Nkhani Yotengera Kulera Ndi Kusintha Kwa Zowonjezera Zowonjezera

Dr. T sakanakhala wokondwa kwambiri ndi kupita patsogolo kwa Julia. Pa miyezi 18, mwana wanga anali wazaka 95 ^th percentile kulemera kwake. Amalankhula, akuyenda, kamvekedwe kake ka minyewa kanali kabwino. Zizindikiro zonse zabwino za mwana wotengedwa miyezi ingapo 14 m'mbuyomo kuchokera kusukulu yamasiye ya ku Siberia.

Dr. T amagwira ntchito zothandiza ana omwe ali ndi ana ochokera kumayiko ena. Paulendo wachitatu wa mwana wanga wamkazi, adalimbikitsa katemera wachiwiri chifukwa sanakhulupirire omwe adalandira ku Russia. Adandifunsa momwe Julia amadyera, akuyang'ana m'mabuku ake kuti awerenge tchati chake. Ndidamuuza kuti ali pachakudya chopatsa thanzi, chopatsa thanzi, chosadya nyama. Iye anati, "wabwino," ndipo ndi kunyezimira kwa diso lake, anawonjezera, "Iye akuwoneka bwino. Mukugwira ntchito yayikulu. Mukabwerenso pakatha miyezi 6. ”

Atayamba kuterera kuchokera mchipinda chofufuzira ndinadodoma, "Dikirani, ndili ndi funso."

Anandiyang'ana moleza mtima.

"Ndingadziwe bwanji ngati Julia ali bwino, ukudziwa, mwamalingaliro?"

Anapumira.

Ndinamufotokozera kuti mwana wanga wamkazi wamtengo wapatali wamdima, wamwamuna wowala kwambiri, samandigwiritsitsa kapena kundiyang'ana m'maso kapena kulekerera kuti andigwira. Samandigwira dzanja kapena kundilola kuti ndimuwerengere kapena kusewera naye. Ndiwachikulire, ndinatero, ndikudabwa ngati ilo linali liwu labwino kugwiritsa ntchito. Amakhala wosakhazikika akaletsedwa pogona kapena poyenda. Samapumuliranso pomukumbatira mwachikondi. Iye akulamulira ndi wovuta. Osati nthawi zina. Nthawi zonse.

Popanda kuphonya adati, "Mutha kukhala mukufotokozera china chake chotchedwa Reactive Attachment Disorder." RAD, monga momwe ndinadziwira pambuyo pake, ndi matenda omwe amapezeka mwa ana ambiri obadwira, makamaka ochokera ku Russia ndi Eastern Europe. Ana amavutika kulumikizana ndi makolo awo owalera chifukwa awapweteketsa mtima kapena kuwanyalanyaza, ndipo amawona kholo lolera ngati munthu wina wowasamalira amene angawasiye kapena sangawasiye. Ngakhale ali achichepere, pansi pamtima amakhulupirira kuti okhawo omwe angawadalire ndi iwo eni. Ndi chikhalidwe chovuta, chosamvetsetseka bwino ndi madokotala ambiri a ana.

Dr. T adati mwina ndi molawirira kwambiri kuti apeze. Julia ndi wamng'ono kwambiri. Kenako anandiyang'ana, ndipo ndinachita mantha kwambiri ndipo anati, “Osadandaula. Uli ndi nthawi. ”

Pofuna kuthana ndi mantha owopsa, ndimangodziuza ndekha "Tili ndi nthawi, Tili ndi nthawi. Julia adzagwirizana. ”

Ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinali ndi zaka 40 pamene tidatenga Julia. Ndine mtolankhani. Ndi loya wopuma pantchito. Palibe mu nthawi yovomereza mu 2003 pomwe padatchulidwapo aliyense za Reactive Attachment Disorder. Ndinayamba kumva kuti akutchulidwa tili ku Siberia. Banja lina lomwe lidatenga mwana wawo wachiwiri waku Russia nthawi yomweyo pomwe timatengera Julia adada nkhawa atakumana ndi mwana wawo wamwamuna wakhanda chifukwa mwanayo sanayang'ane m'maso ndipo sanayankhe. Sindinadziwe zokwanira kusamalira mayankho awo. Ndinamvanso mawuwa polankhula ndi mnzanga wapabanja, wodwala matenda amisala, koma amalankhula mokwapula, ndikuyang'anitsitsa kamwana kanga kokongola, nati, "Osadandaula. Akuwoneka kuti ali bwino. ”

Ngakhale Dr. T atatchula za matendawa, sindinali wokonzeka kuvomereza malongosoledwewa, ngakhale akadatha kufotokoza chifukwa chomwe ndimadzimva kukhala wopanda ntchito ngati mayi. Zingatenge zaka zina ziwiri, pomwe Julia anali ndi zaka zinayi ndikuphunzira chilankhulo, kuti ine ndi amuna anga Ricky tichite ntchito yathu pamoyo wathu kumvetsetsa Reactive Attachment Disorder, ndikupanga zomwe tikufunika kuchita kupulumutsa mwana wathu wamkazi ku kumalo akutali anamukolera.

