudutsamo mtengo wanu. Kodi mtengo wamtengo wapatali ndi uti, mukufunsa. Makhalidwe abwino amakukhazikitsani ndipo ndi kampasi yanu yabwino popanga zisankho m'moyo wanu. Zitsanzo zamakhalidwe abwino ndi kuwona mtima, kulimba mtima, chikhulupiriro, chiyembekezo, chipiriro, mphamvu, kutsimikizika, ndi chikondi. Ine ndikhoza kupitirira, koma inu mumapeza lingaliro. Mutha kudzikhazikika mukukonda banja lanu; mumawakonda ndipo chifukwa chake muyenera kuyika pachiwopsezo zokambirana izi. Mutha kudalira chikhulupiriro kuti chitsogoze zokambirana zanu; simukudziwa kwenikweni zomwe zichitike, koma muli ndi chikhulupiriro kuti zichitika. Chinthu china chomwe timakonda kwambiri ndi kulimba mtima. Dalirani kulimba mtima kuti mudzakambirane zovuta izi. Kupatula apo, pakhoza kukhala mchere wambiri womwe ukuyembekezera mukamaliza nkhaniyo ndi chakudya!
• Konzani bwaloli ndi kutsegula. Lolani womverayo adziwe kuti "mubwere mumtendere." Zitsanzo za omwe atsegule ndi awa, "Ndimakukondani kwambiri, chifukwa chake ndikufuna kulankhula nanu za chinthu chomwe chimatanthauza zambiri kwa ine," kapena "Ndikukayikira kuti ndinene izi, koma ndikuganiza kuti ndizofunikira, ndipo kotero ndiyesa, ”kapena" Ndikufuna ndiyankhuleko pamutu womwe ungakhale wovuta kwambiri. Ndikukhulupirira kuti titha kukambirana limodzi. ”
• Kumbukirani kumvetsera. Mukapereka uthenga wanu ndikugawana malingaliro anu, tsopano ndi nthawi yanu kuti mukhale makutu onse. Monga adanenera Dr. Miguel Gallardo poyankhulana kwaposachedwa ndi Cultural Humility podcast, "Tidapatsidwa makutu awiri ndi mkamwa umodzi pazifukwa." Osateteza. Osatseka. Osangoganizira zokonzekera zomwe mudzanene mtsogolo. Mvetserani. Tsegulani mtima wanu ku malingaliro a mnzanu, ngakhale simukugwirizana.
• Thokozani munthuyo moona mtima chifukwa chokumverani, kucheza nanu, kapena kuvomereza kuti simukugwirizana nazo. Simuyenera kukonda zomwe wina wanena, komabe mutha kuyamika chifukwa chakupezeka kwawo komanso kufunitsitsa kukumana nanu pokambirana.

Ndili ndi malangizo awa m'manja, ndikukhumba inu tchuthi chodzaza ndi zokambirana zakukhosi.