Ozunzidwa ndi Msika Wokwatirana

Ili lakhala sabata la mafunso okhudza kugwiriridwa. Dr. Phil adayamba izi pofunsa otsatira ake malingaliro awo pakugonana ndi atsikana oledzera. Izi zidalimbikitsa ambiri kukayikira zomwe (kapena, ngati) akadatha kuganiza pomwe adanenetsa kuti kuvomerezeka kogonana ndi azimayi achichepere oledzera kumakangana. Kuyankha kumeneko kunapangitsa Tracy Clark-Flory ku Salon kufunsa mafunso angapo; mafunso ofunikira momwe timaganizira za kugwiriridwa, ambiri mwa iwo alibe mayankho omveka.

Ndili ndi funso lokhudza kugwiriridwa. Langa ndi funso lomwe, ndikhulupirira, lingayankhidwe ndi wofufuza wodabwitsa yemwe anali wofunitsitsa kutenga nthawi kuti ayang'ane ndikuganizira zaumboni. Pakadali pano, ndi funso chabe lopanda yankho lomveka. Koma ndiyomwe ndiyenera kufunsa.

Nayi funso: Kodi kuwunika kwakupwetekedwa kwa wogwiriridwayo ndichinthu chomwe amachiona pamsika wabanja (mwachitsanzo, kufunika kwake kwa amuna) panthawi yogwiriridwa?

Kapena, lingaliro lenileni, loyesedwa mwamphamvu, Kodi oweruza amaweruza mwankhanza pamene wogwiriridwayo ndi mayi yemwe amakhulupirira kuti anali ndi chiyembekezo chokwatirana pa nthawi ya kugwiriridwa wachibale yemwe akukhulupirira kuti anali ndi banja losavomerezeka ziyembekezo pamsika panthawi yogwiriridwa.

Ndipo, ndi funso lofunika popeza ngati kuwunika kumayesedwa motere, zikusonyeza chikhulupiriro chakuti amayi omwe agwiriridwa ndi "katundu wowonongeka" - kuti amuna adzawawona ngati otsika mtengo pamsika wokwatira.

Nazi zitsanzo zinayi zakomwe ndikuwona kuthekera kwa udindo wamayi pamsika waukwati panthawi yomugwirira akuganizira mozama za mavuto omwe wapirira

Kawirikawiri amakhulupirira kuti amayi omwe amadzisunga ndi ofunika kwambiri pamsika wamaukwati kuposa akazi omwe satero; Anamwali amafunidwa kwambiri, motero, amakhala ndi mwayi wokwatiwa moyenerera kuposa akazi omwe sali anamwali.

Kodi kufunika kwa kudzisunga pamsika wamaukwati kumabweretsa lingaliro loti ogwiriridwa omwe ndi oyera adachitidwa zoyipa zambiri kuposa azimayi omwe adagonana nawo kale? Kapena, mwazinthu zambiri, kodi azimayi omwe sanagonepo ndi amuna ochepa adachitidwa zoyipa zambiri kuposa azimayi omwe adakhalapo ambiri?

Ogonana amaonedwa kuti alibe phindu m'misika yamabanja ambiri; ndi osowa kwambiri ndipo akakwatirana amakwatirana mosavomerezeka kuposa akazi omwe amachita ntchito zina. Pakuwunika mavuto obwera chifukwa chogwiriridwa, kodi zikuwoneka kuti ochita zachiwerewere sanachitiridwe zovulaza poyerekeza ndi azimayi ena omwe mwina akanachita bwino pamsika wamaukwati?

Malingaliro amsika wamaukwatiwa atha kufotokoza chifukwa chomwe anthu amakhulupirira kuti kugwiriridwa ndi okwatirana sikowononga kwenikweni kuposa kugwiriridwa ndi mwamuna wina ngati tikhulupirira kuti mkazi amene wagwiriridwa ndi mwamuna wake sadzasinthiranso mwamunayo komanso kuti mkazi wokwatiwa yemwe wagwiriridwa ndi mwamuna wina zikhala zotsika mtengo kwa mwamuna wake.

Amayi aku Africa aku America amasaka misika yolimba kwambiri kuposa akazi amtundu wina uliwonse; sangakhale okwatirana nthawi iliyonse m'miyoyo yawo. Kodi chikhulupiliro chakuti wogwiriridwa wakuda anali ndi chiyembekezo chokwatirana chamsika pa nthawi yogwiriridwa, chimatanthauzira kuti sanakumanepo ndi mavuto ambiri kuposa mzungu yemwe anali wokwanira kukwatiwa?

Ndikukhulupirira ndichidziwikire kuti ndikamafunsa mafunso amenewa sindikutanthauza kuti ndi momwe ife timafunira ayenera Ganizirani za mavuto omwe amabwera chifukwa chogwiriridwa. Ndikufunsa ngati ndi momwe timapangira kapena ayi chitani Ganizirani za zoipa. Chifukwa ngati titero - ngati tilingalira za mkazi pamsika wapaukwati panthawi yomwe wagwiriridwa - ndikuganiza kuti izi zikuyenera kukambirana mozama pamalingaliro azikhalidwe za kufunikira kwa wogwiriridwa pamsika waukwati.