Makamaka, zidatenga tsiku loyipa ku konsati ya sukulu ya nazale kuti achitepo kanthu koyambirira komwe kudafunikira kuti tisinthe miyoyo yathu, kuti "Tipulumutse Julia Kawiri," monga buku langa limatchulidwira. Pomwe ndinali pamaganizidwe ndinadwala ndikulira chifukwa ndinazindikira kuti mwana wanga wamkazi anali wosungulumwa komanso wosowa kwawo nyumba. Julia sanathe kuyimba limodzi ndi gululo. Khalidwe lake losokoneza lidakakamiza mphunzitsi kuti amuchotse pa siteji ndikutuluka mchipinda. Izi sizingamveke ngati chochitika chachilendo kwambiri kwa mwana wamng'ono-koma kuyika m'malingaliro, ndidamvetsetsa nthawi yomweyo, ndiyenera kuchitapo kanthu.

Ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinagwirizana kuti tiwerenge zonse m'mabuku, maphunziro azachipatala komanso pa intaneti zomwe titha kukhala nazo pa matendawa. Khadi lathu la Bingo linali lodzaza. Julia anali mwana wojambula wa RAD. Tinayesetsa mwamphamvu komanso modzipereka kuthandiza mwana wathu wamkazi kukhala banja limodzi. Inali ntchito yathu ya tsiku ndi tsiku. Tidaphunzira kuti kulera mwana yemwe ali ndi vuto logwirizana kumafunikira chibadwa chosagwirizana ndi kulera-zina zomwe zimasokoneza komanso kudabwitsa abale ndi abwenzi. Anthu samamvetsetsa tikamayankha kukangana kwa Julia ndi nkhope yangokhala m'malo mongomusangalatsa. Tinkasekerera mpaka atawasiya, ndikupitilira ngati sizinachitike chifukwa ana a RAD amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito chipwirikiti ndipo ndikofunikira kuti atenge sewero. Sanamvetse kuti Julia sanafune kukumbatira ndipo sitinamupemphe kutero. Mothandizidwa ndi kafukufuku komanso kafukufuku wamilandu, tinali ndi bokosi lazida. Malangizo ena anali amtengo wapatali, ena adalephera. Njira zina zinagwira ntchito kwakanthawi. Tinkakhala mkati mwa labotale. Ndinkadziwa kuti ndinali ndi mwayi wokhala ndi mnzanga ngati Ricky chifukwa maukwati ndi nyumba zambiri zawonongeka chifukwa chovuta kutengera ana ovuta.

Popita nthawi, panali kuchita zambiri ndi Julia. Sikuti zimangokhala zachikondi komanso zotentha poyamba koma zimayenda m'njira yoyenera. Tinali kumukoka. Anayamba kuwonetsa mkwiyo m'malo mopanda chidwi. Pomwe luso lake pakulankhula lidakula, tinali ndi mwayi wokhoza kumufotokozera kuti timamukonda ndipo sitidzamusiya. Kuti tidamvetsetsa momwe zimawopsa kuti iye azikondedwa ndi wamkulu komanso kuti anali otetezeka. Tidamphunzitsa momwe angakhalire omasuka tikamamuyang'ana m'maso, ndikumamuphunzitsa kuchita chimodzimodzi. Kumvetsetsa momwe adamupwetekera kunatsegulanso mtima wanga ndikundipangitsa kukhala wachifundo, komanso wolimbikitsidwa kukhala mayi wake.

Kupita patsogolo kunatenga nthawi-ndipo ntchito yolumikizana ndi mwana wovulazidwayo ndichinthu chamoyo wonse. Julia adachoka kudera loopsa ali ndi zaka zisanu kapena zisanu ndi chimodzi. Anagwedeza chisoti chake ndi zida zake. Anandilola kukhala mayi ake. Ndimalemekeza kudaliraku pokumbukira, tsiku ndi tsiku, momwe akumenyera ndi ziwanda zosamvetsetsa komanso momwe nkhondo yake iliri yamphamvu.

Ali ndi zaka 11, ndiwodabwitsa kwa ine. Sikuti iye amangoseka chabe zomwe zimamuthandiza kujambula zithunzithunzi zapamwamba kapena momwe amasewera vayolini kapena kuchita bwino kusukulu. Kukwanitsa kwake kwakukulu ndikulola kukondana. Ngakhale ichi ndichikhalidwe chachiwiri m'mabanja ambiri, kwa ife ndichopambana.

Umwini Tina Traster